(no subject)
I am officially fucked.
I talked to worker's comp today, and was directed to the doctor who did my QME (Qualified Medical Exam) to find out about the results from last week's MRI, and see what needs to be done next. I called them, and was told first of all, that they haven't even gotten the results yet. Second, apparently when they do, the doctor has *forty-five days* to write a report about it, and send it back to me and the worker's comp adjustor to decide what happens next. Whether it's knee surgery, or more tests.
I still can't walk without my crutches. My hands are swelling and getting these nasty gross-looking cysts on the back because I've been gripping too hard and too tight to the crutches while I try to get around, since they're pretty much what's holding me up. I woke up this morning and realized I could barely lift my arm because it was so stiff. And walking? Hah.
I have $85 dollars in the bank. I can't get to work because I can't get up the stairs. I can *barely* get around the house, and I'm staying on borrowed time here if I don't have an income. And without the kindness of this family, I would *literally* be living in a homeless shelter - no joke.
And apparently I can't even find out what's wrong with *one* of my knees for over a month.
I've been feeling broody and anti-social lately, for reasons ranging between realizing that I'm actually genuinely upset that I won't be able to finish my NaNo, to arguing with a friend, to feeling generally helpless since I can't do a whole hell of a lot right now, to the fact that the rest of the household is getting into the holiday spirit, and I'm *really* not a big fan of Christmas. I've spent the last few days reading Harry Potter fanfiction and writing a random fic that wouldn't make sense to anyone without a long explanation, since it hasn't happened in the series yet. And today I got this little gem of good news.
I'm just ...
I don't know. I'm gonna take a long shower. Possibly cry. After that, I really don't know.