Memoirs of an OC - Story V, Chapter X

[turtlecrackers]

Quest, Ride &Kill 2
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Ride & Kill ~Part.2~
…
Lo and behold! The fic even I started to think was abandoned (again) hath returned! It's been nearly five months since the last chapter was posted, and all of a sudden, there's an update? Incredible! Well, then, let's dive in!

The chapter starts off in the NORTH SHAFT SIDE GALLERY of the abandoned mine, where it seems like someone is setting off party poppers with dull “PAN. PAN PAN PAN PAN.” sound effects.

No, of course not. It's the sound of guns somehow being fired from all over the area at Usopp and Franky. Usopp is dodging the bullets while digging into his bag after some ammunition to return the fire. He shoots, but because we have no idea where Lucky Luke Beagle is, he misses and has to quickly dodge another round of bullets shot at him from...somewhere. I'm still not sure where Lucky Beagle is, but the narration mentions that Usopp did not see him draw, so he's got to be somewhere around there.

Meanwhile, Franky is standing by on the sidelines, being very serious while he's thinking about whether or not he should go and help Usopp. He just can't believe that Lucky Beagle is faster than his shadow (while throwing a random “Don't fuck with us” in the middle of his dialogue,) however he realizes that “their enemy's speed [isn't] just pretense” in the very next sentence. Isn't that pointless?
He laughs to himself as he praises Usopp's ability to run away, while watching Usopp nimbly dodging all the bullets Lucky Beagle can fire at him.

Even the narration then goes “Back to the duel” and we're back in Usopp's head, I think. I'm not sure exactly what's going on in the duel, because until this point, it sounds like Lucky Beagle is rushing around the place faster than the eye can see, and shooting from different places. But now it seems like he's just standing there on the ground, and that he's moving his hands so fast that Usopp can't even see him draw his pistols.

Usopp talks to himself while pulling out a smokescreen pellet from out of his bag and setting it off. Lucky Beagle is somewhat confused about not being able to see, and Usopp takes the opportunity to shoot an exploding pellet upwards, arcing towards the spot where he remembers last seeing Lucky Beagle. The pellet explodes in green smoke as it comes down, breaking up the smokescreen. Once the green smoke clears off, it's revealed that Lucky Beagle really is lucky, because he doesn't seem to have been hurt at all by the attack.

In fact, he hasn't even moved from his spot since the duel started. You know what? I like this guy. He actually sounds like a decent villain this far. Anyway, Lucky Beagle decides that now is a good time to get serious. Sorry, I mean “Tim' to get s'rious...” of course. The e in time is already silent, authors! Damn. Wouldn't that be better if you wrote it “Time ter git serious...” or something like that? Don't just throw random apostrophes wherever you feel like it!

Usopp makes a run for it to get out of the way as Lucky Beagle starts shooting again, this time even faster and from “anywhere and nowhere at the same time” apparently without having to reload his two revolvers even once. Amazing.

Franky keeps watching this from the sidelines, where he's apparently completely safe from the flying bullets. He thinks about helping Usopp, but is held back because it seems like Usopp isn't panicking even though he's running for his life. Instead, Franky settles with calling out to Usopp that Lucky Beagle has to run out of bullets at one point or the other. Usopp thinks to himself that sure, that's what they're waiting for, but he thinks that there's something odd about the revolvers not running out yet.

Lucky Beagle doesn't seem the least bit worried. He says "Hum…. Is thut whut ya're thinkin'…?" (…) "S'rry but I j'st need to reload once…" began the robber with a faint provocative smirk, "… at th' end 'f th' episode."

The apostrophe abuse! It burns! You don't make the o in “of” silent, damn it! You take away the f! Like this: “at the end o' the episode” I don't think even the thickest of accents removes the vowel to keep the consonant like that! Same with “sorry” and “just”! Don't just remove the only vowel in the word! I don't care if English isn't your first or even second language. If you don't understand how to write accents, DON'T WRITE OUT ACCENTS! This mess is just painful to read!

But damn, this Beagle Boy seems pretty awesome, actually. It's cliché, of course, but for a villain in this story? He's pretty damn intimidating!

