More Reviews
Game - Beyond Good & Evil
This has been simply the most fun I've had in ages. It's well-polished, the storyline is fairly good, and the side quests are brilliant. The real strength of the game lies in its characters. It is easy to be empathic with Jade's plight, Pey'J works great as a kind of friendly father figure and light comic relief, Double H is simply hilarious and Segundo works wonders as an imaginative AI voice for the inventory menus which can be so boring in other games. More importantly, Hillys feels like a real world and it has many intriguing quirks. The problems are there, though - it's a little too short and the world isn't quite as expansive as it leads you to believe. Still, it's a great game and a real star in an otherwise currently pretty pathetic market.
Rating : 5 stars.
Film - X-Men
Hmmm, it's the fact that they'd cast Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in this retelling of the X-Men myth that made me optimistic that it wouldn't just be a useless cash-in. Unfortunately it doesn't quite hit the mark, relying too much on tired action scenes and not emphasising the more interesting aspects of the X-Men concept - the mutant-human tension promises to be well done but it generally falls flat. The special effects are surprisingly dodgy too.
Rating : 1 star.
TV Pilot - Life As We Know It
I like characters who aren't nice. They're often far more interesting and dynamic than their straight out good-two-shoes characters. Give me George Mason, give me Robert Romano, give me Dennis Martino, give me Arvin Witne, give me Elim Garak, give me Londo Mollari, give me Vic Mackey, don't give me these three morons. Within the first minute or so we'd already established that they were in fact utter twats, and then I'm supposed to feel sorry for them because they can't get laid? It was pretty laughable, especially when they used the effect of characters talking to camera while slow motion stuff is happening in the background, which is unbelievably annoying. I would have given it thumbs up for realism because, let's face it, most teenagers ARE twats, but it spoiled it all with this stupid storyline about a teacher seducing one of her pupils. I was looking forward to her telling him to fuck off but instead she just gives him what he wants. Astonishing, Kelly Osbourne wasn't the worst actress on the show, but that's more a testament to the incompetence of the others rather than a compliment to her acting skills.
Rating : Nothing
TV Pilot - Lost
I had confidence in this because it's a JJ Abrams show, and I have a fair amount of respect for how he runs a tv show. Unfortunately I feared that while it might make an entertaining pilot it wouldn't transform into a tv show well. The opening wasn't brilliant (the entire saving injured people was rather contrived) but then it turned it all around with an intriguing flashback sequence and then the show just kept on chucking mysteries at us. What was the running on the plane? What caused it to crash? Why's the dude so obsessed with the toilet? There was a prisoner onboard, who was it? Honestly, it kept me guessing the whole way through and I literally can't wait for the next episode because I have no idea what's going on.
Rating : 5 stars
TV Pilot - Come To Papa
I expected worse from a show that was critically panned from all quarters. The first few minutes were terrible but it set up a surprisingly large number of running jokes some of which actually worked. Of course, you could see everything coming from two minutes before but that was the entertaining thing about it. It's not something I'd watch again and while it was terrible in some areas I've seen much, much worse.
Rating : 1 star
TV Pilot - Method & Red
You remember the much, much worse thing? Yup, this was it. Not only was it painfully unfunny but it actually managed to offend me on multiple occasions. Could they not come up with a better concept than The Fresh Prince? Could they not write better than 'cool' stereotypes? I was actually confused as to whether some of the things were supposed to be jokes because they just didn't seem to be funny in any way at all. Plus the entire thing was so unrealistic you couldn't take it seriously.
Rating : Nothing
TV Pilot - The Jury
This may be a by-the-numbers crime show but it's a surprisingly entertaining one. The jury was intriguing and I was easily caught up in the process. Admittedly that was mostly swearing about how rubbish the jurors were but I was invested in finding out how the crime actually occurred at the end. Plus for a show whose regulars aren't that prominent (several didn't appear at all in the pilot as far as I can tell) the regulars and recurring characters are built up well. I liked several of them even though they only showed up for about a minute. Promising, but the concept may get tired after a while.
Rating : 3 stars
TV Pilot - Desperate Housewives
This was something I wasn't expecting to enjoy, and therefore it's a bonus that I also found Teri Hatcher tolerable. It was a bit outlandish in parts but it worked in setting up a central mystery and the lives of the housewives being told by the dead character worked surprisingly well. I don't know if it can carry on for long though, if they resolve the storyline it will descend into stereotypical soap but if they prolong it too long they'll stretch the story too thinly. A limited series would work best.
