(no subject)
WHO: Castiel, OTA
WHAT: Cas is contemplating life in Peaksville.
WHERE: He's not at the bar for once. Center of town.
WHEN: Day 45.
To say that he had grown...apathic to the plight of the residents of Peaksville would be correct to say the least. Cas wasn't in the mentality where anything affected his state of being to the point where he didn't know what to do next. He had his opinions on the others even if he hadn't exactly gotten to know any of them. He didn't see the point to doing so. When it came to the others -- he knew he wasn't the most socialable individual in the world. Where most people could feel somewhat comfortable talking to others, Castiel's own personal refuge was usually the bar but he had set it aside for something that was much more than just a refuge but it was a way he could forget. Being in the place he was now. Most people had come to push the thought of 'acceptance' away for the thought of being able to fight back and doing something about their situation. Try to make something out of it but Cas knew for the most part that it was better to fight back then to go the road he had into complency. He wasn't a fighter -- with no true reason to fight as much for the name of Heaven or for the name of Winchester. There was really no point to doing so when neither of them needed someone to fight for them and truth be told, he was sure Buffy wouldn't want to see him this way.
But doing everything in the memory of Buffy would have ran him ragged eventually. He didn't want to exactly turn into the Winchesters as they had made the same mistake as others had before. Even if they had been the ones who had put him on the path he was at the moment. They were the ones who had taught him about humanity; Dean had put him onto the path of feeling but Buffy was the one who had put him on the path to accepting his humanity in a way Dean never could do. He just seemed to soak up the endless angst and bitterness towards the world from his dear friend, even if Dean didn't mean to do it intentionally it still did that. He didn't really want to say he held it against him. Dean didn't know any better and now their friendship was even more severed since Dean seemed to know another Cas rather than himself however that had worked. He didn't really understand that or worry too much about it.
The former angel sighed briefly as he abandoned the bar, not exactly stumbling around as he tucked his hands in the jean pockets he was wearing. There wasn't less of a thought that he didn't care too much for the place he was in. He didn't really care. What he did worry about constantly wasn't monsters anymore it was those horrible tapes. Getting close to people only to lose them to a pile on the front lawn of the boarding house. He sighed heavily as he kept moving, running his hand through his hair as he came to a stop in the middle of town. He just didn't feel it anymore. The humanity he was supposed to gain when he was stripped of his abilities. The feelings he was supposed to have. The only thing he had going for him was...well, nothing. Even coped in different ways and this was Cas's as he moved to sit on a bench, leaning back to relax before tilting his head up and soaking up the sun for a brief moment or two.
WHAT: Cas is contemplating life in Peaksville.
WHERE: He's not at the bar for once. Center of town.
WHEN: Day 45.
To say that he had grown...apathic to the plight of the residents of Peaksville would be correct to say the least. Cas wasn't in the mentality where anything affected his state of being to the point where he didn't know what to do next. He had his opinions on the others even if he hadn't exactly gotten to know any of them. He didn't see the point to doing so. When it came to the others -- he knew he wasn't the most socialable individual in the world. Where most people could feel somewhat comfortable talking to others, Castiel's own personal refuge was usually the bar but he had set it aside for something that was much more than just a refuge but it was a way he could forget. Being in the place he was now. Most people had come to push the thought of 'acceptance' away for the thought of being able to fight back and doing something about their situation. Try to make something out of it but Cas knew for the most part that it was better to fight back then to go the road he had into complency. He wasn't a fighter -- with no true reason to fight as much for the name of Heaven or for the name of Winchester. There was really no point to doing so when neither of them needed someone to fight for them and truth be told, he was sure Buffy wouldn't want to see him this way.
But doing everything in the memory of Buffy would have ran him ragged eventually. He didn't want to exactly turn into the Winchesters as they had made the same mistake as others had before. Even if they had been the ones who had put him on the path he was at the moment. They were the ones who had taught him about humanity; Dean had put him onto the path of feeling but Buffy was the one who had put him on the path to accepting his humanity in a way Dean never could do. He just seemed to soak up the endless angst and bitterness towards the world from his dear friend, even if Dean didn't mean to do it intentionally it still did that. He didn't really want to say he held it against him. Dean didn't know any better and now their friendship was even more severed since Dean seemed to know another Cas rather than himself however that had worked. He didn't really understand that or worry too much about it.
The former angel sighed briefly as he abandoned the bar, not exactly stumbling around as he tucked his hands in the jean pockets he was wearing. There wasn't less of a thought that he didn't care too much for the place he was in. He didn't really care. What he did worry about constantly wasn't monsters anymore it was those horrible tapes. Getting close to people only to lose them to a pile on the front lawn of the boarding house. He sighed heavily as he kept moving, running his hand through his hair as he came to a stop in the middle of town. He just didn't feel it anymore. The humanity he was supposed to gain when he was stripped of his abilities. The feelings he was supposed to have. The only thing he had going for him was...well, nothing. Even coped in different ways and this was Cas's as he moved to sit on a bench, leaning back to relax before tilting his head up and soaking up the sun for a brief moment or two.