"What the Paymaster Said" by Kevin Prufer
What the Paymaster Said
By Kevin Prufer
Instead of a paycheck, the company offered me kind thoughts. We'll give
you three, the paymaster said, one for your diligence and two for your beautiful
wife. No, no. I did not want their kind thoughts. I'd had enough of them.
If not that, the paymaster said. then what about apples? They are delicious
apples, fresh from Wisconsin, and sweet. Under every one, the fruitpicker has held
his palm, has wobbled each apple until it fell ripely into his hand of its own accord.
Three bushels. But I did not want their apples. I wanted what was mine.
We must learn not to be selfish in difficult times, the paymaster said, but you type
quite well. You type superbly, your fingers flashing across the keyboard like beau-
tiful blades of tall grass when the wind blows from the distant mountains. I will
give you cigarettes for your typing, or I will give you bombs.
The bombs are quite nice. They fall from airplanes which you will rent by the hour.
The company will lease you an airplane at a discounted rate, but the bombs will
be yours to keep. You have such a pleasant manner, we can't afford to lose you. So
I make this fine offer. I shook my head. I didn't want cigarettes or bombs.
I have many mouths to feed, and my wife would not be happy if I
brought home only bombs.
The paymaster sighed and adjusted his coat so the gold buttons winked
in the office lights. You are ungrateful, he told me, but I will offer you one
more thing. Instead of a paycheck, I will give you coffins. The grain is as fine as a
dragonfly's wing. Coffins for your entire family-all at the company's generous
expense.
Copyright © 2002 Kevin Prufer.