(Untitled)

[turnthebadinme]

Serena couldn't listen to another minute of it, the bickering and the tale-bearing. Wrenching free of the scene, she took off down the hall. Things came to her in bits and pieces: she had to get away, she couldn't listen to them. It was a good thing she hadn't taken off her coat, that she still had her scarf. Dan and Blair. If it had been more than

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[renegade_reaper]

Beat'd been jus' hangin' out, really. He wasn't a real big fan of the snow, an' he found himself havin' less to do because of it. He was almost glad for the break when the door was knocked on, an' it didn't take him long to head over an' go see who it was.

"Hey," he said, not surprised at all to see it. 'Course, then he noticed how she was lookin', an' it didn't take long at all for him to look worried. "Somethin' wrong?"

[turnthebadinme]

The answer sounded bad even to her. Rather than explain just yet, Serena just walked in and leaned her head against his shoulder. Not yet ready to drop her grip on herself, so restless it was nearly an ache, she still felt the need to be close to him. Somehow Beat always seemed to calm her when she needed it. "Can I stay here?" she asked, closing her eyes. "Just - I can't deal with Blair right now. Please?"

[renegade_reaper]

Beat was a little startled, if only 'cause it wasn't real often he'd seen her like she was. He eased his arms 'round her as soon as she was close, if only to give her some kinda comfort.

"Told you, you're always welcome here," he said. He'd deal with what happened after she calmed down. "Long as you want. Come sit down with me, aight?"

[turnthebadinme]

Serena nodded, already more at peace as she pulled back enough to walk over and sit. She didn't want to think about it anymore, and focusing on him made that a little easier to do. Brushing her hair back over her shoulder, she tugged at the hem of her skirt.

"Thank you," she murmured, glancing over. "I'm sorry, I'm fine, I just -" She pressed her palm to her forehead a moment, closing her eyes tight and giving a quick shake of her head. "I don't know. I don't know what to think. Everybody was fighting and I couldn't take it."

[renegade_reaper]

Beat followed after her, sittin' down once she'd climbed up onto his bed. He still had no idea what was goin' on, an' nothin' she's said so far beyond there bein' fightin' an' it involved Blair really helped him in figurin' stuff out.

"You wanna talk?" he asked, figurin' he'd let the offer be there. He didn't want to make her say anythin' if it was private or somethin' between them.

[turnthebadinme]

Serena leaned against him, quiet as she tried to figure out whether or not she did. "Blair slept with Dan," she said finally. "And they hid it from all of us, but then Chuck found out and now he's furious, and..." She sighed. As much as it had angered her in the moment, now she'd had some time to calm down, the idea of Dan and Blair just bothered her. There were rules, lines that weren't to be crossed. "And she hates Dan. She's always hated him. Why would she sleep with someone she can't stand?"

It was out of the question to consider it some kind of revenge. Had it been that, Blair wouldn't have kept so quiet about it. As it was, it just didn't make any sense. Something was wrong here.

[renegade_reaper]

"Tha's messed up," he immediately said, eyebrows furrowin'. He didn't understand much 'bout them all 'sides the hiding part, which he figured was what she was most upset about. At least, that's what he was hopin'. He wasn't sure what he'd do if it were for some other reason. "Was it jus' the one time, or -?"

Maybe they were wasted or somethin', though he didn't suggest it outloud.

[turnthebadinme]

"I don't know," Serena said, sitting up a little. She closed her eyes tight and shook her head. "No, it was - it was once. Dan said it was the night of the masked ball and..." And Dan and Jenny and Blair had spent months pretending it hadn't happened. So Serena understood that was how things sometimes worked. She'd kept enough secrets herself, after all. She was keeping one for Jenny even now. She let out a ragged sigh, looking over. "It's just not like Blair. I mean, the secrets, yes, but not from me. Okay, sometimes from me, but... sex means a lot to her. She's always been so careful and particular about everything, but especially - it's just not like her to just fall into bed with someone, let alone a guy she can barely have a civil conversation with. And then to lie about it for months..."

