All Pretty and Petite (Twenty-Eight)
Title: All Pretty And Petite
Authors:
turnthepageover
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
POV: Jack
Summary: “Sometimes I just, I wish I was a girl, one just his type. Then we’d be perfect together, you know?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/36869.html
“I do not want to talk to him,” I said, looking out the window of the bus. I heard Rian and Matt both sigh as they sat across from me.
“Please, Jack,” Matt pleaded. “I know you’re mad, but you should really try to talk things out. This whole conflict isn’t getting resolved because you guys aren’t communicating.”
“I am not talking to him! Every time I do I walk away with a new fucking injury!” I exclaimed, looking at him with wide eyes. “He’s turned into a fucking psycho, Matt! That’s not my best friend anymore!”
“Jack, don’t say that,” Matt said with a sigh and I rolled my eyes.
“Jack, I will personally go get you whatever you want from Chipotle if you just try to talk to him,” Rian bargained and I rolled my eyes again.
“You can’t bribe me with Chipotle. Fuck you,” I answered and he sighed.
“What about Chik-Fil-A?”
“It’s Sunday,” I answered, glaring at him.
“What the fuck ever! I will go anywhere you want!” he offered and I shook my head.
“I am not talking to him,” I told them. “I don’t need to. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go rub some fucking Aloe on my chest because it hurts like a motherfucker after since a fucking psycho poured hot coffee all over me this morning.”
I stood up, going back to my bunk. I peeled my shirt off my chest, wincing as I tossed it onto the bunk. I peeled back my bandage off slowly, grabbing the bottle of aloe laying on the mattress.
“You okay, Jack?” I heard a familiar voice say, and I glared as I uncapped the aloe.
“M’fine,” I grunted, pouring the liquid onto my fingers and spreading it over my burn. I hissed, closing my eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said gently, and I snorted.
“Whatever, Alex,” I said, closing the bottle and replacing the bandage over my chest.
“You should put the aloe in the fridge. It’ll feel even better when you put it on,” he offered and I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I told him, closing the curtain of my bunk. “Go away.”
I walked to the front lounge, sitting down on the couch. I rested my head back, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the pain crawling over the right side of my chest.
“Alex, you have an interview,” I heard Matt say. “Are you almost ready?”
“Yeah,” he answered, voice timid. I almost felt bad for obviously hurting his feelings, but then I felt the stinging in my chest that reminded me why I shouldn’t.
***
“Where the fuck are my clothes?” I asked Matt, furrowing my eyebrows as I stood with a towel wrapped around my waist.
“Aren’t they in here?” he questioned, placing the pen behind his ear as he glanced around. “Shit, Colussy must have put them in the wrong room. Try the dressing room a couple doors down.”
I rolled my eyes, walking out of the door. I finally found one that was unlocked, stepping inside and seeing my clothes laid out on the counter. I walked further inside, seeing Alex and Rian sitting on the couch.
“I’m gonna head out and take a shower,” Rian said quickly, standing up when he saw me enter the room. I stared at him confused as he scurried towards the door.
“Why are you running awa-” I was cut off by the door slamming. “Rian!”
I went over, trying to open the door and finding it locked.
“What the hell?” I muttered, yanking on it. “Rian! What the fuck?!”
I turned around, looking at Alex, who was sitting on the couch awkwardly.
“Did you have something to do with this?! We’re locked in!” I yelled at him and he looked up, shaking his head. “Motherfucker!”
I pulled out my phone, dialing Rian’s number. He answered, and I had to refrain from screaming and blowing his eardrums out.
“What. The. Fuck?” I asked, gritting my teeth. “Come unlock this door right. fucking. now.”
“No,” Rian responded, and I could tell I was on speaker phone.
“Jack, neither of you are coming out of that room until you resolve your differences!” I heard Matt yell and I growled.
“What about the show? You can’t keep us in here,” I told them. “The fans will go crazy if we aren’t on stage.”
“Then I guess you guys better fucking get to it,” Matt answered.
“Look, Jack, everyone has agreed to this. So you need to get the fuck over yourself and talk to Alex,” Rian said and I huffed.
“You guys are fucking assholes. I hate you all. I just want you to know that,” I hissed before ending the call and throwing my phone onto the table.
I turned around, kicking the door.
“Jack, don’t do that,” Alex said, biting his nails. “You’re gonna break your foot.”
