Contemplating Stars, Colors, and Cats
I just had a rather pleasing spiritual experience, and I want to write about it before I forget how I feel at this exact moment.
I went outside in hopes of seeing the meteor shower tonight. Brother followed me, and we wandered around our apartment building together trying to tell is we could actually see anything. I complained that my eyes kept blurring, so I wasn't sure if I was actually seeing meteors or not.
The first thing I saw, was a cat.
He's a black tom, not old, but not young, either. He's rather solidly built, particularly towards his back legs. He'd just gotten into a fight either tonight, or recently; there was fur missing in patches near his tail, and his back was all torn up. His left eye was milky from a scar, and he may have been partially blind, but I'm not quite sure.
The reason this image sticks with me so well is that growing up, my family had a black cat - female - named Skinny. (My sister was six or so; what can you do?) Skinny was incredibly smart, I am absolutely positive had psychic ability, and was one of my favorite cats we'd had when I was a teenager, even though I love them all for different reasons. Skinny was the first cat I learned to 'talk' to; she trained me so that we could understand one another. Meowing at the back door meant food, at the front door meant out, and halfway up the stairs meant 'pet me, I want attention'. She wasn't the cuddly one, she wasn't the cute one, and she wasn't the one with the bad attitude towards anyone but me, but she was special to me for so many reasons.
She was also partially blind in her *right* eye.
The tom I met was essentially a slightly larger, bulkier, masculine version of her. The resemblance was uncanny. And I've never actually seen this cat up close before; he's *never* come anywhere near me before tonight.
Tonight Brother and I attempted to see meteors, thought we might have, and he eventually went back in. I stayed out and talked to the tom, telling him he was beautiful, and calling to him. And once it was just the two of us, he finally came close enough for me to pet him. He spent a good ten minutes purring happily under my hands while I scratched his cheeks for him. Then I asked him if he was hungry, and told him to wait while I got him some food, promising to be right back.
He waited right outside my door.
We have a bit of cat food left over from my darling Rhea and her brother while they were here, so I put some on a plate and brought it back out to him. He hovered at my feet and immediately began to down it while I sat on the steps and watched him. I noticed how he ate, that he prefered the spilled bits on the ground to what was on the plate, and that he only ate half of what I gave him before wandering up the stairs to clean himself, pausing several times to listen for something only he could hear.
I talked to him while I watched. Debated names, and finally settled with Kuro, short Kurogane, a character in the anime Tsubasa. Kurogane, I decided, was too big a name for such a cat. He seemed to agree with me.
He eventually wandered away, but not far. I wished him the best, thanked him for sitting with me as he stared back, and poured the rest of the food on the ground for him while I brought the plate inside. If he doesn't finish it, the orange tom that also frequents the neighborhood - and probably the reason behind his torn up fur - will.
I feel profoundly touched, comforted, and at peace all at once. Part of it, I think, is just the joy of being able to touch an animal, especially one that doesn't trust so easily. I've always been an animal lover, and thanks to my grandmother, I have a tendency to want to care for strays. Something she passed down through my family, I think. My mom's the same way.
Another possibility for my sudden contentment could be the fact that the Cat is one of my animal totems. (I have nine.) The thought made me curious enough to look up the totem meanings again. The results were ... interesting.
From http://www.sayahda.com/cycle.htm:
According to author Ted Andrews of Animal Speaks, cats wild or domestic have certain qualities in common. They are associated with myth and lore, magic and mystery. Nine lives, curiosity, independence, cleverness, unpredictability and healing. Those with this medicine should also study its color, size and breed for a deeper understanding.
Cats have more rods in the retinas of their eyes which enable them to see effectively in the dark. The dark is often associated with mankind's fears. Since the cat is at home in the dark, it serves as a valuable ally into the world of the supernatural and the unknown and can help those with this totem move through their fears efficiently.
The energy field of a cat rotates is a counterclockwise direction, the opposite of a human energy field. Because of this, cats have the ability to absorb and neutralize energy that affects humans in a negative way. This is part of the healing medicine that the cat holds.
If something affects you in a negative way place a cat on your lap or find a cat to pet. Your energy field will immediately realign itself and inner balance will be restored.
Because of their x-ray vision, acute hearing and high intelligence they were used throughout history as guardians and protectors. In ancient Egypt cats guarded the temple gates and were used to ward off evil.
If cat appears in your life the blending of magic and mystery is at hand. A trustworthy teacher, the cat will guide you into the world of self discovery and transformation.