Rating : 3 stars
This has been simply the most fun I've had in ages. It's well-polished, the storyline is fairly good, and the side quests are brilliant. The real strength of the game lies in its characters. It is easy to be empathic with Jade's plight, Pey'J works great as a kind of friendly father figure and light comic relief, Double H is simply hilarious and Segundo works wonders as an imaginative AI voice for the inventory menus which can be so boring in other games. More importantly, Hillys feels like a real world and it has many intriguing quirks. The problems are there, though - it's a little too short and the world isn't quite as expansive as it leads you to believe. Still, it's a great game and a real star in an otherwise currently pretty pathetic market.
Rating : 5 stars.
Film - X-Men
Hmmm, it's the fact that they'd cast Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in this retelling of the X-Men myth that made me optimistic that it wouldn't just be a useless cash-in. Unfortunately it doesn't quite hit the mark, relying too much on tired action scenes and not emphasising the more interesting aspects of the X-Men concept - the mutant-human tension promises to be well done but it generally falls flat. The special effects are surprisingly dodgy too.
Rating : 1 star.
TV Pilot - Life As We Know It
I like characters who aren't nice. They're often far more interesting and dynamic than their straight out good-two-shoes characters. Give me George Mason, give me Robert Romano, give me Dennis Martino, give me Arvin Witne, give me Elim Garak, give me Londo Mollari, give me Vic Mackey, don't give me these three morons. Within the first minute or so we'd already established that they were in fact utter twats, and then I'm supposed to feel sorry for them because they can't get laid? It was pretty laughable, especially when they used the effect of characters talking to camera while slow motion stuff is happening in the background, which is unbelievably annoying. I would have given it thumbs up for realism because, let's face it, most teenagers ARE twats, but it spoiled it all with this stupid storyline about a teacher seducing one of her pupils. I was looking forward to her telling him to fuck off but instead she just gives him what he wants. Astonishing, Kelly Osbourne wasn't the worst actress on the show, but that's more a testament to the incompetence of the others rather than a compliment to her acting skills.
Rating : Nothing
TV Pilot - Lost
I had confidence in this because it's a JJ Abrams show, and I have a fair amount of respect for how he runs a tv show. Unfortunately I feared that while it might make an entertaining pilot it wouldn't transform into a tv show well. The opening wasn't brilliant (the entire saving injured people was rather contrived) but then it turned it all around with an intriguing flashback sequence and then the show just kept on chucking mysteries at us. What was the running on the plane? What caused it to crash? Why's the dude so obsessed with the toilet? There was a prisoner onboard, who was it? Honestly, it kept me guessing the whole way through and I literally can't wait for the next episode because I have no idea what's going on.
Rating : 5 stars
TV Pilot - Come To Papa
I expected worse from a show that was critically panned from all quarters. The first few minutes were terrible but it set up a surprisingly large number of running jokes some of which actually worked. Of course, you could see everything coming from two minutes before but that was the entertaining thing about it. It's not something I'd watch again and while it was terrible in some areas I've seen much, much worse.
Rating : 1 star
TV Pilot - Method & Red
You remember the much, much worse thing? Yup, this was it. Not only was it painfully unfunny but it actually managed to offend me on multiple occasions. Could they not come up with a better concept than The Fresh Prince? Could they not write better than 'cool' stereotypes? I was actually confused as to whether some of the things were supposed to be jokes because they just didn't seem to be funny in any way at all. Plus the entire thing was so unrealistic you couldn't take it seriously.
Rating : Nothing
TV Pilot - The Jury
This may be a by-the-numbers crime show but it's a surprisingly entertaining one. The jury was intriguing and I was easily caught up in the process. Admittedly that was mostly swearing about how rubbish the jurors were but I was invested in finding out how the crime actually occurred at the end. Plus for a show whose regulars aren't that prominent (several didn't appear at all in the pilot as far as I can tell) the regulars and recurring characters are built up well. I liked several of them even though they only showed up for about a minute. Promising, but the concept may get tired after a while.
Rating : 3 stars
TV Pilot - Desperate Housewives
This was something I wasn't expecting to enjoy, and therefore it's a bonus that I also found Teri Hatcher tolerable. It was a bit outlandish in parts but it worked in setting up a central mystery and the lives of the housewives being told by the dead character worked surprisingly well. I don't know if it can carry on for long though, if they resolve the storyline it will descend into stereotypical soap but if they prolong it too long they'll stretch the story too thinly. A limited series would work best.
Rating : 3 stars