“What’s another fucking injury!” I exclaimed and he cringed, not looking up at me but keeping his eyes trained on his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered quietly, and I rolled my eyes.
I sat down on the other end of the couch, looking around the room. I looked over at Alex after a minute, seeing a tear roll down his cheek.
“Fuck,” I groaned, resting my head back against the couch. “Don’t cry.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled again. “Jack... I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” I told him, “even though you’re giving me so many damn reasons to.”
“You’re not exactly perfect yourself,” he muttered and I raised an eyebrow.
“At least I don’t go around punching you or throwing steaming hot coffee on you,” I said and he shook his head.
“Really? You think just because you haven’t physically hurt me means that you haven’t hurt me at all?” he demanded. “You broke my fucking heart, Jack!”
“Well I’m fucking sorry, Alex! What do you want me to do?!” I yelled.
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head.
“I tried, Alex,” I said. “I tried to take a chance with you and you pushed me away. You punched me. Why the fuck would I try again?”
“You didn’t take a chance with me, you fucking asshole! You used me! You were just trying to use me to get off because whatever girl you found at the bar didn’t want to come home with you! I’m not fucking stupid, Jack!”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” I exclaimed and he rolled his eyes.
“You came home with a number on your arm! Fuck you if you think I’m stupid enough not to know you were about to hook up with some girl! What happened, Jack? Did she laugh at your tiny dick?”
“Actually, we didn’t hook up because I couldn’t get my mind off you!” I yelled, not knowing where the words came from.
“Bullshit,” he answered.
“No, it’s not,” I said. “I-I didn’t know it last night, but that’s what stopped me. It didn’t feel right. And I just wanted to be back at the bus with you.”
“I don’t believe you,” he said and I scoffed.
“Of course you fucking don’t,” I said and he stared at me.
“Well how do you expect me to?! A few days ago you freaked out because I told you I loved you. You told me you couldn’t love me and then all of a sudden you wanna makeout with me? Can you really blame me, Jack? Honestly?” he asked and I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t blame me, Alex,” I said, glaring at him. “Don’t blame all of this on me! You sprung this all on me! I’m sorry I didn’t know how to react when you told me you loved me, okay?! I still don’t fucking know how to react because I’m so confused! K-kissing you was better than kissing any other girl! I felt- I felt like I was with Aly again! And this is all just so fucked up!”
“Aly doesn’t fucking exist!” he yelled, sitting up straighter. “I’m sick to fucking death of Aly!”
“I loved her!” I yelled back at him, feeling the anger bubbling under my skin.
“I am her!” he yelled back.
“No, you’re fucking not, you psycho! That’s impossible!” I yelled and he ran his fingers through his hair, huffing.
“I don’t know how to fucking convince you, Jack. I know it sounds so fucking crazy, but it’s true! You can ask Cass or Rian!”
“Why do you guys not want me to remember her? Why are you trying to convince me that she wasn’t fucking real?! I’m not crazy! I kissed her, and I held her, and I had fucking sex with her! There’s no way I fucking imaged that, Alex!”
“I’m not saying you imagined it!” he screamed, pulling his hair in frustration. “I’m telling you it was me!”
“That’s impossible!”
“No it’s fucking not!” he yelled.
“Then fucking prove it!”
“You took me out for coffee the first day we met!” he said and I looked at him, crossing my arms. “We went to Starbucks, and I didn’t want to hold your hand because mine were so fucking ridiculously sweaty. I had a Chair Frappuccino, and a red velvet whoopie pie. I told you that I was going to school, probably to become a nurse.”
He closed his eyes, and I looked at his concentrated face, memory flooding back to when I had first taken Aly out for coffee.
“You took me to the field on our first date, and we raced to the top of the hill. ‘You Be The Anchor’ played on the radio when you were driving me home,” he said, keeping his eyes squeezed shut as he rifled through his memory. “You took me a to fancy restaurant down on the docks for our second date. It was right after I dyed my hair. We had crab legs and red wine. And afterwards we went down to the beach, and we had our first kiss along the shore. ‘May met ‘Aly’ for the first time in line at Taco Bell. You brought me Ramen cups and red wine when you thought I was sick. You saved me from that creep at the bar. The first time we had sex was in your neighbor’s pool. You dedicated that Drake song to me at the club the night you told me you loved me-”
“How the fuck do you know all of those things? You weren’t around!” I exclaimed, seeing him frown.
“Yes I was,” he said, frowning. “I just didn’t look like this! I was small with big boobs and brown hair and-”
“What the fuck, Alex?” I asked. “This doesn’t make any fucking sense.”
