And the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all

[tubifugi]

I went to south sreet with no money the other day. I couldnt go in any of the stores I wanted to because I'd want to buy everything so badly. I need to get another job...but I think I should wait until the summer for a number of reasons. a) I have rehab three times a week b)I'm too lazy right now and I enjoy sponging off my mother c) i'll be able to work more hours in the summer. It will keep me out of trouble. I mean the...perhaps 4 months I worked at the diner I didnt get in basically any real trouble. I didnt go out everyday...I went to school, work, the home. And out on weekends. It was structured. Now it's just go to school and do whatever.

I feel like I've lost my group of friends. I havent hung out with andrew in such a long time...when just a few months ago he was over all the time with fran and jason and fi and ashley. I barely see them anymore, except for ashley because she goes to my school and fi because...well I neeeed to see fi. I might not see that kid for a very long time. I cant imagine what it's going to be like. everyone will realize how much they took him for granted.
Lately...I've been hanging out with some odd new people. I dont know about things right now. I feel very weird in my situation right now I fear I should be more upset than I actually am. there are too many things going on in my head and I dont quite know how to sort them all out.
I need a cigarette.