(no subject)
Title: Friends with benefits
Pairing: Puck/Finn
Rating: M
Summary: The beginning was simple to mark. It started with a few beers, a break up and uncontrollable, raging hormones. Then Finn starts dating Rachel and that's the end. Or, at least they thought it was until Puck becomes alarmingly ill Puck/Finn Mpreg
Warnings; sex, Mpreg, mentions of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, and bondage. The first chapter will be fast as it's just set up to show you how the friends with benefits started.
Disclaimer: I don't own glee, yada, yada, this and that, you damn well know I don't.
"I wish I could stop this,
but you're hard to resist.
Cause all it takes is one kiss."
- The Sky Under The Sea
As Noah Puckerman walked home from Finn's he felt his body buzz a little with each step. Everything felt different now. Better, in some ways. He was more aware of his skin; especially where Finn's fingers and lips had touched him, leaving nothing but burning marks of pure desire behind. Like when he had wrapped his fingers around his and tentatively leant over the table, closing in the gap between their lips. It was all awkward and messy, but it was the damn sexiest thing he had ever seen, ever. Sexier than the view of Santana and Brittany getting at it in the janitor closet that one time after he had given Beth away and it was the only way they all knew how to cheer each other up. Sexier than when he watched Lauran trash that guy on the wrestling matt and straddle his waist at the end. Sexier than when he slept with the pristine, perfect little blond Christian Quinn.
He stopped in his tracks; because he realized that suddenly, the sexiest thing he had ever seen was from an inexperienced clumsily giant with the brain capacity of a thirteen year old and didn't know the first thing about sex. No, the sexist thing he had ever seen wasn't from Santana or Brittany, or from his respectable list of back-seat make-out sessions or under-the-bleachers sex or even from the numerous cougars he slept with. But no, the hottest thing he had ever seen was from his oldest friend, clumsy, gullible Finn Hudson.
Puck shook his head and laughed aloud, at himself, at Finn, at the completely surprising year it had been since starting school. From getting Beth back into his life to Quinn actually acting as if he existed again. He shook his head again to try and stop the spinning. He looked around and realized he was almost to the edge of the field he had been walking through. That put him closer to home and with this awareness his mood darkened.
No, he wasn't going home yet. He was enjoying the moment, and he was going to enjoy it for as long as it lasted. A good mood was rare these days when Beth wasn't around.
The next day was slow for Finn. He woke up at half seven, which was ten minutes before his alarm was due to go off. He spent the extra time laid in his bed, all four of his long limbs strengthen out, and staring at the ceiling as his brain still struggled with figuring out what had gone on between him and Puck yesterday.
He wasn't gay. He knew that. He couldn't be gay. He wasn't like Kurt or Blaine, he didn't want to be a Broadway star or ware the latest fashion. He didn't want to walk hand-in-hand down the street with Puck, no matter how warm and soft his hands were. He didn't want to serenade him or be serenaded to. He didn't want that. He wanted Rachel. He loved Rachel, not Puck. Puck was just a friend. Somebody who offered an easy release. A more entertaining and intoxicating release than searching for something half decent on the internet.
So, he knew he wasn't gay. Still, why was he noticing all those things about Puck before hand? He knew Puck had been with a guy before, it was only a few months and had started during the summer holidays, but did that mean Puck was gay? He had said it was only about getting off, not anything romantic...that it was all about who you fell for...But had Puck loved him? Or was it just about sex? He knew at one point Puck had been in love with Quinn, so that must have meant he was straight. Or why else would he have supported her the whole time?
Finn just had to remember that. Puck was straight, and so was he. He loved Rachel, and at one point Puck had loved Quinn and then Lauren. That just meant he just had to remember that fooling around with Puck meant nothing because they didn't love each other. It was all about the emotional attraction, not the physical one. Yeah, that was it. If Puck wanted to like the look of guys as well as girls he could. Just like Kurt was allowed to fall in love with guys, even if Finn and Puck didn't though they still messed around with them. That was right; it made sense to him now.
As Finn sat down at the dinner table his mom served him a full plate of waffles draped in honey and Finn concluded that what he was doing with Puck was absolutely fine and no harm would come to anybody. And that it was the best year yet.
