the world has gone mad..or maybe its just me.
wow. so weird how things can change within a matter of days...im completely flawed by what to think at the moment...im crushing nerdly on two boys right now (& its not the boy in my previous entry) but they are so very different & so very wrong for me. i will proceed to mention the biggest pros & cons about both. they both are so incredibly funny & tall and good looking boys but the biggest con is that there my ex's best friends. WTF is wrong with me & finding myself always in these positions??! ugh. i hate it but they always are the best people to be around. the one guy im crushin is not really a 'crush' i just really like him bc we always "hate" on each other & like to tease one another, but its always fun. i just always seem to catch myself laughing a lot when i'm around him, which is good. and then the other boy is just my typical boy i would be into. tall, long wavy dark brown hair, plays the guitar, and sings amazingly. he's quite brilliant. & i have a crush on him, hard. and yes. you could maybe say its becuase we've been talkin lately a lot & i never really had any intentions or saw anything in him b'c i just always thought "he's eriks friend. stay away." you know? i dont know.
i'm confused. but he just sent me a message on my phone with a cover of him singing elliott smith -between the bars. my heart melted. first of all, i only told him about this song the other night!! & he already knew how to play the song & knew the lyrics, quite impressive huh? he also told me he would teach me how to play the guitar in exchange for mix tapes, of course i said fuck yes. i mean, really? & call me oblivious, but i dont even know if he is into me...i mean he obviously likes talking to me, he sends me pictures and texts me randomly & idk...i fall for it. i'm not a creeper i promise, i keep my distance. but, i'm really curious. i mean, last night i was a little bleh like "this will never work. we're two very different people." & i woke up this morning, nahh what i was i thinking? i felt like i was stupid for even having a crush, but i couldnt help but smile all day. & its not a smile i get everyday, its the smile like im in high school & ive found a crush that i cant wait to see wahts next..i havent felt that way in so long. it's different. i hope it is. but, what happens, happens.
i'm confused. but he just sent me a message on my phone with a cover of him singing elliott smith -between the bars. my heart melted. first of all, i only told him about this song the other night!! & he already knew how to play the song & knew the lyrics, quite impressive huh? he also told me he would teach me how to play the guitar in exchange for mix tapes, of course i said fuck yes. i mean, really? & call me oblivious, but i dont even know if he is into me...i mean he obviously likes talking to me, he sends me pictures and texts me randomly & idk...i fall for it. i'm not a creeper i promise, i keep my distance. but, i'm really curious. i mean, last night i was a little bleh like "this will never work. we're two very different people." & i woke up this morning, nahh what i was i thinking? i felt like i was stupid for even having a crush, but i couldnt help but smile all day. & its not a smile i get everyday, its the smile like im in high school & ive found a crush that i cant wait to see wahts next..i havent felt that way in so long. it's different. i hope it is. but, what happens, happens.