(Untitled)

[hey_assbutt]

WHO: Castiel, OTA
WHAT: Cas is contemplating life in Peaksville.
WHERE: He's not at the bar for once. Center of town.
WHEN: Day 45.

Comments

[hey_assbutt]

Castiel had noticed the moment her body went tense that she wasn't comfortable with something he had tended to do before her tape had originally been burnt and he knew. It was the same as the others before her and the others that would undoubtedly follow and still he wanted to pretend it was completely different as he stood there for a brief moment, shutting his eyes and pretending for the most part that Buffy hadn't asked who he was and this was still completely normal. At least to him it was but it really wasn't going to end up with him skipping off with her into the sunset and he would rather not entertain ideas that he could get into the swing of things again.

For the most part, Cas knew he had to gather his wits quickly as he pulled himself away from her, fixing his jacket. He didn't feel at all...presentable around her when he was in this state. He was sure he looked like he'd been on a bender for a week (or more). But it really wasn't something he'd worry about since this is what he'd come off of as he dropped his arms to the side, taking a step back. "I...apologize. That was unnecessary." He dropped his gaze down to his feet before steeling over, human emotions were...horrid things. He demised them more than the overwhelming need to actually rest or eat that he had.

"I am...Castiel. I'm an Angel of the Lord." He kept his eyes forward, looking on at the slayer. "You were here...once before." He didn't want to creep her out and say anything else but he didn't know tact. "We were...friends." Cas depended on Buffy on more things than he imagined. The constant reminder she gave him when it was time to eat, holding his hand so that he could sleep. Spending time with him. The need to do anything that was considered "bad" was so far thrown out the window that he didn't care too much for anything but the time he had for what short amount of time it was with the slayer.

[alwayscutoff]

Buffy could tell that he was bothered by her rigidity. She felt guilty for it. And though she couldn't remember, she felt like she should. She wanted to. The way he acted toward her wasn't anything she'd had in quite some time. The closest she could remember to it was taking comfort in Spike, just laying in his arms. The way this man acted toward her wasn't far from that; it was, perhaps, something deeper. He looked so broken and lost. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat, and fought the way her heart wanted to rise up out of her chest. Her stomach started to knot.

"You don't need to say you're sorry. I - ... I know I've been here before, even if I don't remember it. I'm just gonna take a wild guess here - we were close, weren't we?" She asked before he got a chance to explain. But he hadn't hugged her the way someone who was just a friend would hug her. It was a needy hug. A closer hug than just friends. Tighter. Almost desperate. "It's okay."

And then he spoke again.

Who was he, really? Did he just say - "... You're an angel?" Buffy couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Angels didn't exist - not really. Her brow knitted. ".. Like, wings and a harp and a halo and all that?" She couldn't wrap hr head around the concept. She paused. Friends? Friends. That wasn't right. No. There was something else. "... That wasn't a friend hug. That was a -... more-than-friend hug. A friend-and-then-some hug. .. How well did we know each other?"

[hey_assbutt]

Cas didn't want to seem selfish when it came to hugging Buffy, but it had been a purely selfish act. The moment his arms were wrapped around her a weight had been lifted off of him and he felt better about a lot of things. Not necessary of the situation they had been put in but the fact that it was going to be tolerable once again. He looked on at the slayer who probably couldn't help how guilty she looked before taking in a deep breath and reminding himself that Buffy didn't know. How could she know? She had died...in essence. He would have liked to say that she had gone to her home once more and was happy there in the time that she had been away but he didn't even know if that was the truth or not.

He pursed his lips together, tilting his head to the side. "We were, yes." Buffy had been the first relationship he had outside of the Winchesters (and Bobby). It was something to marvel at more than anything else. He felt his chest constrict at the...feelings that must have been exposed the moment he practically launched himself and wrapped his arms around her. But truth be told, he didn't get the same feeling as he had before. Most likely because she didn't feel the same way. Castiel would have put better understanding to the fact but he simply...did not know.

He nodded before pausing for a brief moment. "We do not...have harps. Or halos. We do have wings." He paused for a brief moment. "I do not have them now. This place has made me...human." Regretfully. He would have dealt with things better if he was just an angel for the most part. "We...spent the majority of our time together. When I needed comfort I sought it from you and...likewise."