Organized Chaos (Seventeen)
Title: Organized Chaos
Author: Sunny
Pairing: Jack Barakat/ OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Yes. You're scared. And, I mean, you should be. I'm telling you that I'm going to be forcing you to face your fears. And that's fucking scary. But what I'm also saying is that I'm going to help you through it. So it's going to be fucking scary, but I'm going to be right there with you helping you through it...okay?” Jack felt calm and relaxed. He regularly felt that way around Wyatt, especially in the wee hours of the morning. “So?” Jack asked. “You up for it?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Sunny and I do own all members of Hyperinflated Illuminations. Thank you.
Warnings: Obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, alcoholism
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/57389.html
Vina woke her own self up the next morning. She was exhausted, like she was every day, but she made her way to the bathroom with her loose, summer dress hanging from her tired fingers. Her whole body ached and her stomach growled, but she focused on the chub in her cheeks; the fat on her hips. She shook her head and washed her face. She applied makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes and then slipped out of the fleece pyjamas she wore to bed. Even on hot summer nights, she froze at night. She ran a baby wipe across her skin, cleaning it quickly, then stepped into the dress. It hung off her, but that was the style. She closed her eyes for several seconds, composing herself, then she left the washroom and walking into the front of the bus.
Wyatt was sitting at the table, drinking a steaming cup of milk and reading the cartoons from the newspaper. He smiled at her and chuckled at a comic.
“I'm going to go to catering,” Vina spoke up.
Wyatt looked up again. “Really? That's great. Want me to come with you?” He was already folding the newspaper up.
“No, no. I'll go by myself. I kind of want to be alone for a bit. But we can have lunch together?” Vina asked.
“Sure!” Wyatt grinned, opening up the newspaper again as she slipped on a pair of heels, squared her shoulders and slipped off the bus.
Although she saw the flaws in herself, others saw her as a confident bassist and she wasn't giving that up. She was halfway to catering when someone bumped her hip and almost sent her flying. She stumbled, righted herself then turned to see who had been so rude to nearly knock her over. She was wearing heels. They should know better.
“Hey, how's it goin'?” Alex Gaskarth stood beside her, grinning like they were old friends.
Vina blinked at him, sent him a scoff and picked up her pace on her way to catering. She didn't want to talk to that lunatic. He has spoken to her for an entire plane ride, and that wasn't exactly a walk in the park. She had put her iPod on and everything to give him the hint. He just asked her what she was listening to.
Her heels clicked as she walked, letting off a quick, staccato beat with the steps she took. Hoisting her purse up onto her shoulder, she stepped into the catering tent, smiling at the man at the entrance and glancing around the large area. There weren't many people there, enough to be eating breakfast, but enough that she knew many other band members and their crew were still sleeping. She took note of the time by glancing at her left wrist where her watch was. She could sleep past nine in the morning without people noticing her absence. She nodded and headed to the line.
Alex didn't catch up to her until she was in line and already had several small pieces of fruit on her plate. She was humming and pointedly ignored him until he spoke up.
“What's wrong with you?” he asked her.
She shot him a look and grabbed a glass of water. Water hydrated without the extra calories. She knew Wyatt wouldn't want her to be doing that, but it was an impulse. One she couldn't ignore.
“Doesn't Wyatt always make you have juice?” Alex tried for some conversation again.
“Listen you,” she spoke up, “we aren't friends. You can't tell me what I cannot drink and you definitely shouldn't be walking about and practically pushing people over on a perfectly good morning, you arrogant prick. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to eat in peace without your sorry excuse for a man bothering me.”
“Whoa, what crawled up your ass and died?” Alex retorted, anger flaring. He tried to hold back his anger, but the look on her face had it bubbling.
Vina glared at him. “Jokes about death are not funny!” she turned on her heel and stalked toward a table. Death jokes, racist jokes, feminist jokes, gay jokes. They all irritated the hell out of her. The empathetic side of her wanted everyone to be accepted.
She popped pieces of apple into her mouth and chewed. Apples; another thing she shouldn't be eating since it was a negative calorie food. She didn't care, she had bananas and cantaloupe on her plate still, and a piece of toast. She was just about to pull out her notebook when Alex spoke up again.
