I choo-choo-choose not to make that choice yet
I was watching Tyra today, and before you say “Why the hell were you watching Tyra?” I would just like to say that I wouldn’t have watched it if it hadn’t been the show that was on when I turned on my TV and it hadn’t caught my attention, and I’m sure Tyra has some very relevant and valuable topics to add to whatever global discussion is on the table. Yeah, and I’m the queen of the world. Anyway, what caught my attention was the fact that she was talking about the choice to have children. To be fair I only watched five minutes of the show, but I think I saw enough to discuss it.
The interview I saw was a couple who both decided they didn’t want kids, much to their parent’s disappointment. I honestly felt bad for the woman on there because she said she knew she didn’t want to have kids when she was 10, but everyone told her she was too young and couldn’t possibly make that decision. This logic seemed to follow her everywhere too, at least according to her. She would go to doctors to try to get her tubes tied, and they would say that they don’t perform that operation for people this young if they don’t already have kids. The same thing happened to her husband, but he was at least able to find someone to give him a vasectomy.
It bothers me that 1. Everyone was basically telling her that her choice was wrong and 2. Her doctors were not allowing her the same rights that people with children have. I mean essentially this couple is doing planned parenthood in the sense that they don’t want any children at all. And good for them. I think they should be applauded for taking steps to ensure that they wont have an unwanted child. What I don’t understand is why people wont respect her choice. You respect the choice to not have dogs, you respect the choice to not buy houseplants, and you respect the choice to wear tights with shorts(that last one should be against the law but I’ll still respect that choice).
The big problem I see is not with personal disagreements, but with the medical ones. It brings up the issue of medical ethics. How far is a doctor allowed to go in the theory of medical advice? I think a doctor’s opinion is very valuable, especially since I know next to shit about most medical procedures, but I do not want my doctor’s personal beliefs or morals hindering anything that I might want. I have considered getting tubes tied to stop myself from having kids, because I don’t think I want kids. But then I found out what happens to you when you have your tubes tied(early menopause anyone?) and that turned me off from the whole idea. Also, I’m terrible at making decisions, so after some soul searching I’d like to keep my options open for a while.
My personal favorite is this little birth control plug thing that a doctor can insert and it’s supposed to prevent kids for about 5 years, but can be taken out at any time after. I saw the commercials and thought this was the best thing ever. Not only would I not have to worry about forgetting to take my birth control pills, but I wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to refill the prescription either! Genius! Oh, except for the fact that it’s only suggested for couples with children already. I didn’t really look into the why’s on that one, but I think that it would be excellent to market that one to 20 something women who are possibly in established relationships(married or not) who may not want to have kids for another 5 years or so. Hell, I’d be all over that one!
Also, and this is a side note that I just thought, but how come the majority of birth control for women is all prescription, how come men can’t take a pill that prevents active sperm or whatever. Again, I’m not a biologist or a doctor, but that sounds like a great plan to me.
Anyway, I just don’t get why you can’t have any of these options, especially the ones that aren’t permanent, if you haven’t already had children. In my opinion, as long as the person in question is of sound mind, has had every possible outcome of this explained to her, has the money, and it’s safe she should be able to have whatever done to her. Honestly, if both her and her husband decide down the line, after the procedure was done, which in there case one was already done, that they want kids, well, there is always adoption or various other options now.
And while we are on the subject of choice, let’s talk about the ultimate choice debate. Now this isn’t a pro-life or pro-abortion rant, this is a pro-choice one. Last night at the bar some friends and I got on this subject. Sarah was talking about how her and her fiancé have some opposing views on certain things, but they respect each other’s opinions. One of those was the subject of abortion. Her fiancé is pro-life and as Sarah said jokingly, she never wins the argument because he was unplanned. His theory is if his mom aborted him he wouldn’t be here. Well, aside from the argument that anyone, planned or unplanned can say the same thing, I gave the argument to look at it as it was his mom’s choice to have him. What if we lived in an extreme world where any pregnancy outside of marriage had to be terminated? I would like to think that the people who are fighting for the right to chose abortion would also be fighting for the right to choose that life. I know that’s extreme, and you’re all “Dana, that would never ever happen.” But I honestly think that’s a good perspective to put it in. Why should I have the choice of abortion? Because if I didn’t have the ability to choose life, I’d be fighting for that too.