“I know,” he answered. “I can’t explain it.”
“I’m so confused,” I said, putting my face in my hands.
He didn’t say anything, picking at his jeans.
“Did you mean it?” he asked after a few minutes of silence. “When you said you were in love with Aly?”
“Yeah,” I told him.
“So, knowing all of this, does that change your mind about what you said when I told you I’m in love with you?” he asked and I bit my lip.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“You still think you can’t be in love with me?” he asked and I bit my lip.
“I just don’t know,” I told him. “It’s different.”
“It’s not different. You fell in love with me as Aly! I’m the same person now, Jack,” he insisted, looking at me. “What the fuck’s the difference?”
“I’m not gay,” I said and he sighed.
“Maybe you aren’t!” he exclaimed. “You don’t have to be gay to be in love with me.”
“You’re a dude,” I told him, shaking my head.
“You’re fucking shallow,” he told me, shaking his own head. “And in denial.”
I didn’t answer him, watching him turn away from me. I watched him pull his phone out, scrolling through his contacts before calling someone.
“Rian, come unlock this fucking door,” he said, anger evident in his voice. “I don’t fucking care. This is going nowhere. Well it’s not fucking working, okay? Just come open the fucking door!”
He ended the phone call, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“Is he coming?” I asked him, not receiving an answer, or even acknowledgment. “So we’re not talking again?”
“What the fuck is the point of talking?!” he demanded, sitting up straight and looking at me. “We just go around in fucking circles!”
I didn’t answer, looking down at the floor.
“I can’t take this anymore, Jack,” he told me, shaking his head. “I just don’t wanna do this anymore. I’ve pretended to be something I’m not for so fucking long.”
“What are you saying, Alex?” I asked and he shook his head.
“I’m taking a break,” he told me. “We have two shows left, and then I’m leaving.”
“What are you saying?” I repeated, shaking my head.
“I think you know what I’m saying,” he said, glancing over when we heard the door open. He stood up, walking towards the door. I reached my hand out towards him, furrowing my brow.
“Alex,” I said, watching him walk away. “Alex!”
♠ ♠ ♠I'm not happy with this chapter.
I had higher expectations.
My head hurts now.
Authors:
turnthepageover
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
POV: Jack
Summary: “Sometimes I just, I wish I was a girl, one just his type. Then we’d be perfect together, you know?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/36869.html
“I do not want to talk to him,” I said, looking out the window of the bus. I heard Rian and Matt both sigh as they sat across from me.
“Please, Jack,” Matt pleaded. “I know you’re mad, but you should really try to talk things out. This whole conflict isn’t getting resolved because you guys aren’t communicating.”
“I am not talking to him! Every time I do I walk away with a new fucking injury!” I exclaimed, looking at him with wide eyes. “He’s turned into a fucking psycho, Matt! That’s not my best friend anymore!”
“Jack, don’t say that,” Matt said with a sigh and I rolled my eyes.
“Jack, I will personally go get you whatever you want from Chipotle if you just try to talk to him,” Rian bargained and I rolled my eyes again.
“You can’t bribe me with Chipotle. Fuck you,” I answered and he sighed.
“What about Chik-Fil-A?”
“It’s Sunday,” I answered, glaring at him.
“What the fuck ever! I will go anywhere you want!” he offered and I shook my head.
“I am not talking to him,” I told them. “I don’t need to. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go rub some fucking Aloe on my chest because it hurts like a motherfucker after since a fucking psycho poured hot coffee all over me this morning.”
I stood up, going back to my bunk. I peeled my shirt off my chest, wincing as I tossed it onto the bunk. I peeled back my bandage off slowly, grabbing the bottle of aloe laying on the mattress.
“You okay, Jack?” I heard a familiar voice say, and I glared as I uncapped the aloe.
“M’fine,” I grunted, pouring the liquid onto my fingers and spreading it over my burn. I hissed, closing my eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said gently, and I snorted.
“Whatever, Alex,” I said, closing the bottle and replacing the bandage over my chest.
“You should put the aloe in the fridge. It’ll feel even better when you put it on,” he offered and I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I told him, closing the curtain of my bunk. “Go away.”
I walked to the front lounge, sitting down on the couch. I rested my head back, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the pain crawling over the right side of my chest.
“Alex, you have an interview,” I heard Matt say. “Are you almost ready?”
