(no subject)

[turtlesattackme]

yesterday i wrote matt a note, basically saying that he is confusing me, which he is, i gave him the note yesterday before he went to work and when he got off i was still at amandas because we got into cold case files, that show is awesome, so matt had to take me home, when we were in the car he said he would write me back, and then there was silence and then he said i never meant to lead you on but i just dont want a girlfriend.. talk about a stab in the face.. you know i was thinking guys (well most of them) are assholes.. why would a guy bother to talk to me and make out with me if he didnt like me, but then again he never said he didnt, but he doesnt want me as his girlfriend, which is cool, i understand, i guess, i think that whole "i dont want a girlfriend" thing is an excuse, if you dont like me tell me, im cool with it, although i have decided i wont even tell anyone i like them until i get into college, no point in trying to get a boyfriend, especially a relationship when im going to be leaving in the fall. its time for me to grow up and stop having these silly crushes. the right guy will come around eventually... i hope,

me and my grandma had a talk, i asked her if i could move out on my own (well with lacey)as soon as possible.. and they give me my social security check every month.. she said shes going to talk to my aunt, who could care less if i lived or died, i hope they give me my check because im going to move whether they like it or not and whether i have a check or not. im going to go crazy in this house.. im so sick and tired of feeling not wanted here. its pretty sad my friends love me more then my own family, or whats left of my "family"

i have to be at work at three..yippee....