Yearly Holiday Rant Update
Today on the Yearly Holiday Rant:
I e-mailed my supervisor to let him know that I was choosing to opt out of the decorating contest. He was out that day (He'd been out off and on all week for a personal emergency), so I didn't get my response until he came in on Thursday.
His reply? 'Okay, but can we decorate your cubicle for you or would that be 'participating' lol?'.
....
I settled for a polite 'I would prefer not to decorate my cubicle please. Thank you for asking first.' Never got a reply. He still hasn't brought it up since.
I took down the wrapping paper, but that same day a co-worker I used to sit near asked me how I was doing. I don't believe in answering 'I'm fine' when people ask how you're doing: it bothers me to be asked a question that most people don't actually care about the answer for, so I'll give an honest reply. It turned into the whole story of what's been going on, which earned me a lot of 'Yeah, that's pretty upsetting's, and even one comment of 'Well, my supervisor's pretty big on participation'.* Just talking about it left me so furious that I was visibly shaking by the time I went back to my desk; it took serious effort to calm down enough to sound somewhat normal enough to take calls. And even then, only the guy next to me continued to notice that I was upset. By this point, his reply had become 'Well yeah, but this is Texas. You can't expect that people think about that stuff here."
Thursday and Friday both ended with stress-induced migraines and heartburn.
This week I've been trying to stay out of the decorating spree other than my agreement to make a Grinch for them.** The rest of the contact center has begun copying the 'gift wrap wallpaper' theme, which my supervisor insisted to one of the higher ups today was started by his team. (It actually was as far as I saw, but all the copycatting makes me even more glad I chose not to do it.) The 'Twas the Night Before Christmas theme has exploded: there are now lights on their Christmas tree, the pile of crafting supplies around the decorator's desks is getting bigger, and random signs and things have popped up. There is now a snowman made out of styrofoam cups that looks vaguely similar to this light from Ikea. (I mentioned this to someone earlier, and he knew *exactly* which light I was thinking of.) While I will admit that the snowman is clever and somewhat cute, I've noticed that it is conveniently placed in the open space between my desk and the other person who didn't decorate. I don't know if this was deliberate, or if they just thought that was the best place for it. It's also a very popular snowman: people keep stopping to look at it, and the head of our part of the contact center actually brought *multiple* people over to see it ... which meant people standing right behind me and talking about it while I'm on the phone and trying to hear the caller. I did not snap at him, but I was sorely tempted.
Funny Story: a few days ago that same head of the contact center asked if my supervisor was a scrooge just because he hadn't decorated his desk yet.
My team has apparently decided that opting out of the decorating means I'm not participating in *anything*: one of the guys next to me made the mistake of asking me yesterday what I was thinking about for a Secret Santa gift. I said 'What Secret Santa?' Turns out that the team is doing a $10 gift exchange. No one even mentioned it to me. The guy I was talking to was totally shocked that I hadn't been invited, and told me I should let the girl organizing it know because they'd already drawn names. This is not the first time I've been excluded from a 'team activity' either; it's just the first time I can be sure it was on purpose.
... Yeah. No, thanks. I'm done.
In summary, I'm still stressed and frustrated, but trying to stay out of it. I've got two more days until the contest is over, and then just two days before Christmas. A week after that, and December is over at last. I am counting the days.
I've never been big about holidays, but I didn't mind them. This year? I'm bitter, irritated, grumpy, stressed out, and gods damn it is it January yet? >.<
On a cheerier note, so much love and appreciation for everyone who has stopped to check on me, show their support, and shared their own stories of holiday bullying. It helps. It helps A LOT. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
* Okay, I like this person, because she's always been nice to me and helped me out, but SCREW YOU. This is the first, and *only* thing I have ever not wished or attempted to participate in. And if anyone tries to argue about me not participating? THERE WILL BE WORDS. -Fumes-
** Both Grinches came out great, and people have complemented me on both of them. No questions about why drawing them a Grinch was okay when decorating wasn't. It's also the first thing that has made people acknowledge me again after the past few days of mutual silence.
