Broken Clockwork: Chapter 4
Title: Broken Clockwork
Fandom: Infinite
Pairing: MyungGyu (Myungsoo x Sunggyu), OT7
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Myungsoo is sick and tired of his continuous and tiring schedules and wishes he no longer needs to deal with the life of an idol. But he realizes a little too late that he should be careful of what he wishes for as he wakes up ten years into the future, and Infinite is no longer together...
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3
Chapter 4
When Myungsoo gets back to the dorm, he sees everyone sprawled out on the living room floor sleeping. Sungjong is cuddling his Gyu Bear, Woohyun is using Sungjong’s belly as a pillow. Dongwoo is just sprawled on the floor, and his arm narrowly misses Howon’s face and is instead placed on Howon’s chest. Sungyeol’s long legs are draped over Howon’s legs. Sunggyu is hugging Myungsoo’s bamboo pillow, clinging onto it.
Sunggyu is sleeping closest to the door, so when Myungsoo walks through, he wakes up. He opens his eyes drowsily and smiles as soon as he realizes that Myungsoo came back. He pats the space next to him, inviting Myungsoo to lie down beside him, before going back to sleep.
Myungsoo takes out his phone and snaps a picture before laying himself down next to Sunggyu. The last thing Myungsoo sees before his eyes close is the small smile on their leader’s face.
---
After staring into space for what seemed like an eternity, Myungsoo finally gathered the courage to walk out of his room. The other members had left an hour ago, but Myungsoo felt so guilty that he didn’t want to face Sunggyu yet. Sunggyu, the one who had stood up for him and given him a second chance when the others had condemned him for mistakes he couldn’t even remember.
He twists the doorknob and walks out into the living room. Sunggyu is sitting on the sofa with ruffled hair, and Myungsoo guesses that his hands have been going through his hair over and over again. His eyes seem a little red, but Myungsoo is relieved that they show no signs of having had tears.
He smiles as he remembers how Sunggyu had never been one to cry. He was always the one who had been the other members’ support system, the backbone of Infinite.
“Myungsoo-ah, you’re awake. Do you want something to eat?”
“Hyung…I want to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
Myungsoo bites his lower lip as he wonders if he’s rushing into things. Then he remembers that he’s left things as they were for ten years already, and that if he waits any longer, nothing will be fixed.
“I…want to meet the other members. I want to apologize properly.”
Sunggyu sighs and looks at Myungsoo tiredly.
“I had a feeling you might’ve overheard. Woohyun can become terribly loud and obnoxious when he gets mad…as you might remember.”
Myungsoo smiles slightly at how time doesn’t change certain habits, regardless of how far people drift away from each other. He shrugs at Sunggyu, and refrains from making a comment.
Sunggyu pulls out a piece of paper and a pen.
“Okay, so getting the other members to forgive you might need some planning. I swear, it’ll be as hard as waging war. Are you sure you’re ready Kim Myungsoo?”
Myungsoo thinks about how lucky he is to have Kim Sunggyu on his side.
If only Sunggyu will stay with me, it doesn’t even matter if the other members completely forgive me or not.
“I’m ready.”
---
Myungsoo stares at the worn-down building, and wonders for the seventh time if this was the right address. Sunggyu had suggested that he talk to Dongwoo and Howon first - he had come to the conclusion that it would be much easier to get these two to actually talk to them. Dongwoo has always been a softhearted person, and Howon has always been very rigid.
It had always been fortunate that they came in a pair. Otherwise Myungsoo has no idea how he would be able to sort things out with Howon.
He lifts a trembling finger to the buzzer. He had originally pleaded with Sunggyu to go with him, but Sunggyu has shaken his head and said that it was for Myungsoo to do alone. All he can do is support him from the back and fill him in on some details. Myungsoo takes out his phone and quickly sends a text.
I’m going in now. Hyung~ wish me luck!
When the door opens, Myungsoo steps in with a trembling heart.
It’s hard trying to fix your mistakes, but it’s even harder fixing mistakes you don’t even remember making.
---
Truth be told, Myungsoo has always been a little intimidated by Howon’s stare and poker face. Dongwoo is equally as scary when he puts on his “cool” look and doesn’t smile at all.