“Yeah,” he answered, voice timid. I almost felt bad for obviously hurting his feelings, but then I felt the stinging in my chest that reminded me why I shouldn’t.
***
“Where the fuck are my clothes?” I asked Matt, furrowing my eyebrows as I stood with a towel wrapped around my waist.
“Aren’t they in here?” he questioned, placing the pen behind his ear as he glanced around. “Shit, Colussy must have put them in the wrong room. Try the dressing room a couple doors down.”
I rolled my eyes, walking out of the door. I finally found one that was unlocked, stepping inside and seeing my clothes laid out on the counter. I walked further inside, seeing Alex and Rian sitting on the couch.
“I’m gonna head out and take a shower,” Rian said quickly, standing up when he saw me enter the room. I stared at him confused as he scurried towards the door.
“Why are you running awa-” I was cut off by the door slamming. “Rian!”
I went over, trying to open the door and finding it locked.
“What the hell?” I muttered, yanking on it. “Rian! What the fuck?!”
I turned around, looking at Alex, who was sitting on the couch awkwardly.
“Did you have something to do with this?! We’re locked in!” I yelled at him and he looked up, shaking his head. “Motherfucker!”
I pulled out my phone, dialing Rian’s number. He answered, and I had to refrain from screaming and blowing his eardrums out.
“What. The. Fuck?” I asked, gritting my teeth. “Come unlock this door right. fucking. now.”
“No,” Rian responded, and I could tell I was on speaker phone.
“Jack, neither of you are coming out of that room until you resolve your differences!” I heard Matt yell and I growled.
“What about the show? You can’t keep us in here,” I told them. “The fans will go crazy if we aren’t on stage.”
“Then I guess you guys better fucking get to it,” Matt answered.
“Look, Jack, everyone has agreed to this. So you need to get the fuck over yourself and talk to Alex,” Rian said and I huffed.
“You guys are fucking assholes. I hate you all. I just want you to know that,” I hissed before ending the call and throwing my phone onto the table.
I turned around, kicking the door.
“Jack, don’t do that,” Alex said, biting his nails. “You’re gonna break your foot.”
“What’s another fucking injury!” I exclaimed and he cringed, not looking up at me but keeping his eyes trained on his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered quietly, and I rolled my eyes.
I sat down on the other end of the couch, looking around the room. I looked over at Alex after a minute, seeing a tear roll down his cheek.
“Fuck,” I groaned, resting my head back against the couch. “Don’t cry.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled again. “Jack... I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” I told him, “even though you’re giving me so many damn reasons to.”
“You’re not exactly perfect yourself,” he muttered and I raised an eyebrow.
“At least I don’t go around punching you or throwing steaming hot coffee on you,” I said and he shook his head.
“Really? You think just because you haven’t physically hurt me means that you haven’t hurt me at all?” he demanded. “You broke my fucking heart, Jack!”
“Well I’m fucking sorry, Alex! What do you want me to do?!” I yelled.
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head.
“I tried, Alex,” I said. “I tried to take a chance with you and you pushed me away. You punched me. Why the fuck would I try again?”
“You didn’t take a chance with me, you fucking asshole! You used me! You were just trying to use me to get off because whatever girl you found at the bar didn’t want to come home with you! I’m not fucking stupid, Jack!”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” I exclaimed and he rolled his eyes.
“You came home with a number on your arm! Fuck you if you think I’m stupid enough not to know you were about to hook up with some girl! What happened, Jack? Did she laugh at your tiny dick?”
“Actually, we didn’t hook up because I couldn’t get my mind off you!” I yelled, not knowing where the words came from.
“Bullshit,” he answered.
“No, it’s not,” I said. “I-I didn’t know it last night, but that’s what stopped me. It didn’t feel right. And I just wanted to be back at the bus with you.”
“I don’t believe you,” he said and I scoffed.
“Of course you fucking don’t,” I said and he stared at me.
“Well how do you expect me to?! A few days ago you freaked out because I told you I loved you. You told me you couldn’t love me and then all of a sudden you wanna makeout with me? Can you really blame me, Jack? Honestly?” he asked and I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t blame me, Alex,” I said, glaring at him. “Don’t blame all of this on me! You sprung this all on me! I’m sorry I didn’t know how to react when you told me you loved me, okay?! I still don’t fucking know how to react because I’m so confused! K-kissing you was better than kissing any other girl! I felt- I felt like I was with Aly again! And this is all just so fucked up!”
