september blues.
i'm definitely getting sick.
i haven't yet hit my stride.
dropped down to 12 credits.
the pace of work is steady.
this is going to be good
this is going to be hard.
so it goes.
i realized this morning and yesterday when i reread old livejournal
how little has changes:
from january 2006
So my biggest fear is that I go to NSCAD and become the kind of person who makes great work and
then talks about it at artist talks or gallery openings and makes it completely uninteresting. Makes
you feel like if you'd just gone to art school you'd know exactly what the frig she was talking about.
That's probably the real reason NSCAD scares me. I want to still be me at the end.
and even more telling
There are many other innumerable wonderful things happening to me and in general that I find myself wracked with near anxiety attacks that someone is going to tell me something awful and make things normal again. Maybe it's time for me to reevalute my definition of normal. People don't write novels or movies that are believable that involve people being happy all the time b/c it's so implausible, just when I think things are too good, I come home to my den of filth and I'm struck with a bizarre sense of balance.
i still feel that all the time. lately i have a desire to stop living in a den of filth though.
it really does make things more complicated then it needs to be-
but is that what it's really about- that i must always be vaguely unhappy- out of a bizarre sense of balance-
meaning that i am awestruck by the world- but identify always with the filth.
adam's right.
i'm one rad weirdo.
i haven't yet hit my stride.
dropped down to 12 credits.
the pace of work is steady.
this is going to be good
this is going to be hard.
so it goes.
i realized this morning and yesterday when i reread old livejournal
how little has changes:
from january 2006
So my biggest fear is that I go to NSCAD and become the kind of person who makes great work and
then talks about it at artist talks or gallery openings and makes it completely uninteresting. Makes
you feel like if you'd just gone to art school you'd know exactly what the frig she was talking about.
That's probably the real reason NSCAD scares me. I want to still be me at the end.
and even more telling
There are many other innumerable wonderful things happening to me and in general that I find myself wracked with near anxiety attacks that someone is going to tell me something awful and make things normal again. Maybe it's time for me to reevalute my definition of normal. People don't write novels or movies that are believable that involve people being happy all the time b/c it's so implausible, just when I think things are too good, I come home to my den of filth and I'm struck with a bizarre sense of balance.
i still feel that all the time. lately i have a desire to stop living in a den of filth though.
it really does make things more complicated then it needs to be-
but is that what it's really about- that i must always be vaguely unhappy- out of a bizarre sense of balance-
meaning that i am awestruck by the world- but identify always with the filth.
adam's right.
i'm one rad weirdo.