By the time Finn needed to leave for school the butterflies of nerves where there. He had no idea about what to do, how to act. Would Puck expect him to pretend nothing happened, or would he want to talk about it? Was he going to act any differently today? Did he want it to be public? What if he told anyone and they asked him questioned? What was he supposed to say? Should Finn tell anyone? Would they tell them all individually or all as a group? How would he even go about telling them?
Finn sighed and rested his head against the window of Kurt's car. It was going to be a long day.
When he reached the school, the nerves where ten times worst, making him feel sick with stress. What the hell was he supposed to do? What was it Puck and Santana had done? He couldn't even remember and that had been different too. That was a status symbol.
He walked up to his locker with Kurt and after he grabbed his books out and closed the door, he glanced up the hallway, searching for Puck.
"Who are you looking for?" Kurt asked.
"Huh?" Finn looked back to see that Kurt had grabbed all his books and was waiting for an answer. "Oh, just somebody I meet on Saturday."
"Is she cute?"
"How do you know it's a girl?"
"Because you have been totally spaced out all day Finn, you must have a girl on your mind. Is she then?"
Finn smiled, almost sheepishly as his checks burned, "Yeah."
Kurt grinned. "Tell me about her, what is she like?"
"Well," Finn paused, trying to think of a way to describe Puck without making it sound obvious. "She, well, really is out of this world. Always says what's on hi-her mind. Most honest person I've ever meet."
Kurt raised an eye-brow at him, causing him to became nervous under the stare. "What?" he asked cautiously, leaning backwards.
"Nothing." He said simple then as the bell rang they both made their way to class together, sharing History.
Finn wasn't paying attention to Kurt because he had just spotted Puck with two other guys standing by a group of lockers on the other side of the hallway. Kurt tugged on Finn's sleeve, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Huh? Oh right, let's find Blaine." The only problem being that to get to Blaine's locker, they would have to pass by Puck.
As they approached him and the group he was with, Finn felt his chest tighten and he felt short of breath. His heart raced as they got even closer. He wasn't ready for this. He couldn't talk to him now. As he walked past him, he had to force himself not to meet his eyes, pretending that he didn't even notice Puck was there. And in a second, the feeling of nervousness was gone. He had passed him and nothing happened. He let out the breath he was holding and kept walking.
Puck was listening to something about the football game when he spotted Finn and Kurt. Finn was smiling and as he approached him, Puck willed for their eyes to meet. When Finn strolled past, seeming completely oblivious to him, he wondered if that meant Finn didn't want to carry on what they had, was that his answer now? But then, he thought hopefully, maybe he was so absorbed in his conversation he didn't notice him. He was unobservant.
But then again, who was he fooling, he thought. He had turned up to history only for Finn to act if he didn't exists. He shouldn't have been surprised really. It was him that had said they didn't talk about it. He had just hoped…Puck snorted at his own stupidity and brief naivety. He was being a fool. Nothing was every gonna happen between them. Never.
As the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch he ignored it, determined to finish his cigarette first. He hadn't showed up to a class since history that morning, but he did intend on going to Spanish before leaving. He just wasn't in the same buzzing mood he had been in yesterday and it had a feeling he wouldn't be for a long time now.
During the next month, the two boys spent numerous nights together sharing a bed. It was normally at Finn's house, as the pale boy knew how funny Puck's mother got some times when he brought friends over. Ruth wasn't the most friendly hostess and had said some really spiteful things before. He wasn't something he enjoyed hearing.
He had came to realize something though. That it was always him texting Puck to come over and not the other way around. Granted, Puck had asked about two times in the entire month, which Finn found strange, as Puck had been the one to initiate the whole new aspect to their friendship, yet he didn't seem to eager to exploit it. The first time Puck had invited himself over, and luckily, nobody was home because Kurt was out with Blaine and Burt and his mom had a meet and great so where staying closer to the who every they were meeting. Finn was feeling pretty shitty about himself already because of the scout, but for some reason he could tell that Puck needed him.
It had worked out pretty well anyway, Puck had never let lose like that before, not even the first time they had every had sex together. He just seemed to let everything out, impaling himself on Finn and rocking back and forth so Finn was slamming into him as hard as he could. Then after a mind-stopping orgasm, he was up and pulling on his jeans, like he was mad at something. He was in and out the house faster than Finn thought possible, especially when they had sex in between that time.