Also, two new fashion entries! I really suggest this one because it puts facebook to shame, but this one is also good!
The interview I saw was a couple who both decided they didn’t want kids, much to their parent’s disappointment. I honestly felt bad for the woman on there because she said she knew she didn’t want to have kids when she was 10, but everyone told her she was too young and couldn’t possibly make that decision. This logic seemed to follow her everywhere too, at least according to her. She would go to doctors to try to get her tubes tied, and they would say that they don’t perform that operation for people this young if they don’t already have kids. The same thing happened to her husband, but he was at least able to find someone to give him a vasectomy.
It bothers me that 1. Everyone was basically telling her that her choice was wrong and 2. Her doctors were not allowing her the same rights that people with children have. I mean essentially this couple is doing planned parenthood in the sense that they don’t want any children at all. And good for them. I think they should be applauded for taking steps to ensure that they wont have an unwanted child. What I don’t understand is why people wont respect her choice. You respect the choice to not have dogs, you respect the choice to not buy houseplants, and you respect the choice to wear tights with shorts(that last one should be against the law but I’ll still respect that choice).
The big problem I see is not with personal disagreements, but with the medical ones. It brings up the issue of medical ethics. How far is a doctor allowed to go in the theory of medical advice? I think a doctor’s opinion is very valuable, especially since I know next to shit about most medical procedures, but I do not want my doctor’s personal beliefs or morals hindering anything that I might want. I have considered getting tubes tied to stop myself from having kids, because I don’t think I want kids. But then I found out what happens to you when you have your tubes tied(early menopause anyone?) and that turned me off from the whole idea. Also, I’m terrible at making decisions, so after some soul searching I’d like to keep my options open for a while.
My personal favorite is this little birth control plug thing that a doctor can insert and it’s supposed to prevent kids for about 5 years, but can be taken out at any time after. I saw the commercials and thought this was the best thing ever. Not only would I not have to worry about forgetting to take my birth control pills, but I wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to refill the prescription either! Genius! Oh, except for the fact that it’s only suggested for couples with children already. I didn’t really look into the why’s on that one, but I think that it would be excellent to market that one to 20 something women who are possibly in established relationships(married or not) who may not want to have kids for another 5 years or so. Hell, I’d be all over that one!
Also, and this is a side note that I just thought, but how come the majority of birth control for women is all prescription, how come men can’t take a pill that prevents active sperm or whatever. Again, I’m not a biologist or a doctor, but that sounds like a great plan to me.
Anyway, I just don’t get why you can’t have any of these options, especially the ones that aren’t permanent, if you haven’t already had children. In my opinion, as long as the person in question is of sound mind, has had every possible outcome of this explained to her, has the money, and it’s safe she should be able to have whatever done to her. Honestly, if both her and her husband decide down the line, after the procedure was done, which in there case one was already done, that they want kids, well, there is always adoption or various other options now.
And while we are on the subject of choice, let’s talk about the ultimate choice debate. Now this isn’t a pro-life or pro-abortion rant, this is a pro-choice one. Last night at the bar some friends and I got on this subject. Sarah was talking about how her and her fiancé have some opposing views on certain things, but they respect each other’s opinions. One of those was the subject of abortion. Her fiancé is pro-life and as Sarah said jokingly, she never wins the argument because he was unplanned. His theory is if his mom aborted him he wouldn’t be here. Well, aside from the argument that anyone, planned or unplanned can say the same thing, I gave the argument to look at it as it was his mom’s choice to have him. What if we lived in an extreme world where any pregnancy outside of marriage had to be terminated? I would like to think that the people who are fighting for the right to chose abortion would also be fighting for the right to choose that life. I know that’s extreme, and you’re all “Dana, that would never ever happen.” But I honestly think that’s a good perspective to put it in. Why should I have the choice of abortion? Because if I didn’t have the ability to choose life, I’d be fighting for that too.
Also, two new fashion entries! I really suggest this one because it puts facebook to shame, but this one is also good!