first the job update
so this is what happens when you don't post for two weeks (seriously, i think it's been that long, not counting my entries for lj idol) - shit happens. like, you know how i'm currently only a contract worker at my job? and they actually posted the job and suggested i apply for it? and i was the strong internal candidate? well. i didn't get it.
my manager told me on friday almost two weeks ago - again, this is what happens when you don't post, and by "you" i obviously mean "me" - but didn't have time to tell me why i can't keep my own job. so i had all weekend to wonder how badly i screwed up, if i was a strong candidate and they still hired someone else. the new person is also internal, altho not libraries internal, altho i didn't learn that until last week.
a day-by-day recounting is easiest. just kind of long.
friday basically two weeks ago: manager k tells me they hired someone else. she says it was a very difficult decision. she doesn't have time to really tell me why, or give me any feedback. (she misread her calendar and thought she would have time. i don't hold it against her. i mean, i've seen her calendar. i know what a mess it is. also, you know, friday.) she says i can stay one week, or two weeks, or no weeks, whatever works best for me. i opt to stay two weeks. she has no idea when the new person is starting. i think they picked two weeks because it's the standard when you give notice, and they don't have a template for this particular situation so they're making it up as they go along.
weekend: i tell dear-tiger because she makes the mistake of asking how my day's going. i also tell my sister. i eventually reframe it as less "i didn't get my job" and more "i didn't get a job i applied for". there's a difference.
monday about a week and a half ago: manager k gives me good feedback on my interview. apparently it was a combination of interview and job performance, altho she stresses that my job performance wasn't bad enough for someone to actually say something. (which i interpret as "it's really not that bad, don't stress".) i tell no one.
also monday: the reason i have to come in this week is that the new person is starting, and i can't just drop her onboarding on someone else without warning. i take her to get her security badge, do some basic training for stuff, show her around the office, have a little welcome party. she looks a lot younger than i was expecting and she's super friendly and i like her.
tuesday: the other admin (admin a) who supports the same departments takes me out for lunch, because manager k told her. one of the other admins, admin s who i love, walks out with me at the end of the day and tells me one of my department heads told her (i interviewed with admin s and one of the lovely folks from hr). she's righteously pissed and upset on my behalf. she hugs me.
wednesday: admin s tells me manager k said they can do something for me, and do i want like a going-away party or just an admin lunch or what? i don't want a going-away party because i'm not leaving of my own volition. she understands. i say lunch with the admins would be fab. maybe sushi. she sends an invite. i tell no one else.
thursday: in the morning, as soon as i get in, admin r who sits in the cube behind me says "i'm sorry" to me right after i wish her a good morning. so you got the invite, i say. she's less outwardly pissed and upset than admin s was (possibly because we're in the office and not standing outside in front of the t station, and because she's in general a little less, uh, demonstrative about her feelings and opinions) (altho she definitely has feelings and opinions) but she says it was a dumb move on their part. she's very sympathetic. i realize i have to start telling people. i tell admin g (who knows because lunch invite) and she commiserates. they all seem to think it's a stupid and inexplicable move on the part of the department heads. i can't really argue. i also go to a retirement party planning meeting, and tell the rest of the party planning people (who i like) that next week is my last week, someone else needs to be the contact for the room, and they all go wait, what, you're leaving?? quick explanation ensues. a couple of them ask if they can hug me, and when i say yes, do so. they're all baffled as to why someone else is getting my job. yeah, me too.
also thursday: a little more training with the new person. she's already familiar with some of the applications we use, which is great and makes introducing her to stuff really easy.
