You make me nervous, like screaming motorcycles. (or my life is super mario word)
Last night, after a mental breakdown, I went out for a drink with Dmitri.
Gary called mid rounds ostensibly because he was bored, but I don’t think the fact that he chugged an entire pitcher of beer within five minutes, along with the plethora of assorted rum buckets he consumed prior to that was a coincidence.
Although, it did make the Dmitri/Gary “hangout time” less awkward, in the sense that they couldn’t stop talking to each other. Weird. Hearts to Dmitri, hearts to my baby.
After we left the bar, Gary proceeded to turn off all the lights and drunkenly stammer around 206, feigning the noise from “The Grudge” because he knew how much it frightens me.
Then, he pounced on me and started screaming “I MET YOU OFF MYSPACE! I MET YOU OFF MYSPACE!”
I just want to date a normal boy, is that so much to ask?
I tricked him into falling asleep because I was tired and not in the mood for any strenuous activities.
…LIKE GOING TO THE POOL, GUYS, GOSH.
My mom went to the emergency room this morning because of a ridiculously painful UTI in which she could only urinate blood.
She’s ok now. YAY!
I had to go to work relatively early, though. One of the delivery guys gave me his number, I enjoy being flattered.
I can’t deal with the smell of pizza anymore.
Tomarrow is a pamper day for me and my car.
I'm not entirely sure I remember this night so well.
but I do remember trying to beat the shit out of Chloe with a plunger because she drunkenly broke in on me while I was drunkenly trying to pee.
I apologize for the snorkeling mask but you have to admit its a funny series of photos.
As you might be able to judge from the picture above: My feet were the last thing Chloe saw before I savagely beat her with the bacteria infested plunger.
I'm Fem. Super Mario.
Gary called mid rounds ostensibly because he was bored, but I don’t think the fact that he chugged an entire pitcher of beer within five minutes, along with the plethora of assorted rum buckets he consumed prior to that was a coincidence.
Although, it did make the Dmitri/Gary “hangout time” less awkward, in the sense that they couldn’t stop talking to each other. Weird. Hearts to Dmitri, hearts to my baby.
After we left the bar, Gary proceeded to turn off all the lights and drunkenly stammer around 206, feigning the noise from “The Grudge” because he knew how much it frightens me.
Then, he pounced on me and started screaming “I MET YOU OFF MYSPACE! I MET YOU OFF MYSPACE!”
I just want to date a normal boy, is that so much to ask?
I tricked him into falling asleep because I was tired and not in the mood for any strenuous activities.
…LIKE GOING TO THE POOL, GUYS, GOSH.
My mom went to the emergency room this morning because of a ridiculously painful UTI in which she could only urinate blood.
She’s ok now. YAY!
I had to go to work relatively early, though. One of the delivery guys gave me his number, I enjoy being flattered.
I can’t deal with the smell of pizza anymore.
Tomarrow is a pamper day for me and my car.
I'm not entirely sure I remember this night so well.
but I do remember trying to beat the shit out of Chloe with a plunger because she drunkenly broke in on me while I was drunkenly trying to pee.
I apologize for the snorkeling mask but you have to admit its a funny series of photos.
As you might be able to judge from the picture above: My feet were the last thing Chloe saw before I savagely beat her with the bacteria infested plunger.
I'm Fem. Super Mario.