There's a moment of empty silence, and Franky is the first to voice his confusion about the word “episode” while raging in his head that it's impossible for a pair of revolvers to not run out of bullets. This same thought seems to have made Usopp completely freeze up, since there's no possible way he can win against a never-ending shower of bullets.

Lucky Beagle continues to shoot after this little interlude, and Usopp barely manages to dodge most of the bullets, but one ricochets off something and grazes his leg. He also drops an f-bomb for no reason in his thought-narration.

A ricocheted bullet digs itself into the ground right next to Franky's feet, and this makes him realize something about the path of the bullets. He looks around to find the places where the slug ricocheted off the walls and rock formations, wondering just where the bullet can have come from. He glances back at Lucky Beagle, and then makes to leave the area again.

Meanwhile, Usopp is having an inner struggle with one part of his mind begging him to run away, while another part tells him to stay and fight, and to not let his nakama down. This makes him stop running, and I have no idea why Lucky Beagle doesn't just shoot him. Instead, Lucky Beagle is surprised that Usopp isn't running around anymore.

Usopp grabs some ammunition from his bag, while... giving himself a peptalk, I guess. And... Oh, holy crap. He actually has the plant ammunition from the Boin Archipelago? Since when? This is the first time he has ever used them since the Straw Hats got back together! And how the hell did he get control over the plants in just two months?! It's bullshit, man!

Anyway, he pulls out three Pop Green seeds from his bag, and he seems to still have his old Kabuto slingshot instead of the upgraded Kuro Kabuto, He still shouldn't have the experience with the Pop Greens he gained during the two-year timeskip after just two months! Damn, authors, even if you want to use the timeskip powers, you can't just throw them in there!

Lucky Beagle has stopped firing shots wildly, and instead just shoots twice at Usopp. I guess that the reason Lucky Beagle was shooting a storm of bullets is because he can't fucking aim. Because one of the bullets completely miss Usopp, and the other just grazes his cheek while he's just standing there. But instead of running away, he shoots one of the green seeds at Lucky Beagle, who returns fire with both revolvers and manages to shoot down the seed before it hits him. The next moment, he's surrounded by fast-growing seaweed that ends up tangling up all the bullets he fires at it. I'm not sure why you would waste bullets by firing at a plant, but what do I know, right?

Usopp takes the opportunity to fire the two other Pop Greens at the ground at Lucky Beagle's feet, and they sprout into two gigantic Devil flytraps that attack the Beagle Boy. One of the plants eats Lucky Beagle in one gulp, while the other tries to fight it to get some food as well.
And... the battle is over just like that. Damn. It's Snuggles von Sweetykins all over again. An interesting villain attacks and is beaten in the same chapter.

But you know, we can't let Usopp have the glory for too long. Franky appears on a level above the duel area, where he has taken care of a bunch of guns that were floating in the air around the room. He needs to take some credit for taking out the guns, because without him, there was no way that Usopp would have made it out alive. Franky wonders to himself whether Lucky Beagle was a Devil Fruit user, but since you can't ask the guy who is being slowly digested by a plant, Franky just giggles to himself and jumps down to get back to Usopp.

Usopp is very proud of himself for managing to win this duel. I must say that it was pretty anticlimactic, to be honest. Just like with the battle against Snuggles, this guy came out of nowhere and -Boom- he's gone.

Anyway, Franky points out that if Usopp had an awesome weapon like the Pop Greens, why hasn't he used them before? It's a very good question, and Usopp stammers a bit, but before he can answer, the second plant that didn't get to eat Lucky Beagle manages to grab him and tries to eat him. Why the hell was he standing within reach of the plant in the first place?

Franky tells us that apparently Usopp doesn't have full control of the plants yet, but we all know better. Usopp wouldn't be stupid enough to shoot out two of the Devil flytrap plants when all he needed was one. This is contrived and a really stupid way to try to make it seem like of course it's impossible to get the experience he should have got over two years...

Anyway! Let's move on to the CANYON OF THE FORMER ELECTRICITY GENERATOR, where Chopper apparently has told Nami, Robin, and Fuu about a plan he has. Off screen, of course. We can't let the readers know what's going on just yet. The women all praise Chopper for the good idea, and Chopper does his Happy Dance on Fuu's head.

