why?
why nickolas,
i wasn't really in the holiday spirit to begin with this year, and then this? and not even through mom, sweet, or charlie. tio checo told me. i don't want him to join. i don't want him to leave us, to go away, to not come back. he's my little brother. and through we always fight i love him, i don't want to lose anyone else. and mom... why? i don't understand. i can't handle losing anyone else. i can't handle mom being sick. i remember sitting with dad in the ICU with all the tubes and wires on him. holding his hand while he tried to carry on somewhat of a conversation. trying my hardest to fight back tears. i can't do that again, i can't do that with mom. i can't handle another knock at the door by two uniformed men. i can't handle anothr night of disbelife and late night phone calls. i can't do it.please please pleeease not again. i love you nick, i miss you so much. please help me get through this.
i love you,
always and forever
i wasn't really in the holiday spirit to begin with this year, and then this? and not even through mom, sweet, or charlie. tio checo told me. i don't want him to join. i don't want him to leave us, to go away, to not come back. he's my little brother. and through we always fight i love him, i don't want to lose anyone else. and mom... why? i don't understand. i can't handle losing anyone else. i can't handle mom being sick. i remember sitting with dad in the ICU with all the tubes and wires on him. holding his hand while he tried to carry on somewhat of a conversation. trying my hardest to fight back tears. i can't do that again, i can't do that with mom. i can't handle another knock at the door by two uniformed men. i can't handle anothr night of disbelife and late night phone calls. i can't do it.please please pleeease not again. i love you nick, i miss you so much. please help me get through this.
i love you,
always and forever