we become light, chapter eleven
Bathtime! ...This part of the fic doesn't really split well into chapters, does it. Oh well, we'll get to more exciting stuff soon :3
Title: We Become Light
Pairings: Nakai/Tsuyoshi, Kimura/Shingo/Goro
Rating: R for violence and swearing
Notes: Five men meet in a dystopian cyberpunk future to free their city from the Tower, with the help of motorcycle rebels, mysterious memories, and love.
Nakai was waiting for Shingo when he stepped out of the bathroom.
("And don't forget to bathe once in a while, too." Shingo wrinkled his nose. "I'm surprised the patrols didn't recognize you by your smell out there."
Kimura glowered at him, and shoved him towards the door.)
Shingo glanced into the living room; Tsuyoshi was animatedly chattering away to Inagaki, who looked faintly overwhelmed. Nakai leaned forward, his voice low.
"Um-- I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to speak for everyone like that." He looked down guiltily. "You don't have to help him if you don't want to. I mean, you've already done so much to help us and we can't even pay you back--"
"I want to help everyone," Shingo told him, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. "And what he said hit a nerve, didn't it? About not being who you're supposed to be."
Nakai nodded slowly, frowning. "Like there's someone else I should be." He hesitated, his voice dropping even lower. "Tsuyoshi keeps saying he feels like we've met before. But there's no way we could have, at least, I don't remember anything..."
Shingo bit the corner of his mouth, trying not to grin. "Could just be his version of a pickup line. He does seem to like you, after all."
Nakai blinked, and then turned bright red. "I-I-- I don't think that's--"
Tsuyoshi drifted over curiously. "Are you okay? You're not getting sick, are you?" He put his hand on Nakai's forehead, frowning in concern. "It wasn't the ramen, was it?"
"I think he'll be okay," Shingo assured him. "What about you? How's the arm?"
Tsuyoshi looked down at it, considering. "It hurts. But that's normal, isn't it." He rubbed at the shoulder the sling was strapped to. "Guess I'll need help showering."
If possible, Nakai turned even redder. "M-maybe Shingo should do that, he's the d-doctor--"
Shingo laughed. "Yeah, I should probably be the one to help you." He grinned as Nakai sagged with relief. "At least until I teach Nakai how."
Nakai almost regretted not going in with Tsuyoshi when Kimura stepped into the living room. Even with nothing but a towel around his waist, he still managed to radiate intimidation, and the look he shot Inagaki was nothing short of hostile. "I don't trust you."
Inagaki blinked at his appearance. Nakai could sympathize; one simply didn't walk around naked, not in an apartment full of cameras.
"You have made that quite clear," the dark-haired man replied, looking away. "I suppose it's just as well. Who knows how much influence the Tower might still have over me without my knowing." He glanced over at Nakai.
Kimura reached under the couch, pulling out a wadded pile of clothes. "I've seen what the Tower does. Your kind aren't capable of changing." He shook out a shirt. There were several badly-mended tears in the fabric; Nakai realized, as Kimura turned, that they matched deep scars stretching across his back.
"What happened?" The question was out of his mouth before he could think twice, and he flinched as Kimura turned his attention on him. The taller man looked down at the shirt and realized what he was talking about, glancing over his shoulder.
"Not everyone gets lucky running from patrols," he said shortly, pulling the shirt over his head. He grabbed a pair of pants from the pile, shaking it out, and paused, looking from Nakai to Inagaki. Then, with a faint smirk, he let the towel drop.
Nakai quickly looked away. After a second, so did Inagaki.
Tsuyoshi picked at the plastic wrapped around his new bandages, humming idly as he soaked in the bathtub. Shingo sat down to take his turn at scrubbing off.
He was about halfway done when Tsuyoshi finally spoke up. "Do you think he's never been in love before?"
"Huh?" Shingo blinked water out of his eyes, looking up at Tsuyoshi through his hair. "You mean Nakai?" Tsuyoshi nodded, his expression sober. Shingo shrugged, rinsing the soap off his legs. "Couldn't really say. It's true the Tower isn't big on showing emotions," he said, thinking of Inagaki's carefully schooled expression.
Tsuyoshi picked at the plastic again. "Maybe he doesn't know what it is."
"Maybe." Shingo threw him a grin. "I think he likes you, though."
Tsuyoshi looked up, his expression brightening. "You do?"
Shingo laughed. "It's pretty obvious."
"Yeah, but..." Tsuyoshi shook his head at whatever was on his mind. "Have you ever been in love?"
"Me?" There had been a few, mostly patients he'd been nursing back to health. They'd all moved on eventually, though, and Shingo found he hadn't really minded. "Guess not. Nothing really meaningful, anyway." He stood, reaching for a towel.
"It's always meaningful," Tsuyoshi replied. "Hey, aren't you gonna soak?" He splashed the surface of the water with his good hand. "Come join me!"
Shingo raised his eyebrows. "What, together? There won't be any water left for Nakai!"
"Serves him right for not coming in with me." Tsuyoshi smiled mischievously. "If he wants a bath, he'll have to take it with me."
Shingo laughed again, putting the towel away. "I don't know if I'm envious or feel bad for him." It'd been a long time since he'd felt this light; not since the days with his brother, back in the cavern. Tsuyoshi would've gotten on well with his brother-- all the more reason to look after him, he thought, and joined him in the tub with a splash.
Nakai sat in the water, staring up at the ceiling. How long should he soak for? The Tower had allotted one minute for health purposes, two for those level 8 and higher. Now he could take as long as he liked, but he wasn't sure if he found it relaxing. His heartbeat seemed loud, ticking away the seconds.
Who knows how much influence the Tower might have over me without my knowing. Nakai looked at his hands, examining them. They looked normal. He knew better.
--the hand holding the knife was---
He closed his eyes, clenching his hands tightly. No, you're free now. You don't have to believe that anymore.
Fifty-nine. Sixty. He should get out. They were watching him, taking notes on everything he did. Sixty-one. Sixty-two. They'd come find him and take everything away again, and he'd let them because your kind aren't capable of changing.
He grabbed the side of the tub and heaved himself out, splashing what remained of the water onto the floor. Sixty-three.
He wrapped himself in a towel and sat on the edge of the tub, shivering despite the lingering heat of the water. Kimura was right to be suspicious. Maybe the Tower really did control everything, maybe there really wasn't any escaping after all--
There was a knock on the door, and Shingo poked his head in. "Brought you some clothes. Figured you probably wouldn't wanna wear that suit again."
Tsuyoshi peeked over Shingo's shoulder. "Better hurry and dry off so you don't catch cold!"
Warmth flooded through Nakai. It was like their voices were already there inside him, somewhere deeper than the Tower could reach. Not just Tsuyoshi's, but Shingo's, too-- they were both so familiar, like he'd spent a lifetime watching over them already. It made him want to protect them.
He smiled, a bit weakly. "Thanks." He didn't know where the feeling came from, but he held onto it tightly. He'd protect them. He'd protect them, even if it meant from himself.