Apparently, the bison are still going around in circles beneath them... Wait. I thought the bison ran into the mines in the last chapter so that the Beagle Boy with the whistle could get away from them. What the hell are they still doing outside the mines, and why are they still stampeding in a circle? It seems like the Beagle Boy is still using the whistle, but I have no idea where he is, or why the whistle suddenly doesn't have any effect on Chopper, who was forced to transform into his different shapes when he heard the noise.

Ah, it turns out that he's somehow using Fuu's hair to cover his ears, by just hanging locks of it by the sides of his face. Because you know, that works. Wouldn't it be more effective to just stuff his ears into his hat?

Somehow, this completely ruins the order in which the plan Chopper himself thought out is supposed to be executed. Why? I have no idea. Robin points out that it'll work just as well if they just reverse the order in which the tasks were supposed to be done. We'll see about that.

While we were watching Usopp and Franky, Fuu gave Nami the skill-enhancing spell, which apparently is indicated by a “faint white light in shape of a luminous feather” in the palm of her hand. Why a feather? I have no idea. Let's just roll with it.

Nami takes out her Clima Tacts, and with an attack name I'm really not sure if it's canon or not ( “Cyclone Tempo: Controvento”,) she creates a strong wind that blows away the huge dust cloud created by the stampeding animals below. Seems like the Beagle Boy was still on the back of one of the bison while blowing that dog-whistle. Why the hell would the bison keep running around while the noise that is driving them crazy is right there in the middle of the herd? It makes no sense. They would want to get away from it!

Also, if we're to believe Robin, this move would have been done last. What good would it have done as a finishing move?

Once the Beagle Boy is in plain sight, Robin can now use her enhanced powers to... make one arm sprout from the Beagle Boy's shoulder to poke him and distract him while she takes the whistle and breaks it. Okay, that was... not very impressive, to be honest.

She then says “Clutch!” but there's no mention of her sprouting another arm or that she's attempting to break the guy's back, so I have no idea what's up with that. We're also told that the enhancement spell is making it so easy to keep flying and still sprout more limbs, which apparently was completely impossible an hour ago. An hour? How long have they been flying above the poor stampeding bison, anyway?

Nami lets the wind die, and the dust starts getting kicked up again since the bison haven't stopped their stampede just yet. She calls out for Chopper to do his part, and Fuu flies down into the cloud of dust, where Chopper then uses his Brain Point to find a weak spot in... the... cloud. I guess.
No, he's finding some kind of weak spot in the panicking herd below them. Because I guess that works.

He calls out once he's found a weakness, and Fuu drops him, putting a levitation spell on him as he falls. Because that weak spot is going to stay in the same place while the herd is running around in a panic, right? I don't know why they had to go into the dust cloud to do this.

Chopper checks for... more weak spots, I guess, and finally signals for the “main part” of their plan to begin. Which I guess would be the first thing, since they've apparently reversed the order in which to do each task? I don't think that whole thing about them reversing the order of the plan was even necessary to begin with...

Anyway, Chopper turns into his Guard Point, and thanks to the skill-enhancing spell, his fur can now grow to form a dense ball that is almost twenty meters in diameter. And I'm actually not going to whine about this being something he shouldn't have until after the timeskip, because it seems reasonable that with increased skill, he would be able to grow a lot larger like that, since it's a skill he has already had for a long time. So, no whining for me this time.

The bison are really surprised as they start to collide with Chopper's dense fur. I'm guessing that some of them were also crushed under him and ended up either suffocating or kicking and trampling each other to death... But let's not focus on that, because the herd has now come to a complete halt, which angers the Beagle Boy. I'm not sure why the heck he didn't try to do anything, or why he seems to not even have noticed that his enemies were trying to make a counter-attack.

Then it's time for me to whine about timeskip powers again, because Robin is able to form a complete clone of herself with her Devil Fruit power. This, I have a problem with. There is no way that Robin all of a sudden has all the knowledge and training to know how to make a perfect double of herself (including clothes), just by getting the skill-enhancing spell cast on her. The wings made of arms and the ability to create more limbs? Sure, let's go with that. But to make a double that can move around freely under Robin's control would take a lot of training and experimenting before she would be able to handle that. A spell is not enough to keep my disbelief suspended here!

