if you're going to san francisco, be sure to wear a flower in your hair
I can't believe how rapidly my life is changing...everyday. It's almost depressing to think that just a few months ago, I was having just as much fun as I am now with different people and different experiences. And then to try to go back and think about a year ago even? Like it's bizarre. I dont want to graduate high school. I don't want to move on. I don't want to be faced with the inevitability of life: responsibility. I just want to be retarded so my mother can take care of me for all my years. She's probably die a lot sooner if that were the case; i mean i already drain her of everything she has and I'm not even retarded. Difficult, yes. Retarded, well...i'm not too sure anymore. No No, I'm not retarded. I'm insane. and thats for sure. Like I'm seeing and hearing things that aren't real and my mind is like what the fuck's going on? It ponders this not only because of my constant acid-like tendencies, but because I say i have my shit together, but do I? Is this what we call happy? I have fun all the time, and hang out with my friends, laugh, and i'm not depressed. Does that consitute happiness? Maybe I'm avoiding realizing that shit is not always okay. Shit is NOT GOOD. I am a person with feelings and emotions and I'm totally just letting someone rob me of recognizing that because I'm just blinded by heart. what the hell am I supposed to think with? My heart or my brain? or...whatevers left of it.