LJ Idol, Season 9 - Week 18
Title: Dating Help
Topic: disinformation
"Melody?"
"Yeah?"
"You know Risa Marquand?"
"The girl you're interested in?"
"I met Alex for lunch today and he told me she has a girlfriend already."
"Who's Alex?"
"Alex Keough. You've met him. Holly's housemate. I was asking him for advice and he says 'Oh, I heard she has a girlfriend, don't do it.' She doesn't, though. Does she?"
"That's what I told Holly."
"What did you tell Holly?"
"That Risa is already seeing somebody."
"Why?"
"I heard through the grapevine that she wants to ask your girl out. I thought it would help. You know Holly's really sensitive about putting the moves on someone who's already in a relationship."
"But what happens if I ask Risa out and she says yes?"
"Then you go out."
"Holly's going to know you lied to her to clear the way for me."
"No she isn't. She's not that smart. Why do you care? You don't like her anyway."
"It doesn't matter."
"Catie. Relax. If you have to be neurotic about something, be neurotic about asking this girl out."
"What do I say? Alex didn't give me any advice because he thinks she's seeing someone already, thanks to you."
"Try 'Do you want to go out sometime?' It's not hard. Haven't you ever asked anyone out before?"
"You're going to laugh, but no."
"How did you get to be twenty-seven without ever asking anyone out on a date?"
"They always asked me. Risa's not going to ask me."
"Well, now that I've kindly gotten rid of your competition - "
"Holly's not my competition, Melody."
"Yes she is. Or was. As I was saying, I cleared a path for you so you can woman up and go 'Hey, Risa, do you want to go out for coffee on Wednesday'. Or whatever you want to do."
"I can't."
"Yes you can."
"What if she says no?"
"Then she says no. You go on with your life. What if she says yes?"
"Then we go out?"
"Then you go out! Seriously, Catie, it's not difficult. How many dates did you turn down?"
"One, but she was straight and asking me out as a joke."
"I don't think that's going to be an issue here. Ask her tomorrow, and then you can stop worrying about it and I can stop trying to help you. No, wait, I have a better idea. Call her now."
"Now?"
"Get it over with. It'll be like ripping off a Band-aid - a minute of pain, a lifetime of relief."
"But - "
"Don't 'but' me. Here's your phone. Call her. I'll even go in the other room so you can have some privacy."
"I hate you."
"I'm trying to help. Just call her, Catie."
"Ok. Ok. See, here's her number, I'm dialing. Go away."
"Good luck."
"What if she's not - uh. Hi, Risa. It's Catie...."
Topic: disinformation
"Melody?"
"Yeah?"
"You know Risa Marquand?"
"The girl you're interested in?"
"I met Alex for lunch today and he told me she has a girlfriend already."
"Who's Alex?"
"Alex Keough. You've met him. Holly's housemate. I was asking him for advice and he says 'Oh, I heard she has a girlfriend, don't do it.' She doesn't, though. Does she?"
"That's what I told Holly."
"What did you tell Holly?"
"That Risa is already seeing somebody."
"Why?"
"I heard through the grapevine that she wants to ask your girl out. I thought it would help. You know Holly's really sensitive about putting the moves on someone who's already in a relationship."
"But what happens if I ask Risa out and she says yes?"
"Then you go out."
"Holly's going to know you lied to her to clear the way for me."
"No she isn't. She's not that smart. Why do you care? You don't like her anyway."
"It doesn't matter."
"Catie. Relax. If you have to be neurotic about something, be neurotic about asking this girl out."
"What do I say? Alex didn't give me any advice because he thinks she's seeing someone already, thanks to you."
"Try 'Do you want to go out sometime?' It's not hard. Haven't you ever asked anyone out before?"
"You're going to laugh, but no."
"How did you get to be twenty-seven without ever asking anyone out on a date?"
"They always asked me. Risa's not going to ask me."
"Well, now that I've kindly gotten rid of your competition - "
"Holly's not my competition, Melody."
"Yes she is. Or was. As I was saying, I cleared a path for you so you can woman up and go 'Hey, Risa, do you want to go out for coffee on Wednesday'. Or whatever you want to do."
"I can't."
"Yes you can."
"What if she says no?"
"Then she says no. You go on with your life. What if she says yes?"
"Then we go out?"
"Then you go out! Seriously, Catie, it's not difficult. How many dates did you turn down?"
"One, but she was straight and asking me out as a joke."
"I don't think that's going to be an issue here. Ask her tomorrow, and then you can stop worrying about it and I can stop trying to help you. No, wait, I have a better idea. Call her now."
"Now?"
"Get it over with. It'll be like ripping off a Band-aid - a minute of pain, a lifetime of relief."
"But - "
"Don't 'but' me. Here's your phone. Call her. I'll even go in the other room so you can have some privacy."
"I hate you."
"I'm trying to help. Just call her, Catie."
"Ok. Ok. See, here's her number, I'm dialing. Go away."
"Good luck."
"What if she's not - uh. Hi, Risa. It's Catie...."