[renegade_reaper]

"Well, maybe she ain't proud of it, an' that's why she didn't say?" he guessed. He knew as much as she did, much as he was tryin' to be helpful. Fastest way he could see was jus' askin' her herself, but he had a feelin' that ain't gonna be somethin' possible. Not yet, anyway.

[turnthebadinme]

With it all still fresh, it was hard to piece anything together, but the one thing Serena knew for sure was that it had been easier to be angry with the both of them. She was still furious with Dan. If anyone ought to have known better, it was him. When it came to Blair, though, she was beginning to worry. "She..." Serena bit her lip. There were some things she still couldn't tell even Beat. They weren't hers to tell. "She can be self-destructive," she said finally, her tone more measured now than it had been before. "And I thought we were past that. But if this is a sign that something's wrong..." Then Serena had let Blair suffer for two months without ever once noticing.

[renegade_reaper]

Beat knew that was the kinda stuff he shouldn't ask more 'bout. Blair was aight, but it wasn't like they were friends or anythin'. He got quiet for a moment after she spoke, before shruggin'.

"Oughta talk to her, then," he replied, not knowin' if it was really as easy as that. "Hide out here a little while, go back when things cool down. Worth a shot, anyway, I'm thinkin'."

[turnthebadinme]

It wasn't that simple, though. If it was something like that, some kind of relapse or a new form of that old problem, then there was no way Blair would just tell her, easy as that - especially not with how she'd just left things. "I walked out," she said, her voice falling almost to a whisper. "I said she didn't need me. I don't think she'll want to see me anytime soon." It seemed like it sometimes, though. Blair just kept going, and for all Serena tried to protect her, sometimes she still forgot Blair was far from indestructible.

[renegade_reaper]

"People say a lotta stuff they don't mean," he said, tryin' his best not to think of one of the last conversations he'd had with his sister. Ain't what they were talkin' 'bout, after all. "Wait a while, then go apologize. Worth a try, anyway. An' whatever you decide, you can stay here 'till things get fixed. Aight? So don't worry or nothin' 'bout that, at least."

That, at least, he knew he could offer without worryin' 'bout sayin' somethin' wrong. There was plenty of room for her to stick 'round as long as she needed.

[turnthebadinme]

Even if Serena wasn't yet ready to forgive Blair, the idea of Blair not forgiving her was still difficult. Leaning against Beat, she closed her eyes against the pinprick of impending tears, swallowing hard. She would think about it later. She couldn't deal with it now. Instead she nodded against his shoulder. "Okay," she said quietly. "Thank you. I really can't think of anywhere else I'd rather stay." There were other places, of course, but not many people she would have felt so comfortable with right then. She wasn't sure she believed this would be fixed anytime soon, but she'd figure it out as she went. "I really thought we were all done doing this stuff. Lying and hiding and sleeping around behind each other's backs and telling everyone's secrets."

[renegade_reaper]

He felt bad for her - ain't no doubt 'bout that. There wasn't much he could do, especially on a subject like that. Way she lived was way beyond how he'd lived his own, an' the only thing he could offer up was a break from that. He wasn't plannin' on doin' any kinda stuff like that to her, at least.

"Don't worry 'bout it," he said in response to her thanking him, his hand liftin' up to brush some hair from her face. "Things'll work out, yo. Probably oughta jus' relax now, though. Ain't gonna do no good worryin' when you can't do nothin' right now."

[turnthebadinme]

Looking over at him, she managed a small smile, sighing as she nodded. "I know," she said. "It's just hard not to worry. But after everything Blair and I've been through... we're not going to fall apart over Dan Humphrey." She rolled her eyes at the idea, almost playful, as much for Beat's benefit as her own. Dan wasn't worth the fuss, not when it came to this. She wanted that to be clear, but she wasn't about to get any closer to the issue if she could help it. It wasn't jealousy, not really. It was betrayal, but Blair had hardly been the first to deal that particular hand.

She leaned in closer, smile growing wider, self-deprecating, as she reached to lay a hand on his. "What would I do without you? I mean, other than act like the world is ending every other day."