“No, being a bitch isn't funny!” he called across the room, “eating basically nothing isn't helping with your weight problem either.”
Vina nearly choked on the food in her mouth. She swallowed and slowly turned around to look at the man, glaring at him.
“You just crossed a line,” she shoved her food away from her and stood up. She composed her face, grabbed her purse off the ground and quickly left the catering tent.
“What? Can't uphold your own argument?” he called, running after her.
She picked up her pace even more, scared the tears were going to fall free from her eyes and streak down her face, ruining her makeup and alerting Alex to the fact that he made her cry. She knew not to let bullies see she was crying, it only egged them on. She was practically running when she got to the bus. She felt weak, fat, and most of all, completely and utterly ugly.
“VINA!” Alex called angrily. “I'm talking to you!”
“DON'T TALK TO ME!” she screamed back, and scrambled onto the bus, slamming the door behind her.
Wyatt was washing his mug and looked over at her. “What's going on?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she blubbered out.
Wyatt dropped his dishes in the sink, dried off his hand and walked over to her, a look of concern on his face. “What's wrong?” he asked her.
“Nothing!” she insisted.
“What happened? Vina, please!” Wyatt begged.
“Knock, knock!” Jack peeked his head in. His voice caused Vina to let out a soft scream and jump. Wyatt immediately wrapped his arms around her.
“It's not a good time Jack, I'll see you later,” Wyatt insisted. He saw the saddened look cross Jack's face, but it was quickly disguised with a smile.
“Sure...call me.”
“Vina. What happened?”
“I just...I need. Where's the scale?!” she burst out at him.
“Vina, you know we don't have one of those on the bus,” Wyatt told her softly.
“Just...leave me alone. Go be with Jack,” she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
“Vina?!” Wyatt called out, gently knocking on the door.
She let out a silent sob and leaned over the toilet. She needed to get that one slice of apple out of her. Immediately. The tears pricked her eyes as she pressed her finger to the back of her throat. Gagging, small white chunks and stomach acid finally left her body. She cried in relief. She could survive off of water. That extra weight she had would be gone. She could get the chub out of her cheeks and her thighs. She would do it.
♠ ♠ ♠Physical exhaustion is a side-effect of not eating.
Author: Sunny
Pairing: Jack Barakat/ OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Yes. You're scared. And, I mean, you should be. I'm telling you that I'm going to be forcing you to face your fears. And that's fucking scary. But what I'm also saying is that I'm going to help you through it. So it's going to be fucking scary, but I'm going to be right there with you helping you through it...okay?” Jack felt calm and relaxed. He regularly felt that way around Wyatt, especially in the wee hours of the morning. “So?” Jack asked. “You up for it?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Sunny and I do own all members of Hyperinflated Illuminations. Thank you.
Warnings: Obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, alcoholism
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/57389.html
Vina woke her own self up the next morning. She was exhausted, like she was every day, but she made her way to the bathroom with her loose, summer dress hanging from her tired fingers. Her whole body ached and her stomach growled, but she focused on the chub in her cheeks; the fat on her hips. She shook her head and washed her face. She applied makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes and then slipped out of the fleece pyjamas she wore to bed. Even on hot summer nights, she froze at night. She ran a baby wipe across her skin, cleaning it quickly, then stepped into the dress. It hung off her, but that was the style. She closed her eyes for several seconds, composing herself, then she left the washroom and walking into the front of the bus.
Wyatt was sitting at the table, drinking a steaming cup of milk and reading the cartoons from the newspaper. He smiled at her and chuckled at a comic.
“I'm going to go to catering,” Vina spoke up.
Wyatt looked up again. “Really? That's great. Want me to come with you?” He was already folding the newspaper up.
“No, no. I'll go by myself. I kind of want to be alone for a bit. But we can have lunch together?” Vina asked.
“Sure!” Wyatt grinned, opening up the newspaper again as she slipped on a pair of heels, squared her shoulders and slipped off the bus.
Although she saw the flaws in herself, others saw her as a confident bassist and she wasn't giving that up. She was halfway to catering when someone bumped her hip and almost sent her flying. She stumbled, righted herself then turned to see who had been so rude to nearly knock her over. She was wearing heels. They should know better.
“Hey, how's it goin'?” Alex Gaskarth stood beside her, grinning like they were old friends.