Robin's clone bends the Beagle Boy's spine before creating a “growing column of duplicated hands” from... somewhere, to push him up into the sky, where Nami is waiting to deliver the final strike with her Thunder Bolt Tempo.

Fuu catches the piece of charcoal that used to be the Beagle Boy, and flies over to set him down on the ground next to Robin and Nami. After a while, when the bison herd has calmed down and are “procrastinating” in the canyon, Chopper comes to join the women, and he gushes over how cool Nami's attack was. Then they gush about how awesome Fuu's spell was, and for some reason, Fuu apologizes for making them all so awesomely strong. Robin expresses her surprise over being able to create her clone, since she hadn't thought she'd get to that level of experience until about two or three years of training. Fuu is depressed because:

O… of course… Well, I must be the only person on the Five Seas not knowing what to do with my Devil Fruit, it seems… Sob sob… And here I thought I had made some progress thinking about this supporting spell, but I guess I'm still far far away from everyone else, huh…

Fuu. You have the power to make limitless wishes. I don't even think you're limited to ten of them anymore. What the hell are you talking about? Is your imagination really that limited? Give that power to me, and I'll be the Pirate King within a year!

Nami pats Fuu's ass for a bit to make her feel better, by telling her that she wouldn't know what to do with a Devil Fruit if she had one. Sure. Who the hell buys this? That Nami, who managed to figure out how to use the Clima Tacts even better than what Usopp intended when he created them, wouldn't be able to figure out how to make the most out of a Devil Fruit power? Are you kidding me?

Fuu is all happy again, but she denies it because she shouldn't be happy about her actual progress because... it's evil or something. I dunno.

After a little while, the charcoal Beagle Boy comes back to life, only to find that he's tied up, and Nami is staring at him, trying to intimidate him into giving up information. However, this Beagle Boy has a bit more guts, and he refuses to tell them where the gold is, and after a bit, Nami loses her temper and knocks the guy out cold again.

Fuu suggests that maybe Chopper has some kind of truth serum for no reason that I can see. I don't know what good that would even do, even if they had some. The guy is clearly strong enough to not spill any information even when threatened by Nami, so you'd think he'd be strong enough to fight the truth serum. It's not a fool-proof method as far as I know, after all.

Even though Chopper clearly doesn't know what it is, Nami goes completely insane with greed and all but demands that Chopper give her this Wonder Drug so she can use it now and against future victims who may be hiding riches. Chopper finally shoots her down by telling her that there is no such thing as a drug that forces people to tell the truth.

Robin agrees and claims that not even the CP9 had access to anything like this. I have no idea why the fuck the CP9 would even need truth serum, when they'd just kill anyone who wouldn't do what they want, but let's just move on.

Fuu realizes that she made a mistake, and just plasters a grin on her face so that the others will think that everything is all right. Robin realizes that she's got to save Fuu's ass, so she starts talking to Nami about how Rob Lucci was awesome at interrogating people. Yeah, when he didn't kill them, I guess. Nami then regrets losing her temper and knocking the Beagle Boy out, and suggests that Robin should try getting the information out of the guy once he wakes up.

Robin, on the other hand, has a better idea.

I think it's about time I did some sporking. I can't recap this and make it justice.

A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER
"Why me….?"

I've been asking that question since I started reading this fic.

Fuu was on her knees, shaking of depression, frustration and embarrassment, while Chopper was patting her back asking her if she was hurt somewhere.

Why the hell would she be hurt? Why would he think she's hurt? Surely, he heard what Robin and Nami said to make her do this!

"Well, I had already thought about it, a couple of times since her power is quite practical for theatrical intervention…"

Yes, because it's all for show!

Nami calmly stated for Robin with a shared tone,

What kind of tone?

"But she's just too bad at lying, so we can't really pull a nice scary intimidating glare out of her…"

Yeah, Fuu couldn't startle a fainting goat.

