In search of Zlaty in Zlata Praga
I had my interview with the Caledonian School, a major TEFL outfit which also outfits its American teachers with work visas. I didn't come here to work illegally, as many TEFLers do end up doing. The interview was later that day, a great day got better. Pending the contract I am supposed to sign tomorrow, I am going to be working for a premier institution. They take care of transit passes, free Czech lessons...it's a deal, man. Life is good in Golden Prague.
You probably gleaned that I found a place to stay. It's in central Prague that makes Hartley look like a concentration camp. It has a gas range, oven (something of a rarity), dishwasher (unheard of) and a washer in the kitchen, and a huge tub/shower with 2 sinks in the marbled bathroom. It's cheap even for here, at 4000 Kc ($160 a month...probably a little under 1/4 of what my pay will ultimately be).....including satellite, internet,and utilities. Ludicrous. Oh yes, and fully furnished, down to the fucking linens. Alas, I still haven't graduated to an apartment with a living room. But with 11000 bars in city limits, who needs one?
Moving back a bit, you also may have gathered that if I am applying for jobs, I passed the program. Okay, so I housed the program, but it was hard work, and I am confident that there is no way I would have been able to properly teach the subject without their training. Kudos to them.
I'd received some interesting, if slightly frightening, but flattering all the same, pictures from the Boston kids and their Halloween antics. Oh and Colin, you can Fed Ex me my suit at my folks address. Thanks though, to those folks...that brightened a busy and difficult period.
I also received a visitor, in Angela, which was also fun. I was glad she made it and it was good to give my role as a night-life guru a dry run. There are just so many places...
My Halloween was less eventful. No one much celebrates it here, but I met up with some ex-pats (XPs, from here on out) at their apartment. I ended up dressing as a "white trash vampire," donning a crappy cape over a stained wife-beater. It was fun, particularly when the alcoholic hostess decided that she needed a bath, but ended up stepping on one of the condoms filled with water that someone had mined the floor of her bathroom with. I wasn't there for the part where she fell asleep in the tub with it running and was only awakened by the sound of pounding on the apartment door accompanied by angry streams of Czech, issuing forth from the man whose apartment she was now flooding with her negligence. Lesson learned.
Thanksgiving was also an XP event and occurred when I was still in the shitty student house. Luckily Mark was hosting the event so my Thanksgiving dinner didn't have to come off the Coca-Cola tablecloth at luxurious Skalka. Using a hotplate, Tesco (think British walmart) oregano, and mint dental floss that I had to soak for a while to kill the flavor, I managed to make bracciole for the American Ex-pats Thanksgiving dinner. It actually came out pretty well, mostly owing to the high quality Romano from the Italian specialty store. It was good though, and I didn't miss the family thing too much, as I had them do Thanksgiving with me before I left.
For all you dog lovers, you should consider Prague. I have never seen so many of the woman-captivating, shit-producing creatures in my life. Needless to say, I have had to adapt my stance of neutral disregard for K9s to be at least somewhat less rigid, if not overtly positive. I would be run out of town, otherwise. I have also never seen so many muzzles on dogs. Maybe it's just that there are more of them so I see more muzzles, but my gut tells me that it's not that. Either the Czechs breed a bunch of mean dogs, or they are just not into risking the dog's getting into altercations. I'd like to think they were that conscientious, but when you see the way they disregard the waste that issues forth from their precious little pups, I am doubtful at best that they have other's interests (or shoes) in mind when it comes to their pets. With the combination of ass, art, and architecture preventing one from looking down, it's a wonder I've only smeared crap on the cobbles once or twice.
Apparently my old buddy Problems With Girls was on the flight after me and at least came to Prague for a visit. It looks like his his visa is up soon, because things have been pretty good lately. But Czech women continue to elude me. I think they have a basic mistrust of anyone who gives up a career at an institute carrying the name of a reputable US university to come here, work odd hours, and take a $30000 pay cut. Maybe they are onto something. I've met quite a few of them, but you seem to hit a wall at some point. Particularly for those whose English is weaker...it's just plain tiring for them. It can be painful to watch someone's eyes glaze over, and not because you are musing on the rifled muskets of the Union Army in the American Civil War. That's a joke...come on.
There are many here though, with excellent English. Mike C's friend Kristina (Czech-Canadian, eh) had a party I went to and there was a really interesting (and of course cute) Czech girl there, who loved languages and all, but something went wrong somewhere. It seems like that no matter were you are, whether it's Hanka from Teplice, or Michelle from whatthefuck Long Island, when a girl goes to the bathroom and never comes back, that's usually bad news. It doesn't help much either when your big pick-up line is "Mluvite anglicky?" or, "Do you speak English?"