From http://www.linsdomain.com/totems.htm:
Mystery, Magic and Independence
A cat totem encourages agility in both body and mind.
You will be challenged with new ideas and places.
The cat gives you clearer perception.
This spirit helper is resourceful, strong and fearless.
It will give you courage and confidence.
Examine the colors, character and behaviors of your Cat.
Everything about it will reflect in your own life.
When a Cat becomes predominant in your life,
magic and mystery come alive.
Associated with the Norse Goddess of Fertility Freyja
and the Hindu Goddess of Childbirth, Shasthi
and of course, the Egyptian Goddess Bastet who takes the form of a cat.
Thinking on it, there's another thing that struck me. Whenever I dream, most of the time when I see a cat in my dreams, it's female, white with blue eyes. But growing up, I had two female black cats; in fact, I frequently tend to be surrounded by black cats, which amuses me for many reasons. But the most interesting thing about this is the meanings behind the colors. In candle magick, white is the color of Purity and Protection, representative of the 7th Chakra. This is the cat I see in my dreams. But the cats I find around me are black, which is the color that absobs negative energy, and represents the 1st Chakra.
The cat I dream about, which I believe may be my *actual* totem, is my protector. But the cats around me protect me in a very specific way. The contrast fascinates me, because it seems very important for some reason. I just can't ... quite piece it together yet.
The fact that the cat I met is partially blind seems particularly important too, as does the fact that he resembles Skinny so much. It's like she's trying to tell me something - or someone is - but I can't see it yet. It's a very perculiar feeling.
But for now, I think I'll take this feeling of peace, contentment, and love, as a sign that I'm not alone. And comforted by that, I think I'm going to bed.
I have a feeling that my dreams will be interesting tonight. Even so, I have another feeling that I'll sleep well.
phantom_blue: *frowns* I suddenly wanna be an astronomer
Akume: -Grins- Any particular reason?
phantom_blue: The sky is pretty!
Akume: -Laughs-
phantom_blue: And I wanna go to the moon!
phantom_blue: Yes, I know astronauts are the ones that go to the moon
phantom_blue: *is not entirely logical*
Akume: Logic is overrated.
Akume: If dreams were logical, they wouldn't be dreams.
I love you, Skitty. ♥
I went outside in hopes of seeing the meteor shower tonight. Brother followed me, and we wandered around our apartment building together trying to tell is we could actually see anything. I complained that my eyes kept blurring, so I wasn't sure if I was actually seeing meteors or not.
The first thing I saw, was a cat.
He's a black tom, not old, but not young, either. He's rather solidly built, particularly towards his back legs. He'd just gotten into a fight either tonight, or recently; there was fur missing in patches near his tail, and his back was all torn up. His left eye was milky from a scar, and he may have been partially blind, but I'm not quite sure.
The reason this image sticks with me so well is that growing up, my family had a black cat - female - named Skinny. (My sister was six or so; what can you do?) Skinny was incredibly smart, I am absolutely positive had psychic ability, and was one of my favorite cats we'd had when I was a teenager, even though I love them all for different reasons. Skinny was the first cat I learned to 'talk' to; she trained me so that we could understand one another. Meowing at the back door meant food, at the front door meant out, and halfway up the stairs meant 'pet me, I want attention'. She wasn't the cuddly one, she wasn't the cute one, and she wasn't the one with the bad attitude towards anyone but me, but she was special to me for so many reasons.
She was also partially blind in her *right* eye.
The tom I met was essentially a slightly larger, bulkier, masculine version of her. The resemblance was uncanny. And I've never actually seen this cat up close before; he's *never* come anywhere near me before tonight.
Tonight Brother and I attempted to see meteors, thought we might have, and he eventually went back in. I stayed out and talked to the tom, telling him he was beautiful, and calling to him. And once it was just the two of us, he finally came close enough for me to pet him. He spent a good ten minutes purring happily under my hands while I scratched his cheeks for him. Then I asked him if he was hungry, and told him to wait while I got him some food, promising to be right back.
He waited right outside my door.
We have a bit of cat food left over from my darling Rhea and her brother while they were here, so I put some on a plate and brought it back out to him. He hovered at my feet and immediately began to down it while I sat on the steps and watched him. I noticed how he ate, that he prefered the spilled bits on the ground to what was on the plate, and that he only ate half of what I gave him before wandering up the stairs to clean himself, pausing several times to listen for something only he could hear.