Vina blinked at him, sent him a scoff and picked up her pace on her way to catering. She didn't want to talk to that lunatic. He has spoken to her for an entire plane ride, and that wasn't exactly a walk in the park. She had put her iPod on and everything to give him the hint. He just asked her what she was listening to.
Her heels clicked as she walked, letting off a quick, staccato beat with the steps she took. Hoisting her purse up onto her shoulder, she stepped into the catering tent, smiling at the man at the entrance and glancing around the large area. There weren't many people there, enough to be eating breakfast, but enough that she knew many other band members and their crew were still sleeping. She took note of the time by glancing at her left wrist where her watch was. She could sleep past nine in the morning without people noticing her absence. She nodded and headed to the line.
Alex didn't catch up to her until she was in line and already had several small pieces of fruit on her plate. She was humming and pointedly ignored him until he spoke up.
“What's wrong with you?” he asked her.
She shot him a look and grabbed a glass of water. Water hydrated without the extra calories. She knew Wyatt wouldn't want her to be doing that, but it was an impulse. One she couldn't ignore.
“Doesn't Wyatt always make you have juice?” Alex tried for some conversation again.
“Listen you,” she spoke up, “we aren't friends. You can't tell me what I cannot drink and you definitely shouldn't be walking about and practically pushing people over on a perfectly good morning, you arrogant prick. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to eat in peace without your sorry excuse for a man bothering me.”
“Whoa, what crawled up your ass and died?” Alex retorted, anger flaring. He tried to hold back his anger, but the look on her face had it bubbling.
Vina glared at him. “Jokes about death are not funny!” she turned on her heel and stalked toward a table. Death jokes, racist jokes, feminist jokes, gay jokes. They all irritated the hell out of her. The empathetic side of her wanted everyone to be accepted.
She popped pieces of apple into her mouth and chewed. Apples; another thing she shouldn't be eating since it was a negative calorie food. She didn't care, she had bananas and cantaloupe on her plate still, and a piece of toast. She was just about to pull out her notebook when Alex spoke up again.
“No, being a bitch isn't funny!” he called across the room, “eating basically nothing isn't helping with your weight problem either.”
Vina nearly choked on the food in her mouth. She swallowed and slowly turned around to look at the man, glaring at him.
“You just crossed a line,” she shoved her food away from her and stood up. She composed her face, grabbed her purse off the ground and quickly left the catering tent.
“What? Can't uphold your own argument?” he called, running after her.
She picked up her pace even more, scared the tears were going to fall free from her eyes and streak down her face, ruining her makeup and alerting Alex to the fact that he made her cry. She knew not to let bullies see she was crying, it only egged them on. She was practically running when she got to the bus. She felt weak, fat, and most of all, completely and utterly ugly.
“VINA!” Alex called angrily. “I'm talking to you!”
“DON'T TALK TO ME!” she screamed back, and scrambled onto the bus, slamming the door behind her.
Wyatt was washing his mug and looked over at her. “What's going on?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she blubbered out.
Wyatt dropped his dishes in the sink, dried off his hand and walked over to her, a look of concern on his face. “What's wrong?” he asked her.
“Nothing!” she insisted.
“What happened? Vina, please!” Wyatt begged.
“Knock, knock!” Jack peeked his head in. His voice caused Vina to let out a soft scream and jump. Wyatt immediately wrapped his arms around her.
“It's not a good time Jack, I'll see you later,” Wyatt insisted. He saw the saddened look cross Jack's face, but it was quickly disguised with a smile.
“Sure...call me.”
“Vina. What happened?”
“I just...I need. Where's the scale?!” she burst out at him.
“Vina, you know we don't have one of those on the bus,” Wyatt told her softly.
“Just...leave me alone. Go be with Jack,” she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
“Vina?!” Wyatt called out, gently knocking on the door.
She let out a silent sob and leaned over the toilet. She needed to get that one slice of apple out of her. Immediately. The tears pricked her eyes as she pressed her finger to the back of her throat. Gagging, small white chunks and stomach acid finally left her body. She cried in relief. She could survive off of water. That extra weight she had would be gone. She could get the chub out of her cheeks and her thighs. She would do it.
♠ ♠ ♠Physical exhaustion is a side-effect of not eating.