Aw, man.
I spent all day convinced it was Thursday. Like, SO COMMITTED. And it's Wednesday. And it was crazy cuz I was lamenting how the 3rd week is almost over, but now we still have a week and a half left! Crazy.
Audition workshop yesterday, it was helpful. For the rest of week we have study time and rehearsal, cuz we got our scenes for the final thing now!
We're going into the city Saturday to see Old Acquaintances and do a workshop! I am so, so excited. It's also frustrating cuz like... so close to home, yet so far. I was told that it'd be cool if my dad, Carrie, and babyyy came to visit, and then I was told no and I was kind of sad, and now I'm told there is a chance again! I really hope I can see them. I miss my baby girl so much. It'd be so nice to introduce her to everyone.
I was napping this afternoon, and didn't wake up to go to class. One of the counselors came in and like BANGED on the door like "Hey you wanna go to class now?!??!" But I didn't get a warning or dormed or anything, which is interesting cuz everyone has been getting dormed left and right.
I had a conversation today about what a great opportunity this is, and how some people might not know that. When I told someone that 7-800 kids auditioned, they were like shocked. I actually think everyone is on board with everything we're doing here. Most people bitch about the workload and the lack of freetime and claim to be bored during classes, and yea... sometimes, but so worth it. You know? I just think it's interesting that like some people are like "I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME AND SEE MY GIRLFRIEND, MY GIRLFRIEND" and it's like your girlfriend will be there when you get home, think about what you're doing NOW. I miss my friends, too. But in any case, this is like the most professional, trusting working relationship I've had with any group of people. There is mutual respect all around, and there isn't a person who wouldn't be on board for anything. It's so different. And refreshing.
Also, I've been thinking a lot about going home. Ie: not wanting to. Not that I don't miss my friends, I miss them a lot. But except the wonderful few people who keep me going there, what do I have at home right now? I'm so here. I haven't really thought life after NYSSSA yet. On Saturday during the celebrity dance party, I was sitting in the guys hallway with everyone, learning on Teri, listening to Will and Paul play the guitar. And I remember shutting my eyes, and having it suddenly creep over me, how happy I was and I didn't want to go home and let it go. I'd been very happy here, and it'd been in the back of my mind the whole time, and I'd talked about it with Marisa a few times late at night. But I was suddenly just taken by the feeling of how wonderful I felt, and I didn't want it to go away. And I asked myself, "How will I feel when all of this is a memory? How will I remember all of this?" And I told myself, "Well... open your eyes." And I did. And I'm trying so hard to hold on to everything here. I don't want it to end.
I think everyone's natural selves are coming out. Many claim to be so different at home. But once you're removed from the persona you've created for yourself elsewhere you're left with your natural self, right? Other parts of you start to leak out. I think I'm just about if not exactly the same here as I am at home. So I'm not one of the people struggling with that. But I think it's interesting.
Also, the voicey teacher figured out what's wrong with my voice, since it hasn't been working here. I already knew, but she put into words, so cool. I breathe from a shallow place, take too much air, and haven't run out of breath by the end of my sentences. She had me do my monologue while she physically forced the air out of my stomach. It was very challenging. So now I'm trying to be conscious of how I speak 24/7, but it's very stressful and a challenge. I'm working on it though.
I'm working hard.
Audition workshop yesterday, it was helpful. For the rest of week we have study time and rehearsal, cuz we got our scenes for the final thing now!
We're going into the city Saturday to see Old Acquaintances and do a workshop! I am so, so excited. It's also frustrating cuz like... so close to home, yet so far. I was told that it'd be cool if my dad, Carrie, and babyyy came to visit, and then I was told no and I was kind of sad, and now I'm told there is a chance again! I really hope I can see them. I miss my baby girl so much. It'd be so nice to introduce her to everyone.
I was napping this afternoon, and didn't wake up to go to class. One of the counselors came in and like BANGED on the door like "Hey you wanna go to class now?!??!" But I didn't get a warning or dormed or anything, which is interesting cuz everyone has been getting dormed left and right.
I had a conversation today about what a great opportunity this is, and how some people might not know that. When I told someone that 7-800 kids auditioned, they were like shocked. I actually think everyone is on board with everything we're doing here. Most people bitch about the workload and the lack of freetime and claim to be bored during classes, and yea... sometimes, but so worth it. You know? I just think it's interesting that like some people are like "I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME AND SEE MY GIRLFRIEND, MY GIRLFRIEND" and it's like your girlfriend will be there when you get home, think about what you're doing NOW. I miss my friends, too. But in any case, this is like the most professional, trusting working relationship I've had with any group of people. There is mutual respect all around, and there isn't a person who wouldn't be on board for anything. It's so different. And refreshing.
Also, I've been thinking a lot about going home. Ie: not wanting to. Not that I don't miss my friends, I miss them a lot. But except the wonderful few people who keep me going there, what do I have at home right now? I'm so here. I haven't really thought life after NYSSSA yet. On Saturday during the celebrity dance party, I was sitting in the guys hallway with everyone, learning on Teri, listening to Will and Paul play the guitar. And I remember shutting my eyes, and having it suddenly creep over me, how happy I was and I didn't want to go home and let it go. I'd been very happy here, and it'd been in the back of my mind the whole time, and I'd talked about it with Marisa a few times late at night. But I was suddenly just taken by the feeling of how wonderful I felt, and I didn't want it to go away. And I asked myself, "How will I feel when all of this is a memory? How will I remember all of this?" And I told myself, "Well... open your eyes." And I did. And I'm trying so hard to hold on to everything here. I don't want it to end.
I think everyone's natural selves are coming out. Many claim to be so different at home. But once you're removed from the persona you've created for yourself elsewhere you're left with your natural self, right? Other parts of you start to leak out. I think I'm just about if not exactly the same here as I am at home. So I'm not one of the people struggling with that. But I think it's interesting.
Also, the voicey teacher figured out what's wrong with my voice, since it hasn't been working here. I already knew, but she put into words, so cool. I breathe from a shallow place, take too much air, and haven't run out of breath by the end of my sentences. She had me do my monologue while she physically forced the air out of my stomach. It was very challenging. So now I'm trying to be conscious of how I speak 24/7, but it's very stressful and a challenge. I'm working on it though.
I'm working hard.