I pass the days eating bananas. What homework?

Oct 22, 2006 22:56



Dear Young Idiots Brigade;

You amuse me. Quite alot. The hobbits will be over with their rifles quite shortly. Please sit still - this won't take long. You've not much brains to blow out, after all. You're welcome to blindfolds if you'd like.

Dear "Author" [Blaire Sohma];

You're funny. Yes - I must admit to finding you invariably entertaining. In fact, I didn't even have to read your pitiful excuse of a fan fiction in order to get the most out of the money my parents pay for internet every month. You might've just been better off end it before I had to waste time to scroll down which I didn't do anyway. I'd like to congratulate you.

Now, I know critique benefits future writing processes, so I think I'll list for you, in labeled order, what you've done to make this experience enjoyable for me.

(1) In Japan, last names come before first names - the family is considered more important than the individual. Naruto is Japanese. Therefore, the fact that you're writing about his American twin is quite funny.

(2) You're funny. (If Sasuke owns Naruto, I can grow EurAsia out of my ass. And I can't. I've tried. ♥)

(3) I thought this was terrific - you make it sound as if Naruto or Sasuke would be a balanced characters without her. (Here's a hint, love: they wouldn't.) And besides, Sakure will always exist. There are two of her. (Like Russian dolls, only pinker.)

(4) You'd be insane too if you'd pushed your lover off a bridge for his eyes. ♥ (Itachi without the crazy is like Sasuke without the angst. It's so disfunctional - so impossible - that to even suggest it makes me roll on the floor laughing my ass off.)

(5) ...if you owned Gaara, he would've killed you by now. (Gaara submits to no one that is not Haku stronger than he is. And you're...well. Retarded. I'm doubting your capabilities here.)

(6) Your lack of creativity is quite stark. It's fascinating.

Yes, indeed - your sense of humour has not ceased to amaze me - so dry, so slap-stick! I like you onlynotreally and I think you should continue to write fics so that I can not read them.

Also, I think it would benefit you to know that you should also continue to mispell the word 'pedophile.' Otherwise, someone might think you're older than twelve. ♥

Sincerely,
Lady Lamb

PS: Your fic makes me go AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. Thankyou.

Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included.

One. I have really weird hair fetishes. I hate it when hair sticks out at odd angles, or doesn't lay flat, or is too big, or isn't parted perfectly. I keep a brush and hair supplies in the art room just so I can fix up my friends' hair every day. I cannot stand it if a person's hair doesn't look right. (And people seem to have weird obsessions with mine. I can't tell you how many friends I've made out of people who sit behind me and like to play with it.)

Two. I have listened to techno ever since I was little - my mother has been an aerobics instructor since before I was born, and I love it. Techno is teh bomb. Anything with a good, repetative beat usually gets me hooked. It helps me think.

Three. When I tell you something about my life, 87.9% (fake!precentage, but hell, you get the idea) of the time I am either grossly over exxagerating, or plain-making shit up because I want to have something to tell you.

Four. I am very, very, very picky. I'm getting better, but as things go, I really, really like things to be perfect - food needs to taste perfect, the clothing and hair has to be just right, or I'm miserable. It's a really stupid way to be. Like I said, I'm trying to grow out of it.

Five. I can usually find a way to understand where just about anyone is coming from. In the end, my goal is usually for everyone to just be happy. (I love laughing.)

Six. There are very few people who know about my underlying ANTISOCIALBITCHRAWR!ishness. I tend to keep it swept off to the side unless I've been around people too long, or if I'm really stressed. I'm not as social as you think I am.

Tag: chronophobe, bloodnblack, kimitora, saave, messer, charcoal_pirate. Have fun, you guys. >D

good day, tag, sam, kit, ahahaha, idiot, sex?, morgan, fog, ferret, meme, lmao, bridgett, six things, fuji, tag!, retard, author

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