"In that case, we just need her to be sincerely angry at her target, don't we…?" hinted Robin with a mysterious knowing smile.

That shouldn't be too hard. The girl's fuse is so short, you can't even see it with a microscope.

TILT.
Nami's expression tensed.

Even Nami is getting sick of people abusing the pinball game now.

"Are you talking about what we heard in the thief Den-Den-Mushi a while ago…?"

Er... What are you talking about? What did you hear over the Den Den Mushi? I don't remember hearing anything at all. Weirdly enough, we've never heard the other side of the conversation when the Beagle Boys have been talking over the Den Den Mushi.

she asked rhetorically with a mixture of concern and eager interest.

That did not sound like a rhetorical question to me.

"Indeed…" calmly answered Robin while holding the sleeping Den-Den-Mushi confiscated from the thief.

Poor little snail...

"But what if she doesn't react the way we expect…?" Nami tried, more to confirm that Robin was thinking the same way that she did than to get a real answer.

Well, the way that question is worded, you're still expecting an answer, aren't you?

"Well, you were the one to witness first-handed how she reacts when someone insults her nakamas…"

Yeah, we've all seen it. More yawn-inducing than threatening, if you ask me.

smiled Robin while referring to the infamous moment that had earned Fuu the respect of many in the crew, way before Marine Ford.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say. You scared the Marines witless by... glaring at them and slicing your wrists open on one of their swords. Scary.

What Robin didn't mention was that she also had fleeting personal memories about Fuu standing up for a little black-haired girl, even if the memory was more blurry than a dream.

I don't care. That plot was stupid, and why do you even bother bringing that up?

"Fine with me… besides, if it works, I have already thought about how to use this trick in a very profitable way in the future!" grinned Nami with a flash of Berries in her eyes.

So... You're going to force Fuu to scare people by... making the people talk smack about the Straw Hat-, and Whitebeard pirates?
Sure! Let's go with that!

I'm also interested in knowing what her limits are… thought Robin with a glance for the girl she had rarely seen angry.

This again. Look, I've already told you, “angry” isn't just the emotion where you're raging uncontrollably. Fuu gets angry a lot, so stop trying to tell me she doesn't.

A couple of minutes later, Fuu had joined them near the thief, knowing - or rather thinking she knew - what her job was.

Yeah, because as usual, no one actually tells her anything about their plans for her. Because they don't give a crap about her, other than that they want to use her powers for their own gain. Isn't friendship awesome?

A splash of water fell from a cloud created by Nami's ClimaTact, awaking the Beagle Boy.
"Arf, ugh… Cough!" mumbled the robber.

Instead of coughing, he just decided to mumble the word cough. Strange.

His eyes cautiously focused on the barrel of a silver revolver, a revolver held by a girl with white wings.

(Beagle Boy): Oh my god! It's a Sue! And a Sue-pistol!

I'm sorry, but why does she still have her wings out? She doesn't need them anymore, so why not take them down and stop wasting her precious energy?

"Sorry, but we are running out of time…"

What? Why would you be running out of time? I wasn't aware that this quest for the missing gold was timed.

declared Fuu with as much conviction as she could, her expression neutral but her tone betraying too much concern as far as Nami was concerned.

Concern for what? Is this about Fuu supposedly being a pacifist who would want to heal her enemies instead of focusing on her friends? Because then that's stupid too.

She pulled out the trigger of her silver gun slowly, each ticking of the cannon emphasizing the pressure, just how she had always seen the meanies doing in spies movies back in the real world.

Again, more evidence that Fuu has no real life experience outside movies. I mean, sure, reference movies all you want, but I was under the impression that normal guns don't really have more than one click when you pull back the hammer (not the trigger, damn it.)

The Beagle Boy clenched his teeth and glared back at Fuu, even if drops of cold sweat were betraying his fear.

DUDE! Why the hell is he afraid of her? He wasn't this afraid of Nami, who fried him with lightning! So why the hell is he suddenly afraid of this chick because she's got a gun? She's got no pokerface! That has been stated more than once! He would be able to see right through her that she doesn't really want to shoot him!

Robin noticed the flash of hesitation in Fuu's eyes in front of such a riposte, and she nodded at Nami, putting the real plan to execution.

