(Untitled)

[hey_assbutt]

WHO: Castiel, OTA
WHAT: Cas is contemplating life in Peaksville.
WHERE: He's not at the bar for once. Center of town.
WHEN: Day 45.

Comments

[alwayscutoff]

One day of Cordelia's voice being the equivalent of a sonic scream had been enough to exhaust her. She'd found her room, though begrudgingly, and curled up in her bed to sleep. And she slept. And she kept sleeping. She couldn't be bothered. Buffy was tired. She needed the rest. But, eventually, sitting around the boarding house got to her. She was bored. Restless. She didn't really know what she could, or was supposed to, do. The best idea she came up with for anything to do was just to walk around the town and attempt to get a grip on it. Where things were, how things worked...

She figured it might be just as well to start from the center and work her way out. She took a quick survey of the places and things she passed on the way, but wasn't trying to map it all out in her head too meticulously. Not yet. With all of these things in mind, and the thoughts of what she'd left behind at home weighing upon those, she made her quiet journey into the center of town.

Buffy couldn't help but pause when she spotted him. She didn't recognize him; didn't have the slightest inkling of who he might be. But he looked just about as miserable as he felt. So, in the way that she often did, she walked right up to him. She canted her head to the side, a slight furrow to her brow and a downturn at the corners of her lips. "... Are you okay?"

[hey_assbutt]

To say he had given up on the idea of Buffy never returning to him would be a...lie. The moment Dean had come back to Peaksville he was always longingly awaiting the moment when the slayer would walk through the doors and grace them with her presence once more. Cas had promised himself that he wouldn't be as he had been once before. That he would put more thought into how he approached her. That he would be around her more than he had before and it was something that he intended to keep. Though the former angel's ear to the ground hadn't exactly been one thing he was practicing. While most people were gossiping away (and Cas probably would have figured out that Buffy had returned through that way).

He hadn't. The lack of connection to the other residents had only left him annoyed with the situation he was in, thus only thinking of himself in many scenarios rather than anyone else. He'd all but figured that he could lounge back and enjoy a day after the headache had subsided but it didn't seem to get to that way the moment her voice hit his ears. For a time, he was almost positive he was imagining it. It wouldn't be the first time after all that he would have a conversation with Buffy just out of missing her so much.

His eyes slowly opened, briefly adjusting to the light that surrounded them before he looked over at the blonde standing there and the world stood still.

She looked the same as she had when she had left. The same confident stance when she stood there, a concerned look on her face probably because of the state she was in. He hadn't even imagined that it was the same situation as Dean was in where she was completely restarted from her previous stay as he moved to his feet and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. "Buffy, you're back. I knew you'd come back. If the others came back I knew you'd come back." He kept his arms around her, shutting his eyes tightly as he does. "I've missed you..."

[alwayscutoff]

Buffy immediately tensed. There were arms around her. Arms she didn't know. But she remembered what Cordelia had told her - she'd been here before. She didn't remember it, but she had. She'd met people. Made connections with them. Which only meant that people had connections with her. This man, clearly, was one of them. "Um -" she started, sighing.

"... I - ... Knew you, obviously, but -... who are you?"

She figured it would be better to be straightforward. Something in her gut told her not to push him away, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to tell him that she didn't understand his affection. Buffy tried to relax, but to her, this was a stranger. Just... holding her. Talking to her like he was desperate for her. He'd missed her.

And a part of her wished she could tell him she'd missed him, too. But she hadn't. She didn't even know who he was.

[hey_assbutt]

Castiel had noticed the moment her body went tense that she wasn't comfortable with something he had tended to do before her tape had originally been burnt and he knew. It was the same as the others before her and the others that would undoubtedly follow and still he wanted to pretend it was completely different as he stood there for a brief moment, shutting his eyes and pretending for the most part that Buffy hadn't asked who he was and this was still completely normal. At least to him it was but it really wasn't going to end up with him skipping off with her into the sunset and he would rather not entertain ideas that he could get into the swing of things again.

For the most part, Cas knew he had to gather his wits quickly as he pulled himself away from her, fixing his jacket. He didn't feel at all...presentable around her when he was in this state. He was sure he looked like he'd been on a bender for a week (or more). But it really wasn't something he'd worry about since this is what he'd come off of as he dropped his arms to the side, taking a step back. "I...apologize. That was unnecessary." He dropped his gaze down to his feet before steeling over, human emotions were...horrid things. He demised them more than the overwhelming need to actually rest or eat that he had.

"I am...Castiel. I'm an Angel of the Lord." He kept his eyes forward, looking on at the slayer. "You were here...once before." He didn't want to creep her out and say anything else but he didn't know tact. "We were...friends." Cas depended on Buffy on more things than he imagined. The constant reminder she gave him when it was time to eat, holding his hand so that he could sleep. Spending time with him. The need to do anything that was considered "bad" was so far thrown out the window that he didn't care too much for anything but the time he had for what short amount of time it was with the slayer.

[alwayscutoff]

Buffy could tell that he was bothered by her rigidity. She felt guilty for it. And though she couldn't remember, she felt like she should. She wanted to. The way he acted toward her wasn't anything she'd had in quite some time. The closest she could remember to it was taking comfort in Spike, just laying in his arms. The way this man acted toward her wasn't far from that; it was, perhaps, something deeper. He looked so broken and lost. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat, and fought the way her heart wanted to rise up out of her chest. Her stomach started to knot.

"You don't need to say you're sorry. I - ... I know I've been here before, even if I don't remember it. I'm just gonna take a wild guess here - we were close, weren't we?" She asked before he got a chance to explain. But he hadn't hugged her the way someone who was just a friend would hug her. It was a needy hug. A closer hug than just friends. Tighter. Almost desperate. "It's okay."

And then he spoke again.

Who was he, really? Did he just say - "... You're an angel?" Buffy couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Angels didn't exist - not really. Her brow knitted. ".. Like, wings and a harp and a halo and all that?" She couldn't wrap hr head around the concept. She paused. Friends? Friends. That wasn't right. No. There was something else. "... That wasn't a friend hug. That was a -... more-than-friend hug. A friend-and-then-some hug. .. How well did we know each other?"

[hey_assbutt]

Cas didn't want to seem selfish when it came to hugging Buffy, but it had been a purely selfish act. The moment his arms were wrapped around her a weight had been lifted off of him and he felt better about a lot of things. Not necessary of the situation they had been put in but the fact that it was going to be tolerable once again. He looked on at the slayer who probably couldn't help how guilty she looked before taking in a deep breath and reminding himself that Buffy didn't know. How could she know? She had died...in essence. He would have liked to say that she had gone to her home once more and was happy there in the time that she had been away but he didn't even know if that was the truth or not.

He pursed his lips together, tilting his head to the side. "We were, yes." Buffy had been the first relationship he had outside of the Winchesters (and Bobby). It was something to marvel at more than anything else. He felt his chest constrict at the...feelings that must have been exposed the moment he practically launched himself and wrapped his arms around her. But truth be told, he didn't get the same feeling as he had before. Most likely because she didn't feel the same way. Castiel would have put better understanding to the fact but he simply...did not know.

He nodded before pausing for a brief moment. "We do not...have harps. Or halos. We do have wings." He paused for a brief moment. "I do not have them now. This place has made me...human." Regretfully. He would have dealt with things better if he was just an angel for the most part. "We...spent the majority of our time together. When I needed comfort I sought it from you and...likewise."