friday: go to a department meeting, take notes, department head eh asks me if she can tell everyone i'm leaving, she can thank me for my hard work, etc etc. i have to think about it. i really don't want a big deal made out of it, but i can tell the folks at the meeting that i liked working with/for them, i learned stuff, they're doing some really cool shit, i'm glad i got to be part of it. so eh tells everyone and thanks me for my hard work, i tell them they were a pleasure to work with/for, they go wtf?? we go on with the meeting. afterwards one of the archivists finds me (i'm helping another archivist bring the leftover snacks to the break area - we had valentine's day baked goods) to tell me she's really surprised and really sorry, i was great to work with, etc etc. the other archivist agrees. i get back to my cube to find a message from manager k (working from home) asking when's a good time to call her, so i call her, and she asks if i can stay another week. >.< because they won't have coverage because the new admin won't have started yet, and they still need stuff done. i say sure. i mean, now i can go to the retirement party. :D but i have to tell people i'm not leaving yet. >.<
weekend: it's the weekend. :D i feel better about my professional life.
this monday: day off. :D i slack a lot. i continue to feel ok about my professional life.
tuesday: ...the fuck happened tuesday? i requested a lot of parking passes.
wednesday: go to a training for an expenses-related tool i probably won't ever use, because i'm leaving. but if it shows up in whatever job i have next, i'll already be slightly familiar.
today: have a second (much larger) welcome party for the new person. there's deep-dish quiche which is VERY CHEESY and VERY EGGY. people thank me for organizing it. tell the party planning committee i'll be here next week. they're pleased. i'm pleased. also the admins take me out for lunch. we have sushi and poke bowls and takoyaki and it's delicious, and now they all know i'll be around another week. randomly tell someone in the office, who i don't think is in any of my departments, that i didn't get my job and i'll only be around another week. she's very wtf?? which seems to be everyone's reactions.
the silver lining, and there kind of is one, is that admins s, r, and g have no long-term plans to stay with the libraries, because it's too toxic for them and there's a lot of shit about the way things are run that they don't like. so listening to them has made me think it's maybe not so awful that i'm leaving, altho i'd still like to be going by my own choice. also i talked to the employment agency that got me this job, and they've sent me i think six job descriptions so far, four of which they sent my resume to. one of which wants to give me an interview on monday. O.O this is encouraging.
so that's all the job shit. i can't keep this one - which bums me out partly because i really want to be a salaried employee and not a temp, but mostly because i like so many of the people - but i think i'll be able to get another one without too much down time.
my manager told me on friday almost two weeks ago - again, this is what happens when you don't post, and by "you" i obviously mean "me" - but didn't have time to tell me why i can't keep my own job. so i had all weekend to wonder how badly i screwed up, if i was a strong candidate and they still hired someone else. the new person is also internal, altho not libraries internal, altho i didn't learn that until last week.
a day-by-day recounting is easiest. just kind of long.
friday basically two weeks ago: manager k tells me they hired someone else. she says it was a very difficult decision. she doesn't have time to really tell me why, or give me any feedback. (she misread her calendar and thought she would have time. i don't hold it against her. i mean, i've seen her calendar. i know what a mess it is. also, you know, friday.) she says i can stay one week, or two weeks, or no weeks, whatever works best for me. i opt to stay two weeks. she has no idea when the new person is starting. i think they picked two weeks because it's the standard when you give notice, and they don't have a template for this particular situation so they're making it up as they go along.
weekend: i tell dear-tiger because she makes the mistake of asking how my day's going. i also tell my sister. i eventually reframe it as less "i didn't get my job" and more "i didn't get a job i applied for". there's a difference.
monday about a week and a half ago: manager k gives me good feedback on my interview. apparently it was a combination of interview and job performance, altho she stresses that my job performance wasn't bad enough for someone to actually say something. (which i interpret as "it's really not that bad, don't stress".) i tell no one.
also monday: the reason i have to come in this week is that the new person is starting, and i can't just drop her onboarding on someone else without warning. i take her to get her security badge, do some basic training for stuff, show her around the office, have a little welcome party. she looks a lot younger than i was expecting and she's super friendly and i like her.
tuesday: the other admin (admin a) who supports the same departments takes me out for lunch, because manager k told her. one of the other admins, admin s who i love, walks out with me at the end of the day and tells me one of my department heads told her (i interviewed with admin s and one of the lovely folks from hr). she's righteously pissed and upset on my behalf. she hugs me.