Brrrrring out the pointy sticks of torture!

"You see…"Nami chimed in with a bored tone, holding on the Den-Den-Mushi nonchalantly, "We heard about everything…"

We sure as hell didn't. Did we? I don't remember anything. There's been a handful of mentions of Den Den Mushi being used, but not a single one has said anything that Fuu would be angry about.

TILT. Fuu reacted at this unexpected follow-up and gazed at Nami, but hopefully for her, the thief didn't see her hesitation as he had turned his head towards Nami too.
"Your little plan with the WhiteBeard's Pirates…" kept on Nami while shooting a knowing look at the thief, even if her whole speech was constructed for someone else.

What plan? What could the Whitebeard pirates possibly have to fear from the Beagle Boys?

TILT. Fuu's eyes had widened.
"Yes, we know about it…" chimed in Robin too, cornering the thief by stepping closer, "Do you really think you'll get away with something like this…?"

With WHAT? What are you talking about?

TILT. Fuu's body started trembling of worried potential outlooks.

... Of worried... what? What the fuck are you talking about now?

"Do you think you can just harm them in such a lowly way and walk away unhurt…?" pressed Nami with a serious tone.

That's just ridiculous! The Beagle Boys would not be able to lay one fingertip on Whitebeard and his fleet. You've got to pick more intimidating enemies if you want us to worry that they might do something to Whitebeard.

TILT. Fuu's breathing had stopped and her whole expression frozen.

This is such a wonderful overreaction. The mere mention that someone wants to somehow harm the Whitebeard fleet sends Fuu into blinding rage.

"J'st shut your trap, th's scum only wanted…" begun blurting out the thief, before an ominous feeling prevented him from speaking farther.
SNAP.
Nami and Robin crooked a smile at seeing their plan had worked.

But we don't get to see anything that happens because the authors probably realized that either they didn't have the skill to write out the scene, or that Fuu just isn't that scary.

A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER
"I'm so sorry…" was pitifully sulking Fuu,

STOP SULKING!

squatted on the ground in a shadowy depressed fashion, her wings havin now disappeared, even if a remnant of torn feathers could still be seen on the ground.

... Why? Why the fuck are her wings torn? Why are there still feathers on the ground if her wings aren't really made of real feathers?

Robin was patting Fuu's shoulder while comforting her she did well and that she won't judge her on her little 'snapping',

... I'm sorry.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, YOU WON'T “JUDGE” HER FOR “SNAPPING”? YOU WERE THE ONES WHO MADE HER DO IT!

… Oh, but good for you that you finally realized that “crack up” didn't mean what you thought it meant. Thanks for that.

while Chopper was trying to make the thief wake up, completely panicking that their prisoner had passed out again after having seen an angel turning dark.

So... The guy who could withstand Nami's threats without giving up any information promptly faints just by seeing Fuu... er... glare at him frostily? Right. Sure, I'll believe you. WHEN GIANT VIDEO DEN DEN MUSHI CAN FLY!

"Maybe we overdid it again…"

No, really?

sighed Nami while looking at Fuu mumbling on the side that she was really-sorry-and-didn't-do-it-on-purpose,

The whole damn plan was that she was going to do just that! What the hell did Nami and Robin tell her the plan was, anyway?!

and a quick glance way behind them for the rocky wall of the canyon that had turned into a freezing iceberg only made her pout more.

Oh, suck it up, you big baby! No one was hurt, damn it!

Kuroi Tenshi, indeed… smiled Robin with a shared glance for the one she was comforting, Just how much is she holding back, usually…?

I think that depends on how much of a Sue the authors plan to make of her.

"Tsk…" ranted Nami while giving a short kick at the 'victim' at her feet, "Chopper, forget about him. We'll just find another way to find our way to their hide-out…"

YES! Let's get on with the plot!

The little doctor looked at the thief, then at Fuu's discomfited-and-extremely-sorry face,

Shut up, pick up your stuff and let's GO!

then at Nami's angry-but-trying-not-to-take-it-off-on-her-nakamas face and built up his resolve.
"L… leave it to me!" he declared with a tone full of assurance.