I talked to him while I watched. Debated names, and finally settled with Kuro, short Kurogane, a character in the anime Tsubasa. Kurogane, I decided, was too big a name for such a cat. He seemed to agree with me.
He eventually wandered away, but not far. I wished him the best, thanked him for sitting with me as he stared back, and poured the rest of the food on the ground for him while I brought the plate inside. If he doesn't finish it, the orange tom that also frequents the neighborhood - and probably the reason behind his torn up fur - will.
I feel profoundly touched, comforted, and at peace all at once. Part of it, I think, is just the joy of being able to touch an animal, especially one that doesn't trust so easily. I've always been an animal lover, and thanks to my grandmother, I have a tendency to want to care for strays. Something she passed down through my family, I think. My mom's the same way.
Another possibility for my sudden contentment could be the fact that the Cat is one of my animal totems. (I have nine.) The thought made me curious enough to look up the totem meanings again. The results were ... interesting.
From http://www.sayahda.com/cycle.htm:
According to author Ted Andrews of Animal Speaks, cats wild or domestic have certain qualities in common. They are associated with myth and lore, magic and mystery. Nine lives, curiosity, independence, cleverness, unpredictability and healing. Those with this medicine should also study its color, size and breed for a deeper understanding.
Cats have more rods in the retinas of their eyes which enable them to see effectively in the dark. The dark is often associated with mankind's fears. Since the cat is at home in the dark, it serves as a valuable ally into the world of the supernatural and the unknown and can help those with this totem move through their fears efficiently.
The energy field of a cat rotates is a counterclockwise direction, the opposite of a human energy field. Because of this, cats have the ability to absorb and neutralize energy that affects humans in a negative way. This is part of the healing medicine that the cat holds.
If something affects you in a negative way place a cat on your lap or find a cat to pet. Your energy field will immediately realign itself and inner balance will be restored.
Because of their x-ray vision, acute hearing and high intelligence they were used throughout history as guardians and protectors. In ancient Egypt cats guarded the temple gates and were used to ward off evil.
If cat appears in your life the blending of magic and mystery is at hand. A trustworthy teacher, the cat will guide you into the world of self discovery and transformation.
From http://www.linsdomain.com/totems.htm:
Mystery, Magic and Independence
A cat totem encourages agility in both body and mind.
You will be challenged with new ideas and places.
The cat gives you clearer perception.
This spirit helper is resourceful, strong and fearless.
It will give you courage and confidence.
Examine the colors, character and behaviors of your Cat.
Everything about it will reflect in your own life.
When a Cat becomes predominant in your life,
magic and mystery come alive.
Associated with the Norse Goddess of Fertility Freyja
and the Hindu Goddess of Childbirth, Shasthi
and of course, the Egyptian Goddess Bastet who takes the form of a cat.
Thinking on it, there's another thing that struck me. Whenever I dream, most of the time when I see a cat in my dreams, it's female, white with blue eyes. But growing up, I had two female black cats; in fact, I frequently tend to be surrounded by black cats, which amuses me for many reasons. But the most interesting thing about this is the meanings behind the colors. In candle magick, white is the color of Purity and Protection, representative of the 7th Chakra. This is the cat I see in my dreams. But the cats I find around me are black, which is the color that absobs negative energy, and represents the 1st Chakra.
The cat I dream about, which I believe may be my *actual* totem, is my protector. But the cats around me protect me in a very specific way. The contrast fascinates me, because it seems very important for some reason. I just can't ... quite piece it together yet.
The fact that the cat I met is partially blind seems particularly important too, as does the fact that he resembles Skinny so much. It's like she's trying to tell me something - or someone is - but I can't see it yet. It's a very perculiar feeling.
But for now, I think I'll take this feeling of peace, contentment, and love, as a sign that I'm not alone. And comforted by that, I think I'm going to bed.
I have a feeling that my dreams will be interesting tonight. Even so, I have another feeling that I'll sleep well.
phantom_blue: *frowns* I suddenly wanna be an astronomer
Akume: -Grins- Any particular reason?
phantom_blue: The sky is pretty!
Akume: -Laughs-
phantom_blue: And I wanna go to the moon!
phantom_blue: Yes, I know astronauts are the ones that go to the moon
phantom_blue: *is not entirely logical*
Akume: Logic is overrated.
Akume: If dreams were logical, they wouldn't be dreams.
I love you, Skitty. ♥