Yearly Holiday Rant
Time for the Yearly Holiday Rant!
....
Okay, so there normally isn't a Yearly Holiday Rant. Normally I'm pretty apathetic around the end of the year holidays: partly because I'm Pagan, partly because I haven't been a fan of Christmas since I was twelve. I might get mildly annoyed when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas or otherwise assumes I'm celebrating with them, but I let it go.
This year is different.
This year, I have a job. And the Yearly Holiday Rant is a Thing. Or more precisely, A THING.
My work is doing the usual holiday seasonal activities places of employment so often do. There was a holiday party last Saturday which was fun. There's going to be an Ugly Sweater Contest, and something else I can't remember now.
And of course, the Team Decorating Contest.
This was first brought up just after Halloween. I'd participated then, because while I celebrate All Hallow's Eve, I don't mind participating. The theme they chose was even my idea. (We lost, but that's okay.) After it was over, the two people who did the most organizing and decorating asked me if I had any ideas for Christmas, and mentioned that they were thinking maybe The 12 Days of Christmas. I explained that I don't really celebrate Christmas, commented that would really only work out if everyone was willing to participate (Not everyone had for Halloween.), and made a crack about preferring The 12 Pains of Christmas.
Fast forward to Monday. I come in to an e-mail from my supervisor stating that he'd signed our team up, asked everyone to think of a theme, and let him know if we'd like to opt out. Two hours later I happened to walk over to ask someone a question, and find that the people I'd talked to before are putting up decorations for our 'Twas the Night Before Christmas theme and informed to grab a roll of wrapping paper to put up in my cubicle when I had the chance.
I went ' ... Uh. I'm not big on Christmas. Let me think about it.'
I don't like the theme. Period. It's flat-out Christmas and I would prefer something either more generic or inclusive of all winter holidays, but more importantly, no one asked if anyone was had an issue the theme. Halloween? The supervisor asked what everyone thought of my idea first. This was 'Hey, think of a theme!' straight to 'Here's the decorations for our theme, put yours up'. And I balked, because ... I'm really not okay with that.
The rest of the day I got into discussions with a couple of other team members about the theme and why I was hesitating. I tried to explain that I'm Pagan, and I'm not really crazy about a Christmas-specific theme. Both of them responded with 'Oh, that makes sense. But come on, just do it anyway!' One of them made cracks about putting up a Grinch theme for my cubicle.
I laughed a bit at the time, but it bothered me for the rest of the day. It bothered me all of Tuesday. I'm not a Grinch; I don't mind celebrating winter holidays. I don't mind decorating, and I've learned to politely return being wished a Merry Christmas with Happy Holidays, because it's time consuming to try and argue why it can be rude. (I do understand and respect the thought behind it, which is why I let it go.) So why, because I was a little upset that everyone assumed I would be fine with celebrating Christmas, was I suddenly being difficult?
I discussed it with
arytra and
rosabelle, because I was starting to wonder if I was blowing things out of proportion being upset about this, and Shi-chan later. Because really, my issue lies in the lack of respect in checking the Christmas theme first - not just for me, but for everyone. What if there had been someone else on the team who celebrated another holiday? (Turns out there's one person who disagrees with it, but she doesn't celebrate any holidays.) And then my issue became 'Why is my having an issue with this being dismissed? That's disrespectful, and it's upsetting to me.' Leaving me struggling to decide which was more important to me: holding ground with my morals by choosing not to participate, even though I know no one really understands what I'm arguing about, or giving in and being a 'team player' even though I'm upset at being dismissed, because it's a fight I'm never going to win? Part of me argued that it's never, ever, EVER okay to back down on an issue about respect, especially when it's not just my beliefs as a Pagan that I'm standing up for. Part of me pointed out that this is a losing battle that no one else is even seeing. And really, what is my mood going to be like for two weeks of Christmas decorations I don't want staring me directly in the face all day?