I don't care, LET'S GO!

"Huh…?" wondered the three young women, a bit taken aback by the confident attitude of their usually scaredy-cat - correction: reindeer.

Fuck you, authors. Chopper has more guts than your stupid Sue.

A COUPLE MINUTES MORE LATER
Nami, Robin and Fuu were mounting some of the bulls who had turned into peaceful and helpful grass-lovers

They were already “peaceful grass-lovers”, they were just driven crazy by the whistle. Try to keep up, narration!

under Chopper energetic and patriotic discourse.

What? Patriotic? What?

"Wow…" marvelled Fuu at seeing their little nakamas had taken the lead and solved the problem so effectively.

Were there more than one “little nakama” in this group?

It's not that easy to ride on, but at slow pace it should be alright, I guess…

This from the girl who had no problem with the rowdy horse earlier in the fic. Remember that? Everyone had problems with the horses, except Fuu.

"This change of animal attitude reminds me of Surume…"

(Authors): LOOK! We've read the latest story arcs! We'll start mentioning the battle between Aokiji and Akainu, and Law becoming a Shichibukai when we get the chance!

Except that the goddamn Fishman island arc might not even have taken place, because things hadn't become so bad as it is after the timeskip in canon. It's not even sure they'd meet Surume once they got down under the water just months after the Marineford war.

This is the same problem as with the timeskip powers. You can't shorten the timeskip and still have everything happen as in canon in the background. It doesn't work like that! Besides, if Whitebeard is still alive, Big Mam can't have taken over Fishman island as her territory, which means that any conflict and plot points that came from her doing that are completely gone as well!

You are robbing Luffy of chances of being Totally Awesome! STOP IT!

sighed Nami with a drop of resigned sweat appearing on her temple, "I knew Luffy was a bad influence on him, tsk…"

What do you mean, bad? Luffy changed the wild and rampaging Kraken into a useful pet. How is that bad?

"Su… rume…?" Fuu paused while tilting her head on the side in a perplexed fashion.
"A very interesting meeting you missed, Fuu…" Robin specified with one of her mysterious smiles, "Senchou-san made some friends when we passed through Fishmen Island…"

Randomly. Although let's not go into it more.

"I see…" murmured Fuu, still curious about the 'friend' in question.
Surume… 'dried squid'…? Is it another of Luffy's weird nicknames…? Did he make friends with an octopus-fishman, I wonder…?

Shut up, Fuu. You are ruining the humor. Yes, of course he'd give it a nickname that has to do with food. Just... Let's just move on.

But Chopper's call interrupted her train of thoughts, that wouldn't in any case have brought her close enough to the truth of imagining her brother's hero befriending a Kraken.

Her imagination is just that limited, I guess.

"Let's go!" commanded Chopper, mounting a buffalo too.

Ew, Chopper! Don't do that!

And with the little reindeer taking the lead of the little heard towards the thieves hide-out, the buffalos graciously escorted the four pirates as a thanks to the little doctor for having ripped out the whip from the Beagle Boy.

What whip? I don't remember him using a whip. I remember him being tied up with a whip, but as far as I read, he didn't use the whip on the bison.

DURING THE MEANTIME, EL DORADO HIGH STREET

Er... Okay, let's go somewhere where the Straw Hat pirates aren't anywhere near.

"Everything went as planned…" was asserting a cow-boy lying back on a wooden wall,

He was lying on the wall? Is it Cowboy Spider-Man?

in the small confined alley separating two of the houses bordering the High Street, just in front of the Saloon.

Uh-huh... And why are we here? Who is this?

"I told you you could trust the performing skills of the best con-artist of El Dorado!"

... What?

grinned the cow-boy who had been the one to alert everyone, a few hours before, of the break-in in the Sheriff's office, with a pedantic pose.

Who? … OH. You mean that guy who delivered the last freaking line of chapter 6, and who never appeared again after that? You're seriously bringing him in as some kind of plot twist? I have no idea who this guy is, or why I should care that he's apparently a con-artist!

Who has he conned, and for what reason? At least tell me that much!

Also, “pedantic pose?”