“Aly doesn’t fucking exist!” he yelled, sitting up straighter. “I’m sick to fucking death of Aly!”
“I loved her!” I yelled back at him, feeling the anger bubbling under my skin.
“I am her!” he yelled back.
“No, you’re fucking not, you psycho! That’s impossible!” I yelled and he ran his fingers through his hair, huffing.
“I don’t know how to fucking convince you, Jack. I know it sounds so fucking crazy, but it’s true! You can ask Cass or Rian!”
“Why do you guys not want me to remember her? Why are you trying to convince me that she wasn’t fucking real?! I’m not crazy! I kissed her, and I held her, and I had fucking sex with her! There’s no way I fucking imaged that, Alex!”
“I’m not saying you imagined it!” he screamed, pulling his hair in frustration. “I’m telling you it was me!”
“That’s impossible!”
“No it’s fucking not!” he yelled.
“Then fucking prove it!”
“You took me out for coffee the first day we met!” he said and I looked at him, crossing my arms. “We went to Starbucks, and I didn’t want to hold your hand because mine were so fucking ridiculously sweaty. I had a Chair Frappuccino, and a red velvet whoopie pie. I told you that I was going to school, probably to become a nurse.”
He closed his eyes, and I looked at his concentrated face, memory flooding back to when I had first taken Aly out for coffee.
“You took me to the field on our first date, and we raced to the top of the hill. ‘You Be The Anchor’ played on the radio when you were driving me home,” he said, keeping his eyes squeezed shut as he rifled through his memory. “You took me a to fancy restaurant down on the docks for our second date. It was right after I dyed my hair. We had crab legs and red wine. And afterwards we went down to the beach, and we had our first kiss along the shore. ‘May met ‘Aly’ for the first time in line at Taco Bell. You brought me Ramen cups and red wine when you thought I was sick. You saved me from that creep at the bar. The first time we had sex was in your neighbor’s pool. You dedicated that Drake song to me at the club the night you told me you loved me-”
“How the fuck do you know all of those things? You weren’t around!” I exclaimed, seeing him frown.
“Yes I was,” he said, frowning. “I just didn’t look like this! I was small with big boobs and brown hair and-”
“What the fuck, Alex?” I asked. “This doesn’t make any fucking sense.”
“I know,” he answered. “I can’t explain it.”
“I’m so confused,” I said, putting my face in my hands.
He didn’t say anything, picking at his jeans.
“Did you mean it?” he asked after a few minutes of silence. “When you said you were in love with Aly?”
“Yeah,” I told him.
“So, knowing all of this, does that change your mind about what you said when I told you I’m in love with you?” he asked and I bit my lip.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“You still think you can’t be in love with me?” he asked and I bit my lip.
“I just don’t know,” I told him. “It’s different.”
“It’s not different. You fell in love with me as Aly! I’m the same person now, Jack,” he insisted, looking at me. “What the fuck’s the difference?”
“I’m not gay,” I said and he sighed.
“Maybe you aren’t!” he exclaimed. “You don’t have to be gay to be in love with me.”
“You’re a dude,” I told him, shaking my head.
“You’re fucking shallow,” he told me, shaking his own head. “And in denial.”
I didn’t answer him, watching him turn away from me. I watched him pull his phone out, scrolling through his contacts before calling someone.
“Rian, come unlock this fucking door,” he said, anger evident in his voice. “I don’t fucking care. This is going nowhere. Well it’s not fucking working, okay? Just come open the fucking door!”
He ended the phone call, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“Is he coming?” I asked him, not receiving an answer, or even acknowledgment. “So we’re not talking again?”
“What the fuck is the point of talking?!” he demanded, sitting up straight and looking at me. “We just go around in fucking circles!”
I didn’t answer, looking down at the floor.
“I can’t take this anymore, Jack,” he told me, shaking his head. “I just don’t wanna do this anymore. I’ve pretended to be something I’m not for so fucking long.”
“What are you saying, Alex?” I asked and he shook his head.
“I’m taking a break,” he told me. “We have two shows left, and then I’m leaving.”
“What are you saying?” I repeated, shaking my head.
“I think you know what I’m saying,” he said, glancing over when we heard the door open. He stood up, walking towards the door. I reached my hand out towards him, furrowing my brow.
“Alex,” I said, watching him walk away. “Alex!”
♠ ♠ ♠I'm not happy with this chapter.
I had higher expectations.
My head hurts now.