I am continually stunned with their quality, however...and am not prepared to give up. It's not just the young ones either...the shelf life of women here is quite high. Daily one is presented with the scenario were someone looks great from behind and one says to oneself "Hey honey, why don't we just go grab a holy shit you're 50." Good-looking 50, but 50.
This country ranks high on any list dealing with attractiveness in females, but in one category it reigns supreme...the MILF. Normally for someone like me a baby carriage drives my attention away like hordes before Caesar. In Prague, a baby carriage is a harbinger of a beauty who's apparent mission in life is to push the carriage and progeny around until her ass eclipses its pre-gestation form.
Which on a softer note, brings me to the children. If you are teetering on the brink of babies, ladies, then this is either just what you need, or maybe you should stay away, depending on your attitude. Czech kids, whether it's genuine or contrived, are so freakin cute and innocent-looking that it's obvious why not even the SS could hurt them...sending children of "liquidated" Czechs to Germany to be raised by German families. So for a normal person, they have to bring a smile to your face. And this must be a very child-friendly place, as kids are constantly wandering around on their own. From a 3 year old whose mother is elsewhere in a store to 7 year olds solo on the subway, it is far to common to be negligence...it just must be acceptable, meaning that the children are considered safe in these circumstances. Open containers and no kidnappers??? I guess I've arrived in civilization.
Sorry ladies...like Spain, the mystery of how beautiful kids and women swim in the same gene pool as Czech dudes is as yet, unsolved. Blanketly average, it is a miracle of genetics that they sire and are given birth to by Czech women, who in the truest sense of the word are DEFINITELY the fairer sex. Don't get me wrong, I mean, they've got their share of winners same as the US, but nothing to set the place apart.
Saw KMFDM. In a warehouse. Bizarre.
I am coming home on Dec 21. I will be available through Dec 30. I plan stops in Boston and Philly (of course NYC and NJ), so if you have suggested timeframes, get them out to me ASAP so I can plan this junk. I have a slim margin of error here. Now I have to be in NJ the 24th and 25th at least, but right now, the rest is wide open. The 31st I will be flying back, toasting the New Year with a make-up masked British Airways stewardess and her bad teeth somewhere over the North Atlantic.
Na schledanou,
SB
You probably gleaned that I found a place to stay. It's in central Prague that makes Hartley look like a concentration camp. It has a gas range, oven (something of a rarity), dishwasher (unheard of) and a washer in the kitchen, and a huge tub/shower with 2 sinks in the marbled bathroom. It's cheap even for here, at 4000 Kc ($160 a month...probably a little under 1/4 of what my pay will ultimately be).....including satellite, internet,and utilities. Ludicrous. Oh yes, and fully furnished, down to the fucking linens. Alas, I still haven't graduated to an apartment with a living room. But with 11000 bars in city limits, who needs one?
Moving back a bit, you also may have gathered that if I am applying for jobs, I passed the program. Okay, so I housed the program, but it was hard work, and I am confident that there is no way I would have been able to properly teach the subject without their training. Kudos to them.
I'd received some interesting, if slightly frightening, but flattering all the same, pictures from the Boston kids and their Halloween antics. Oh and Colin, you can Fed Ex me my suit at my folks address. Thanks though, to those folks...that brightened a busy and difficult period.
I also received a visitor, in Angela, which was also fun. I was glad she made it and it was good to give my role as a night-life guru a dry run. There are just so many places...
My Halloween was less eventful. No one much celebrates it here, but I met up with some ex-pats (XPs, from here on out) at their apartment. I ended up dressing as a "white trash vampire," donning a crappy cape over a stained wife-beater. It was fun, particularly when the alcoholic hostess decided that she needed a bath, but ended up stepping on one of the condoms filled with water that someone had mined the floor of her bathroom with. I wasn't there for the part where she fell asleep in the tub with it running and was only awakened by the sound of pounding on the apartment door accompanied by angry streams of Czech, issuing forth from the man whose apartment she was now flooding with her negligence. Lesson learned.