I've lost a lot of sleep about this, if you can't tell. Because there's really no 'right' answer.
This morning I finally came to a decision. For one, I am *way* too stressed over this. That right there tells me that I shouldn't participate. It's not like the theme's going to be changed at this point when it's already going up. Ironically the second point came from a discussion I had about religion with the co-worker who doesn't celebrate holidays when she was giving me a ride home: I told her that I would rather live according to my convictions and beliefs and be wrong, than go along with what someone else tells me is right but doesn't feel right to *me*. So I decided to e-mail my supervisor when I got to work and politely let him know that I was choosing to opt out.
When I arrived at work today, someone had already put wrapping paper up on one of the side walls on my cubicle.
I didn't tear it down, although I was really, seriously tempted to. I spent the entire day being royally pissed off and offended, trying not to turn to my right and end up looking at it again. I mostly succeeded; as it happens, my computer faces the other way. But knowing it was there was infuriating. I told one of the girls in an e-mail LAST NIGHT that I'm not a fan of the Christmas theme. I spent every single break worrying that someone would Stealth Decorate the rest of my cubicle while I was gone. Just thinking about it right *now* makes me want to punch something.
And in all of this, there is *one* single person who stopped me on my first break. He told me that he'd promised to help make Grinch face for the decorations, and asked me if I would mind helping him because he knows I'm an artist, too. (I sometimes make pictures in Microsoft Paint when the calls are low, which got me a reputation.) I looked at him and told him that he is the *only* person who asked me first, and because he asked, I will help him. But only because he took the time to ask.
I explained more later. He's slightly more understanding than the 'just do it' crowd, but he still doesn't really get it.
I could, and probably should, make a bigger issue about this. I should bring it up with my supervisor, possibly even HR. But I also don't want to get the contest banned or 'regulated' either, because that's not what I'm asking for.
All I'm asking for is someone to say 'Oh, hey, maybe not everyone celebrates the same way, and we should have been proactively respectful of that. I'm sorry.'
And I'm never going to get it, because no one *else* gets it.
....
Okay, so there normally isn't a Yearly Holiday Rant. Normally I'm pretty apathetic around the end of the year holidays: partly because I'm Pagan, partly because I haven't been a fan of Christmas since I was twelve. I might get mildly annoyed when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas or otherwise assumes I'm celebrating with them, but I let it go.
This year is different.
This year, I have a job. And the Yearly Holiday Rant is a Thing. Or more precisely, A THING.
My work is doing the usual holiday seasonal activities places of employment so often do. There was a holiday party last Saturday which was fun. There's going to be an Ugly Sweater Contest, and something else I can't remember now.
And of course, the Team Decorating Contest.
This was first brought up just after Halloween. I'd participated then, because while I celebrate All Hallow's Eve, I don't mind participating. The theme they chose was even my idea. (We lost, but that's okay.) After it was over, the two people who did the most organizing and decorating asked me if I had any ideas for Christmas, and mentioned that they were thinking maybe The 12 Days of Christmas. I explained that I don't really celebrate Christmas, commented that would really only work out if everyone was willing to participate (Not everyone had for Halloween.), and made a crack about preferring The 12 Pains of Christmas.
Fast forward to Monday. I come in to an e-mail from my supervisor stating that he'd signed our team up, asked everyone to think of a theme, and let him know if we'd like to opt out. Two hours later I happened to walk over to ask someone a question, and find that the people I'd talked to before are putting up decorations for our 'Twas the Night Before Christmas theme and informed to grab a roll of wrapping paper to put up in my cubicle when I had the chance.
I went ' ... Uh. I'm not big on Christmas. Let me think about it.'
I don't like the theme. Period. It's flat-out Christmas and I would prefer something either more generic or inclusive of all winter holidays, but more importantly, no one asked if anyone was had an issue the theme. Halloween? The supervisor asked what everyone thought of my idea first. This was 'Hey, think of a theme!' straight to 'Here's the decorations for our theme, put yours up'. And I balked, because ... I'm really not okay with that.