"Nhahaha… Is that really something to be so proud of?" laughed another man whose outfit was more resembling the one of a pirate than the one of a cow-boy,

... Okay? And who is this?

"But I guess it comes quite in handy in our business…"

What business?! Pirate business? Are they supposed to be minions of Kaidou or something?

"So how about paying me the second half of my fees, hum?" offered the con-artist while holding out his hand with an impatient smile.

Fees? What were you paid to do? To alert people to that the gold was stolen so you could do... what, exactly?

"Sure, sure…" smirked the pirate before snapping his fingers.
Another man who had been silently standing back

ANOTHER guy I have no idea who he is! What the hell is going on here?

walked closer and pulled a small yet heavy-looking purse out of his inner pocket to hold it to his superior.

His... superior? Are they soldiers?

"Don't forget," warned the pirate when placing the purse in the cow-boy's hand, "That if you don't hold your tongue, it's not only this money but also your life you'll lose!"

Hold his tongue about WHAT?

"Sounds quite troublesome, oy…" suddenly chimed in a masculine voice from above, "And here we'd expected you to kindly divulge the whole complot to us…"

I'd be happy to just get some damn clue about who these guys are and why I'm supposed to CARE!

TILT.
"Wh… what?" reacted the men while briskly turning their head upward.
Sited on the wooden balcony of the adjacent house, a tall blond-haired man with a relaxed composure was watching over them, like a bird on his perch.

Get it? He's a phoenix. Ha ha.

"What if we say 'please'?" the blond man smirked with a confident expression.
"Da… damn it!" cursed the pirate at recognizing WhiteBeard's First Commander.

I was hoping it was Sanji, actually. I'm saddened by the lack of Mr. Prince in this chapter.

BAM. His precipitate U-turn came to a halt when he realised his attempt to escape had made his throat flirt with the thin sharp blade of a foil sword.

Is it made of tin foil? That's not going to last very long.

"Y… you are…" mumbled the pirate with cold sweat beading on his forehead at seeing the narrow glare the rufous-haired woman holding the foil was giving him.

Goddamn it, I was hoping we could forget about Anne the creepster.

"Someone who won't repeat 'please' twice…" threatened Anne with a calm and shadowy tone which gave goose bumps to the pirate.

*deadpan* Wow. What a scary threat. I think I'll have nightmares from the scary and horrifying imagery this sentence brings to mind.

"Oy oy…" chimed in the laughing voice of Marco who had jumped from the balcony down-to the narrow alley, closing down their clutch on the small group of complotters, "You'd better listen to her, as she never takes 'no' as an answer, heehee…"

Can we go back to the mines now? I don't really care about any of these characters or what's going on here.

Anne gave Marco a cunning glance for the hint,

What hint? And hint about what?

before focusing all her attention back on the man hanging at the edge of her blade.

So she took her attention off the guy? Why didn't he kill her when he had the chance?!

It was the moment the pirate subordinate chose to pull a dagger from under his vest before pouncing at Anne, but the only thing he saw before losing consciousness was the fleeting dance of blue flames.

Oh, he did try. Idiot. You attack her when she's distracted, not when she's turned back to focus on you! Better luck next time, moron.

"So, let's resume the talk, should we…?" smiled Anne for her interlocutor, while trusting her nakama for dealing with the rest of the group.

Er. What group? The pirate guy was charbroiled... or was that the guy who was standing back earlier? So there should only be two other guys in the alley. So... who is Anne talking to, and what group is Marco supposed to deal with?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

*pant pant*
Well, that's the chapter.

I don't know about you, but I'm annoyed with the serious lack of Sanji in this chapter. At least he's out actually doing something. While I'm glad we were shown someone other than Fuu being awesome for once, I'm still wondering what happened to Zoro, Ace, and Brook.

Not to mention that I really don't get why they're suddenly bringing out this con-artist character out of nowhere, when they've got Sheriff Surferdude who isn't doing anything at all at the moment. What is the point of this con-artist plot point? I don't know. Now I'm actually hoping for a new update, because this is goddamn confusing me. There better be a good explanation for this whenever they feel like posting another chapter.

But for now, see ya.

Onward to: Chapter 11
Back to: Chapter 9
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