He did find that even though the benefits to their friendship was great, it was putting a stunt on their actual friendship. Puck didn't seem to really enjoy talking to him much anymore. He felt like he was keeping something from him, but couldn't work out what. He did need to find out soon though, he just needed the right opportunity to do it, he thought as he pulled on his jacket and headed off to school with Kurt.
During lunch that day, Finn kept one eye on Puck the whole time. He did a pretty good job until Santana and Puck went out for a cigarette and never came back. He needed to talk to him during Glee today though, no matter what. He didn't like feeling like Puck was hiding something from him. Last time that happened it turned out he had slept with Quinn.
He sat down at the front, where he normally sat during Glee and pulled his jacket closer to his body. It was late November and the weather had took a turn for the worse. It was broadcasted snow tomorrow and he wasn't looking forward to driving around.
Puck came in five minutes after and Finn watched him walk up the steps and slumped down, the whole time avoiding eye contact. What was wrong with him? Rachel was chatting away to the new boy Rory and Santana was speaking with Brittany, so Puck wasn't speaking at all. Again.
He was about to ask what was wrong when Mr. Schuester strolled in, his normal chipper facial expression on. Though it was becoming less common of late.
"Right guys," he announced, gaining all attention. "Sectionals is less than a fortnight away, and even though booty camp has done wonders for are dance routine we need more singers now Mercedes, Santana and Birt are gone. Puck, any luck on that?"
The group all glanced back to look at him and he shrugged, "I was talking to this guy but he hasn't really got back to me. My cousin is moving over in a few weeks too," he stopped there, leaving it open for interoperation.
Everybody looked back to the curly haired man, and as Finn turned his head to listen to what he was saying, he caught Rachel staring at him and froze. Why was she looking at him like that for? Like how she used to always look at him when they were dating. She didn't still like him, did she?
The small brunette smiled meekly and raised her hand to wave. Finn blinked and raised his own hand to wave back, all thoughts of Puck completely abolished from his mind from that simple interaction, causing hope to perk up in his chest.
On Monday morning, at half six, Puck was in bed longer than usual. He woke up to the sound of a loud crash from down stairs and the angry voices that were followed with it.
"I need those!" Puck heard his mother screamed.
"Of course you fucking do, you worthless junkie whore! Maybe you should worry more about the god damn mess in the kitchen than your fucking drugs!" Her boyfriend, John, yelled back.
Puck readjusted his headphones of his mp3 that had slipped off while he was sleeping and changed the CD.
"Why don't you just fucking leave? Get out! Get the fuck out!" his mother bellowed. Puck didn't hear anything after that because the sounds of AC/DC drowned them out.
Twenty minutes later, he emerged from his room, carrying his guitar. He saw that his mother was on the living room floor, slumped against the couch. John appeared to have left, for the time being. He always came back. It was the forth time in the last year he had been back. He thought about just slipping out through the back door, and letting his sister sort herself out today. She was thirteen now. It was always the worst part of his morning. Checking to see if his mother was still alive. Knowing he couldn't leave his sister to do that just incase she had overdosed, he decided against it. If that did happen he would never forgive himself.
Luckily for Puck, she groaned and her hand flopped listlessly to her side, indicating she was in fact still conscious. "Noah? Help me Noah." She mumbled, barely able to fully open her eyelids. Puck sat his guitar case down against the wall and went to her side to help her up on the couch. "It wasn't always like this you know." She slurred, her facial expression blank and her eyes dead.
"I know ma'." Puck said, his eyes dropping to the floor so he didn't have to look at her lifeless ones.
"We used to be happy." She mumbled, letting her head flop against the back of the couch laxly.
"Yeah," Puck said slowly. "I remember."
"Was a long time ago," she slurred. "Before the accident." She sighed, closing her eyes and shacking her head, as if to rid her self from the thoughts.
Puck swallowed hard, feeling his chest tighten tensely. "I know."
She turned to Noah suddenly, grabbing his wrist tightly with both her hands to stop him from leaving and asked, "Do you blame me?" Her voice was pleading, and it nearly broke his damn heart. he could see the tears in the bridge of her eyes, threatening to spill any second.
"No," he breathed out. Looking away from the sight again as he felt his own eyes burn with tears of guilt.
She smiled weakly and muttered a quick, "good," before rolling over to go back to sleep, as if nether of them had been on the verge of tears.
Well, if you got this far, the read must have been worth it...at least I hope. So, any comments, good, bad or as harsh as they may seem, i would really appreciate some construstive critism.