The rest of the day I got into discussions with a couple of other team members about the theme and why I was hesitating. I tried to explain that I'm Pagan, and I'm not really crazy about a Christmas-specific theme. Both of them responded with 'Oh, that makes sense. But come on, just do it anyway!' One of them made cracks about putting up a Grinch theme for my cubicle.
I laughed a bit at the time, but it bothered me for the rest of the day. It bothered me all of Tuesday. I'm not a Grinch; I don't mind celebrating winter holidays. I don't mind decorating, and I've learned to politely return being wished a Merry Christmas with Happy Holidays, because it's time consuming to try and argue why it can be rude. (I do understand and respect the thought behind it, which is why I let it go.) So why, because I was a little upset that everyone assumed I would be fine with celebrating Christmas, was I suddenly being difficult?
I discussed it with
arytra and
rosabelle, because I was starting to wonder if I was blowing things out of proportion being upset about this, and Shi-chan later. Because really, my issue lies in the lack of respect in checking the Christmas theme first - not just for me, but for everyone. What if there had been someone else on the team who celebrated another holiday? (Turns out there's one person who disagrees with it, but she doesn't celebrate any holidays.) And then my issue became 'Why is my having an issue with this being dismissed? That's disrespectful, and it's upsetting to me.' Leaving me struggling to decide which was more important to me: holding ground with my morals by choosing not to participate, even though I know no one really understands what I'm arguing about, or giving in and being a 'team player' even though I'm upset at being dismissed, because it's a fight I'm never going to win? Part of me argued that it's never, ever, EVER okay to back down on an issue about respect, especially when it's not just my beliefs as a Pagan that I'm standing up for. Part of me pointed out that this is a losing battle that no one else is even seeing. And really, what is my mood going to be like for two weeks of Christmas decorations I don't want staring me directly in the face all day?
I've lost a lot of sleep about this, if you can't tell. Because there's really no 'right' answer.
This morning I finally came to a decision. For one, I am *way* too stressed over this. That right there tells me that I shouldn't participate. It's not like the theme's going to be changed at this point when it's already going up. Ironically the second point came from a discussion I had about religion with the co-worker who doesn't celebrate holidays when she was giving me a ride home: I told her that I would rather live according to my convictions and beliefs and be wrong, than go along with what someone else tells me is right but doesn't feel right to *me*. So I decided to e-mail my supervisor when I got to work and politely let him know that I was choosing to opt out.
When I arrived at work today, someone had already put wrapping paper up on one of the side walls on my cubicle.
I didn't tear it down, although I was really, seriously tempted to. I spent the entire day being royally pissed off and offended, trying not to turn to my right and end up looking at it again. I mostly succeeded; as it happens, my computer faces the other way. But knowing it was there was infuriating. I told one of the girls in an e-mail LAST NIGHT that I'm not a fan of the Christmas theme. I spent every single break worrying that someone would Stealth Decorate the rest of my cubicle while I was gone. Just thinking about it right *now* makes me want to punch something.
And in all of this, there is *one* single person who stopped me on my first break. He told me that he'd promised to help make Grinch face for the decorations, and asked me if I would mind helping him because he knows I'm an artist, too. (I sometimes make pictures in Microsoft Paint when the calls are low, which got me a reputation.) I looked at him and told him that he is the *only* person who asked me first, and because he asked, I will help him. But only because he took the time to ask.
I explained more later. He's slightly more understanding than the 'just do it' crowd, but he still doesn't really get it.
I could, and probably should, make a bigger issue about this. I should bring it up with my supervisor, possibly even HR. But I also don't want to get the contest banned or 'regulated' either, because that's not what I'm asking for.
All I'm asking for is someone to say 'Oh, hey, maybe not everyone celebrates the same way, and we should have been proactively respectful of that. I'm sorry.'
And I'm never going to get it, because no one *else* gets it.