Thanksgiving was also an XP event and occurred when I was still in the shitty student house. Luckily Mark was hosting the event so my Thanksgiving dinner didn't have to come off the Coca-Cola tablecloth at luxurious Skalka. Using a hotplate, Tesco (think British walmart) oregano, and mint dental floss that I had to soak for a while to kill the flavor, I managed to make bracciole for the American Ex-pats Thanksgiving dinner. It actually came out pretty well, mostly owing to the high quality Romano from the Italian specialty store. It was good though, and I didn't miss the family thing too much, as I had them do Thanksgiving with me before I left.
For all you dog lovers, you should consider Prague. I have never seen so many of the woman-captivating, shit-producing creatures in my life. Needless to say, I have had to adapt my stance of neutral disregard for K9s to be at least somewhat less rigid, if not overtly positive. I would be run out of town, otherwise. I have also never seen so many muzzles on dogs. Maybe it's just that there are more of them so I see more muzzles, but my gut tells me that it's not that. Either the Czechs breed a bunch of mean dogs, or they are just not into risking the dog's getting into altercations. I'd like to think they were that conscientious, but when you see the way they disregard the waste that issues forth from their precious little pups, I am doubtful at best that they have other's interests (or shoes) in mind when it comes to their pets. With the combination of ass, art, and architecture preventing one from looking down, it's a wonder I've only smeared crap on the cobbles once or twice.
Apparently my old buddy Problems With Girls was on the flight after me and at least came to Prague for a visit. It looks like his his visa is up soon, because things have been pretty good lately. But Czech women continue to elude me. I think they have a basic mistrust of anyone who gives up a career at an institute carrying the name of a reputable US university to come here, work odd hours, and take a $30000 pay cut. Maybe they are onto something. I've met quite a few of them, but you seem to hit a wall at some point. Particularly for those whose English is weaker...it's just plain tiring for them. It can be painful to watch someone's eyes glaze over, and not because you are musing on the rifled muskets of the Union Army in the American Civil War. That's a joke...come on.
There are many here though, with excellent English. Mike C's friend Kristina (Czech-Canadian, eh) had a party I went to and there was a really interesting (and of course cute) Czech girl there, who loved languages and all, but something went wrong somewhere. It seems like that no matter were you are, whether it's Hanka from Teplice, or Michelle from whatthefuck Long Island, when a girl goes to the bathroom and never comes back, that's usually bad news. It doesn't help much either when your big pick-up line is "Mluvite anglicky?" or, "Do you speak English?"
I am continually stunned with their quality, however...and am not prepared to give up. It's not just the young ones either...the shelf life of women here is quite high. Daily one is presented with the scenario were someone looks great from behind and one says to oneself "Hey honey, why don't we just go grab a holy shit you're 50." Good-looking 50, but 50.
This country ranks high on any list dealing with attractiveness in females, but in one category it reigns supreme...the MILF. Normally for someone like me a baby carriage drives my attention away like hordes before Caesar. In Prague, a baby carriage is a harbinger of a beauty who's apparent mission in life is to push the carriage and progeny around until her ass eclipses its pre-gestation form.
Which on a softer note, brings me to the children. If you are teetering on the brink of babies, ladies, then this is either just what you need, or maybe you should stay away, depending on your attitude. Czech kids, whether it's genuine or contrived, are so freakin cute and innocent-looking that it's obvious why not even the SS could hurt them...sending children of "liquidated" Czechs to Germany to be raised by German families. So for a normal person, they have to bring a smile to your face. And this must be a very child-friendly place, as kids are constantly wandering around on their own. From a 3 year old whose mother is elsewhere in a store to 7 year olds solo on the subway, it is far to common to be negligence...it just must be acceptable, meaning that the children are considered safe in these circumstances. Open containers and no kidnappers??? I guess I've arrived in civilization.
Sorry ladies...like Spain, the mystery of how beautiful kids and women swim in the same gene pool as Czech dudes is as yet, unsolved. Blanketly average, it is a miracle of genetics that they sire and are given birth to by Czech women, who in the truest sense of the word are DEFINITELY the fairer sex. Don't get me wrong, I mean, they've got their share of winners same as the US, but nothing to set the place apart.
Saw KMFDM. In a warehouse. Bizarre.
I am coming home on Dec 21. I will be available through Dec 30. I plan stops in Boston and Philly (of course NYC and NJ), so if you have suggested timeframes, get them out to me ASAP so I can plan this junk. I have a slim margin of error here. Now I have to be in NJ the 24th and 25th at least, but right now, the rest is wide open. The 31st I will be flying back, toasting the New Year with a make-up masked British Airways stewardess and her bad teeth somewhere over the North Atlantic.
Na schledanou,
SB