wednesday: admin s tells me manager k said they can do something for me, and do i want like a going-away party or just an admin lunch or what? i don't want a going-away party because i'm not leaving of my own volition. she understands. i say lunch with the admins would be fab. maybe sushi. she sends an invite. i tell no one else.
thursday: in the morning, as soon as i get in, admin r who sits in the cube behind me says "i'm sorry" to me right after i wish her a good morning. so you got the invite, i say. she's less outwardly pissed and upset than admin s was (possibly because we're in the office and not standing outside in front of the t station, and because she's in general a little less, uh, demonstrative about her feelings and opinions) (altho she definitely has feelings and opinions) but she says it was a dumb move on their part. she's very sympathetic. i realize i have to start telling people. i tell admin g (who knows because lunch invite) and she commiserates. they all seem to think it's a stupid and inexplicable move on the part of the department heads. i can't really argue. i also go to a retirement party planning meeting, and tell the rest of the party planning people (who i like) that next week is my last week, someone else needs to be the contact for the room, and they all go wait, what, you're leaving?? quick explanation ensues. a couple of them ask if they can hug me, and when i say yes, do so. they're all baffled as to why someone else is getting my job. yeah, me too.
also thursday: a little more training with the new person. she's already familiar with some of the applications we use, which is great and makes introducing her to stuff really easy.
friday: go to a department meeting, take notes, department head eh asks me if she can tell everyone i'm leaving, she can thank me for my hard work, etc etc. i have to think about it. i really don't want a big deal made out of it, but i can tell the folks at the meeting that i liked working with/for them, i learned stuff, they're doing some really cool shit, i'm glad i got to be part of it. so eh tells everyone and thanks me for my hard work, i tell them they were a pleasure to work with/for, they go wtf?? we go on with the meeting. afterwards one of the archivists finds me (i'm helping another archivist bring the leftover snacks to the break area - we had valentine's day baked goods) to tell me she's really surprised and really sorry, i was great to work with, etc etc. the other archivist agrees. i get back to my cube to find a message from manager k (working from home) asking when's a good time to call her, so i call her, and she asks if i can stay another week. >.< because they won't have coverage because the new admin won't have started yet, and they still need stuff done. i say sure. i mean, now i can go to the retirement party. :D but i have to tell people i'm not leaving yet. >.<
weekend: it's the weekend. :D i feel better about my professional life.
this monday: day off. :D i slack a lot. i continue to feel ok about my professional life.
tuesday: ...the fuck happened tuesday? i requested a lot of parking passes.
wednesday: go to a training for an expenses-related tool i probably won't ever use, because i'm leaving. but if it shows up in whatever job i have next, i'll already be slightly familiar.
today: have a second (much larger) welcome party for the new person. there's deep-dish quiche which is VERY CHEESY and VERY EGGY. people thank me for organizing it. tell the party planning committee i'll be here next week. they're pleased. i'm pleased. also the admins take me out for lunch. we have sushi and poke bowls and takoyaki and it's delicious, and now they all know i'll be around another week. randomly tell someone in the office, who i don't think is in any of my departments, that i didn't get my job and i'll only be around another week. she's very wtf?? which seems to be everyone's reactions.
the silver lining, and there kind of is one, is that admins s, r, and g have no long-term plans to stay with the libraries, because it's too toxic for them and there's a lot of shit about the way things are run that they don't like. so listening to them has made me think it's maybe not so awful that i'm leaving, altho i'd still like to be going by my own choice. also i talked to the employment agency that got me this job, and they've sent me i think six job descriptions so far, four of which they sent my resume to. one of which wants to give me an interview on monday. O.O this is encouraging.
so that's all the job shit. i can't keep this one - which bums me out partly because i really want to be a salaried employee and not a temp, but mostly because i like so many of the people - but i think i'll be able to get another one without too much down time.