"Which English king invented the fireplace? Alfred the Grate."

"A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck down his trousers. Barman asks "Why have you got a steering wheel stuck down your trousers?" Man replies, "Oh don't start - it's driving me nuts."

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You know how you say things like "you'll be struck by lightning" when someone says something controversial or blasphemous or whatever?  Or you might think My God strike me down for this. That sort of thing. Well... if it can happen to Jesus, i guess nobody's safe! *snork* Seems a big statue of Jesus in Ohio got struck by lightning and destroyed! I ( Read more... )

According to my cousin Stu (WINOLJ), "Word of the wise on St. Patrick's Day: Never iron a four leaf clover, because you don't want to press your luck!"

*snork*

This was posted on our employee classified ads forum. On the main listing page there is just the title and the person's name and a small pic of the tree. It jumped right off the page and cracked me up. Clearly the title space was cut off at 30 characters. It would have been ok when they posted it to sell I think, but they added the "SOLD --- " bit ( Read more... )

There's a really great/bad pun in the comment thread of this today that's just tickled my funny bone. "Descartes got there first"...."Before the horse, you mean?" *snork* as far as the cartoon goes, i *think* the term derived or derivative has to do with calculus but i can't remember back that far. I think i put up a mental block against calculus ( Read more... )

You know how sometimes you read something quickly and see a word that isn't there which completely changes the sentence? I just scanned the back of a paperback which read "the monsignor was knifed to death....". But i read it as "the monsignor was knitted to death"... *snork* and in gales of giggles with tears running down my face at that one, a ( Read more... )

Nicked from sparklielizard, this one's kind of fun. Not as "fantastic" as Face in Hole, these ones put your face on posters, artwork, billboards, etc.
( fun stuff )

It's a terrible thing. I shouldn't be laughing. There was a fire in an animal shelter in Ontario where about 100 cats died along with several dogs and rabbits and i feel very bad about that. What struck me funny is that they suspect the cause of the fire is mice. Mice! Chewing through the wires! Talk about "vengeance is mine"!  My coworker says if ( Read more... )

I don't know why these amuse me.
( but they do )