(no subject)
Serena couldn't listen to another minute of it, the bickering and the tale-bearing. Wrenching free of the scene, she took off down the hall. Things came to her in bits and pieces: she had to get away, she couldn't listen to them. It was a good thing she hadn't taken off her coat, that she still had her scarf. Dan and Blair. If it had been more than once, she didn't want to know. She didn't want to know that it had happened at all. Things were easier when she just didn't know them. People in the rec room. She must have looked crazy or something, making her way out as quick as possible, upset in ways even she hadn't yet figured out. Jenny. Goddammit, Jenny. She'd been so insufferably calm. She'd told Chuck. How long had she known? Months. How many times had they talked without her telling? Why had she told?
It had been a long time since Serena had been on the other end of these things, but she knew a scheme when she saw one. She'd been that girl before, and she'd done it better, but this had been bad enough and when had sweet little Jenny Humphrey become that girl? Serena had never seen that in her before. Now it was all she could think about, so much better than considering Dan and Blair when every thought of either of them became a thought of both of them, turning her stomach. She threw the scarf around her neck and pulled her coat closer, heading out of the Compound into the cold. It took her by surprise, caught as she was in her thoughts, and she pressed gloved fingers to her mouth.
This wasn't supposed to happen. She couldn't think about it. She couldn't think about anything else. Dan and Blair. Blair and Dan. She'd thought they'd left all the drama in New York, that once Georgina had gone she'd been freed of all this. She'd thought that, if anyone would get that Dan was off-limits, it was Blair. She'd thought that, if something was wrong with Blair, she'd know. Instead she was the last to find out. When had that changed? When had everything changed?
There was no use in even trying to compose herself. She just brushed her hair back out of her face, blinking quickly to clear her eyes as she knocked at Beat's door. Of all the things she was thinking about, destination wasn't one of them; there just wasn't anywhere else she could imagine going. What she needed now was to be as far away from the rest of them as was humanly possible, but she still couldn't bear to be alone.
It had been a long time since Serena had been on the other end of these things, but she knew a scheme when she saw one. She'd been that girl before, and she'd done it better, but this had been bad enough and when had sweet little Jenny Humphrey become that girl? Serena had never seen that in her before. Now it was all she could think about, so much better than considering Dan and Blair when every thought of either of them became a thought of both of them, turning her stomach. She threw the scarf around her neck and pulled her coat closer, heading out of the Compound into the cold. It took her by surprise, caught as she was in her thoughts, and she pressed gloved fingers to her mouth.
This wasn't supposed to happen. She couldn't think about it. She couldn't think about anything else. Dan and Blair. Blair and Dan. She'd thought they'd left all the drama in New York, that once Georgina had gone she'd been freed of all this. She'd thought that, if anyone would get that Dan was off-limits, it was Blair. She'd thought that, if something was wrong with Blair, she'd know. Instead she was the last to find out. When had that changed? When had everything changed?
There was no use in even trying to compose herself. She just brushed her hair back out of her face, blinking quickly to clear her eyes as she knocked at Beat's door. Of all the things she was thinking about, destination wasn't one of them; there just wasn't anywhere else she could imagine going. What she needed now was to be as far away from the rest of them as was humanly possible, but she still couldn't bear to be alone.