I e-mailed my supervisor to let him know that I was choosing to opt out of the decorating contest. He was out that day (He'd been out off and on all week for a personal emergency), so I didn't get my response until he came in on Thursday.
His reply? 'Okay, but can we decorate your cubicle for you or would that be 'participating' lol?'.
....
I settled for a polite 'I would prefer not to decorate my cubicle please. Thank you for asking first.' Never got a reply. He still hasn't brought it up since.
I took down the wrapping paper, but that same day a co-worker I used to sit near asked me how I was doing. I don't believe in answering 'I'm fine' when people ask how you're doing: it bothers me to be asked a question that most people don't actually care about the answer for, so I'll give an honest reply. It turned into the whole story of what's been going on, which earned me a lot of 'Yeah, that's pretty upsetting's, and even one comment of 'Well, my supervisor's pretty big on participation'.* Just talking about it left me so furious that I was visibly shaking by the time I went back to my desk; it took serious effort to calm down enough to sound somewhat normal enough to take calls. And even then, only the guy next to me continued to notice that I was upset. By this point, his reply had become 'Well yeah, but this is Texas. You can't expect that people think about that stuff here."
Thursday and Friday both ended with stress-induced migraines and heartburn.
This week I've been trying to stay out of the decorating spree other than my agreement to make a Grinch for them.** The rest of the contact center has begun copying the 'gift wrap wallpaper' theme, which my supervisor insisted to one of the higher ups today was started by his team. (It actually was as far as I saw, but all the copycatting makes me even more glad I chose not to do it.) The 'Twas the Night Before Christmas theme has exploded: there are now lights on their Christmas tree, the pile of crafting supplies around the decorator's desks is getting bigger, and random signs and things have popped up. There is now a snowman made out of styrofoam cups that looks vaguely similar to this light from Ikea. (I mentioned this to someone earlier, and he knew *exactly* which light I was thinking of.) While I will admit that the snowman is clever and somewhat cute, I've noticed that it is conveniently placed in the open space between my desk and the other person who didn't decorate. I don't know if this was deliberate, or if they just thought that was the best place for it. It's also a very popular snowman: people keep stopping to look at it, and the head of our part of the contact center actually brought *multiple* people over to see it ... which meant people standing right behind me and talking about it while I'm on the phone and trying to hear the caller. I did not snap at him, but I was sorely tempted.
Funny Story: a few days ago that same head of the contact center asked if my supervisor was a scrooge just because he hadn't decorated his desk yet.
My team has apparently decided that opting out of the decorating means I'm not participating in *anything*: one of the guys next to me made the mistake of asking me yesterday what I was thinking about for a Secret Santa gift. I said 'What Secret Santa?' Turns out that the team is doing a $10 gift exchange. No one even mentioned it to me. The guy I was talking to was totally shocked that I hadn't been invited, and told me I should let the girl organizing it know because they'd already drawn names. This is not the first time I've been excluded from a 'team activity' either; it's just the first time I can be sure it was on purpose.
... Yeah. No, thanks. I'm done.
In summary, I'm still stressed and frustrated, but trying to stay out of it. I've got two more days until the contest is over, and then just two days before Christmas. A week after that, and December is over at last. I am counting the days.
I've never been big about holidays, but I didn't mind them. This year? I'm bitter, irritated, grumpy, stressed out, and gods damn it is it January yet? >.<
On a cheerier note, so much love and appreciation for everyone who has stopped to check on me, show their support, and shared their own stories of holiday bullying. It helps. It helps A LOT. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
* Okay, I like this person, because she's always been nice to me and helped me out, but SCREW YOU. This is the first, and *only* thing I have ever not wished or attempted to participate in. And if anyone tries to argue about me not participating? THERE WILL BE WORDS. -Fumes-
** Both Grinches came out great, and people have complemented me on both of them. No questions about why drawing them a Grinch was okay when decorating wasn't. It's also the first thing that has made people acknowledge me again after the past few days of mutual silence.