Myungsoo feels a little like a five-year-old child who has done something wrong. He tries to sit up straight, and look them both in the eyes, but he feels his gaze falter a little bit.
“Why are you here?”
He flinches at Howon’s abrupt question, and clears his throat slightly. Sunggyu had rehearsed this all with him before, pretending to be Howon and Dongwoo. At the time it had seemed a little ridiculous, but Sunggyu was their leader after all. He knew them all better than he knew himself.
“When…I woke up and I didn’t see you guys by my side, I realized how stupid I’ve been. I didn’t remember anything when I woke up, and it was horrifying. 10 years, just gone. And suddenly being told that I not only lost my memories, but you guys too? It…I couldn’t stand it…”
Myungsoo actually starts to tear up - but even so, it is an improvement from before. He couldn’t make it past the second sentence before bursting into tears, and Sunggyu had held him close. But he had chastised him later on - if he couldn’t explain himself properly before breaking down, he would find himself on the doorstep after Howon kicks him out. And Dongwoo wouldn't stop Howon at all.
The taste of blood fills Myungsoo’s mouth as he bites his lip and closes his eyes to stop himself from crying. His hands shake a little as he relives the experience of waking up and finding out that Infinite had disbanded.
Suddenly he feels warmth, and he opens his eyes to see Dongwoo’s hand on his own. Dongwoo looks at him sympathetically.
“Myungsoo…we’re so sorry about what happened to you. But things between us…have changed.”
Myungsoo nods, not trusting his voice. A silence falls over the three of them. As Sunggyu predicted, Howon doesn’t speak at all when he finds himself weakening. Myungsoo sighs, and decides to try and fix things with the two rappers.
“Is there…anything I can do to fix things between us? What have I done before that was so terrible that you can’t even forgive me? Maybe…maybe if you told me, I’d be able to…”
Howon scoffs at Myungsoo’s suggestion, and Dongwoo smiles weakly. Howon just stares off at a wall. Dongwoo turns to look at Howon, but the younger of the two just ignores him. Dongwoo shakes his head slightly and looks at Myungsoo again.
“How much did you hear from Sunggyu-hyung?”
“Just a little bit…he was reluctant to go into too many details, but I know the gist of it.”
Howon mutters something that sounds like “Kim Sunggyu, you stupid fucking idiot,” but Myungsoo isn’t a hundred percent sure. Dongwoo frowns slightly before speaking.
“We had all tried individually to talk to you the night you first suggested disbanding. Sungjong went first, then myself, Howon, Woohyun, Sungyeol and then Sunggyu-hyung. All of us came out crying after talking to you with the exception of Sunggyu-hyung. But…Sunggyu’s story is not ours to tell. Howon do you want to explain to Myungsoo what happened?”
Howon glares at Dongwoo slightly, and the two share a long gaze that seems to speak volumes, a language Myungsoo can’t understand. Finally Howon seems to relent, but he refuses to meet Myungsoo’s gaze.
“I remember walking in, confident that I was going to be able to fix things, that I would be the one who would talk you out of it. But you were just staring me down coolly, as if I was just another reporter at a press conference. You wore that mask of yours. The fans could never tell when it was L or when it was Myungsoo, but we could. And you were talking to me as L, the cool ice-prince who never thought about others. You said some…pretty hurtful words that day, said that people like me were pulling you down and stopping you for reaching the top. I asked if that’s what you felt from the bottom of your heart, and you looked right through me like I wasn’t worth your time, and you replied that it was from the bottom of your heart. I asked how you could say that, believe that and do this to all of us after so long, but you just rolled your eyes at me and told me to get of your room. It was nearly our third anniversary, and the fifth year that we had known each other.”
Myungsoo wants to cover his ears, wants to just dissolve into the air and get taken away by the wind. Howon’s eyes are glazed over slightly, and Myungsoo wants to hug him and apologize a million times to ease the feeling of betrayal and hurt that still sting even ten years after it happened. But he knows it’s too soon to initiate any physical contact - Sunggyu had warned him that Howon wouldn’t appreciate it so soon - so he holds himself back.
