Public Service Announcement: Last Minute Christmas Gifts

[twilightu]

Time is running out to make the TwiHard in your life a happy girl (or emo boy) for Christmas. As a public service, the staff at Twilight University has compiled a list of must-have Twilight accessories for every preteen and TwiMom. Just print the list and head out to your local Twilight Superstore (aka Hot Topic). Nothing celebrates the Birth of Baby Jesus in a Manger like sparkly vampires and the teenagers that love them.

Top Ten Twilight Gifts
For the Slightly Deranged TwiFan

1. The Gift of Sparkle! Have yourself a dazzling little Christmas. (Um, I just wanted to shimmer. Why is Edward looking at me like that?) (If you know this sad guy, you have officially found the perfect gift.)
2. The "Action" Figure (If by "action" they mean "looking super chagrined," then yes.)
3. Stocking Stuffer! Featuring what appears to be fan art 
4. The Potential Twilight Collector's Item (In the event that the Guy Who Plays Jacob is replaced, this will become valuable. Or you could just burn it. Up to you.)*
5. A Manly Wrist Cuff, for the boy who is just not getting beat up enough
6. Apparel for Aspiring Stalkers (Also a good warning for the rest of us. If you see someone wearing this shirt, just run away.) (Who am I kidding? I looove this shirt. I cannot wait to see someone wearing it.)
7. The Gift of Child Abuse (You know these kids are going to grow up pissed. Especially the ones named Renesmee.)
8. The Edward Stocking (Because $70 is not too much to pay to prove your loyalty. There is only one left! Hurry! Team Edward!)
9. Cullen Crest Jewelry (I hear that it makes you move in slooow mo in high school cafeterias. But that is just a rumor.)
10. The Romantic Twilight T-shirt for 11 year old girls and TwiMoms (I think they might have the same mental capacity.) (Okay, I included this one just because I love the look on the model's face.)

*Dear Santa, Please get rid of the kid with the teeth. Love, Profs. Pattz and Stew