emo
Funny (well, not really) how so much can change in your life in just over a week. I was just getting settled, starting to feel better from the usually beginning of the semester blues I get, getting over summer drama and adjusting to living with Josh... and then the world decides to IMPLODE on me. It wont stop either. Mom's doing better now (she threw out her back something awful and I spent last weekend and the first half of this week jumping back and forth between Philly and Jersey trying to keep up with my work and take care of her while my Dad was in Utah visiting my brother) but the stress of dealing with it all and worrying about her is still hitting me hard. Then while I was home, I got two awful pieces of news. First I heard Linda Cosker died in a car accident. Lisa was my cousin's life-long babysitter, a close family friend. That was tough, she was a wonderful woman who I have many fond memories of from my childhood. Later, I heard about the execution of a Newtown police officer, and realized it was my friend, Brian Gregg. A wonderful man I met while working at the Irish Store. I remember talking to him about how he always dreamed of being a cop and just recently made that dreama reality. I admired him like no other. He always had a smile on his face, and he stood up for what was right. When Shawn had some trouble with the Newtown cops he did what he could to help, and even worked with many of the local store owners to get him as much help as possible (he got his license taken away for something unfair). He was a great guy, and I can't believe he's gone.
What makes losing him so much worse is knowing he has a wife and a newly adopted four year old son. I can't imagine what they are going through, what they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. It tests me and my beliefs too... seeing the shooter on the news saying he's not sorry for what he did, and knowing that the last words Brian heard before he died were "Die, Pig" is heartbreaking. I can't stop looking at the news story and replaying the video clips online. It will be a capital case. It hurts to think I don't condone the death penalty, because now more than ever I wish that I did. There is no question about who killed Brian.
After that everything else just seems trivial, but then the little things continue to pile up too and I just can't deal with them anymore. Megan emailed me... which... wow, I don't know what to think about that. I sent her a response... who knows where that will go. Then there's all this drama, coming back and breaking my heart on two fronts. And I know I won't have a respite from this for a while, and no down time what with homecoming then Tizzle's birthday, then Halloween. And of course there's the... what right do I have thoughts running through my head... I'm just not taking all of this very well.
People are back here now, so much for my quiet time...
What makes losing him so much worse is knowing he has a wife and a newly adopted four year old son. I can't imagine what they are going through, what they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. It tests me and my beliefs too... seeing the shooter on the news saying he's not sorry for what he did, and knowing that the last words Brian heard before he died were "Die, Pig" is heartbreaking. I can't stop looking at the news story and replaying the video clips online. It will be a capital case. It hurts to think I don't condone the death penalty, because now more than ever I wish that I did. There is no question about who killed Brian.
After that everything else just seems trivial, but then the little things continue to pile up too and I just can't deal with them anymore. Megan emailed me... which... wow, I don't know what to think about that. I sent her a response... who knows where that will go. Then there's all this drama, coming back and breaking my heart on two fronts. And I know I won't have a respite from this for a while, and no down time what with homecoming then Tizzle's birthday, then Halloween. And of course there's the... what right do I have thoughts running through my head... I'm just not taking all of this very well.
People are back here now, so much for my quiet time...