“I’m so so so so sorry.”
“It’s too late for sorry.”
“Let me make it up to you.”
Howon finally lifts his head up.
“Myungsoo-ah, it’s nice to have you back…but it doesn’t change much. I forgive you for what happened if it makes you feel any better. I don’t know what triggered it exactly, and I’m sorry that it happened. But you’re apologizing to the wrong person. I’m not the one you need to make it up…”
“Howon, enough. Not our place to say it, remember? We promised him.”
“Whatever.”
Howon falls quiet again, and Myungsoo wonders what he could possibly mean. Had he offended someone else even more? He shudders to think how much more horrible it could be. A small cough from the side brings his attention back to Dongwoo who meets him with a small smile, but it worries Myungsoo as Dongwoo’s eyes were brimming with sadness.
“It’s my turn to tell a story. It’s not about that night though, it was right after we disbanded. It had been a month, and I wondered how you were doing. I asked the other five what was going on in your life, but no one knew. Most of us were all…somewhat preoccupied with another problem of ours, but it had suddenly occurred to me that we didn’t know how you were coping. For us, it was like we lost a limb; we couldn’t even imagine what it would’ve been like to lose six. So I called you time after time after time. But every single time, either it would be redirected, sent to your manager who would make up an excuse about how busy you were or you’d just cut the line completely. So one day, I went to visit your apartment - your mother had given me the address - and I rang the doorbell. But no one came out, so I just sat at your doorstep, waiting for you. At one point, I had fallen asleep, but the next thing I knew, you were standing right next to me, and you had called the guard to take me away. You claimed that I was unwanted, and that you didn’t appreciate having random people outside your apartment.” Dongwoo smiles bitterly at the memory. “I suddenly had turned from beloved hyung to an unwanted random person. It was the last time I tried to find you.”
Myungsoo places his head in his hands, and wonders how he could’ve ever been so cruel to Dongwoo. Dongwoo shifts and sits next to Myungsoo and places a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s okay Myungsoo. We have all made mistakes before. Sure, you fucked up a lot more than people normally do, but that’s okay. You’re back now. It might take a while, but I’m sure things will work out.”
“I just want to fix things. I want Infinite to be together again as a whole. I want to things to be okay between all of us.”
“That’s impossible. But there is one thing you can do that will make us, Sungyeol, Woohyun and Sungjong forgive you completely.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to figure it out.”
“You should see Nam Woohyun last if you’re planning on speaking to all of us though.” Howon suddenly cuts into the conversation. Dongwoo smiles and nods approvingly.
Myungsoo feels like he’s on the brink of kneeling down and begging them to tell him what he can do.
“What is it?” He is borderline whining. Howon grins at the desperation in Myungsoo’s voice.
“But that’ll ruin the game. We’ll forgive you if you do this one thing...without anyone else telling you what it is.”
---
Sunggyu stares at Myungsoo bewildered as he recounts what had happened with Howon and Dongwoo earlier that day. He shakes his head and gets up from the sofa and makes his way to the kitchen. He busies himself with food and knives, handling the food flawlessly.
Myungsoo stares at Sunggyu in shock as the potatoes are cut evenly into equal pieces effortlessly.
“When did you learn all that?”
“Ten years is a long time - the weirdest thing is that sometimes new hobbies develop. Hm. I actually have no idea what Dongwoo and Howon are referring to. I guess you’ll just have to talk to them more to figure all of this out.”
“Mhmm I suppose so.”
“What’s going on with your work?”
Myungsoo falls quiet.
“I called my manager today - he said that I need to go to visit the President tomorrow.”
“That’s good. You shouldn’t slack off with work just because you lost your memory. Buy some expensive presents and say that you’re sorry for all the trouble you’ve caused.”
Sunggyu raises an eyebrow at Myungsoo when he doesn’t reply. Myungsoo stares at Sunggyu with a bewildered expression.
“But...how am I supposed to go there when I don’t remember what company I’m with?”
---
A/N: Sorry for a long wait for this chapter! Also, I haven't read through it at all and it's 2am so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes in this. Comments are love~~