003 ♣

[tsunbowmonkey86]

[It is nearly three o' clock on a Sunday morning. A small pebble bounces against your bedroom window.

A few minutes later, another pebble.

Shortly afterward, a brick.

Following the sound of shattered glass and your own surprised scream comes an angry, accented voice that you will learn to both fear and hate soon enough:]

Kids Next Door, atteeeen-shun!

[

Comments

[micronational]

[the Sealand that was here before signed up for KND. too bad nobody told this Sealand]

H-hey! I thought they said we weren't getting kidnapped here.

[86yourface]

Hey, nobody's been doin' any kidnappin' besides those stupid adults! That's why we're here!

[micronational]

But you just did! This isn't my bed!

[tsunbowmonkey86]

This is what ya get when ya sign up for the KND! It ain't a trip to the circus-- it's hard work!

[micronational]

But I didn't sign up! I just couldn't hold onto my mattress long enough!

[tsunbowmonkey86]

Now don't try playin' dumb with me-- trust me, ya don't need to!-- because I know ya signed up! You're... You're Sea World or somethin'.

[micronational]

Land, Sealand. I haven't signed up for anything, I swear! I only got here a few days ago.

[tsunbowmonkey86]

Nobody likes a draft dodger, Seaworld! Now woman up and drop and give me fifty!

[micronational]

[herwtkjn SHE'S LIKE WY ON STEROIDS] I don't have fifty! I don't have fifty anything!

[tsunbowmonkey86]

Fifty push-ups, ya idiot!

[micronational]

[totally whining as he goes down and starts doing them] There's not supposed to be boot camp, no one ever shows that part in the films! They always skip to the exciting part with missiles and fording rivers!

[tsunbowmonkey86]

[totally putting her foot on his back like a dick] Ya never get anythin' good if ya don't work for it, stupid! Ya can't do all that fun stuff if you're just a weak little boy!

[micronational]

[YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK hnnng he's so not saving you if you get hit by a landmine] I'm not a boy, I'm a full-fledged country! I did all the hard work already, I want to get to the good stuff!