the long lost lucy conversation
i was watching the news and started thinking this would be a much better world if there were no men in it....hold on, hold on, before you start thinking this is going to be a post full of man-bashing, give me a minute!!! patience patience....ok.. so i was thinking if there were no men around there'd be no rape, no hitlers, kim jong ils, stalins, bin ladins, dahmers, etc, etc.. the child molestation rate would go down by like 99%, violent crime would go down astronomically, there'd be no big world wars.... i admit there'd be a lot more squirmishes though because women are catty but after a few days and someone died it would be like "hey hey hey!!! this is getting serious now! what the hell? they shot lisa!!! forget it!! time out time out!!!! go on, forget it, take france, we don't want it anyway"... and so there i sat thinking of how nice it would be without all that unpleasantness but then i also started to think if men weren't around we'd still be living in caves... cause let's face it ladies, it's the men that go out and do all the chopping down wood and exploring and climbing things... we'd rather just sit by the fire eating berries...to hell with mapping the new world... i'm not getting my ass on a little rickety wooden boat and being at sea for months getting scurvy in the hopes of finding something or for trading a bit of sugar, thank you....or treking for years through the arctic with only beef jerky and hard biscuits to sustain me either.... now i don't want to be totally unfair, there are some women out there who are adventurous and would take on a dangerous trek but not nearly as many as the men and it takes thousands of people to try something before someone actually succeeds at it... and in the process countless of those men die... no no no we'd all still be living in caves and every once in a while there'd be some diesel dyke sort who would try to get some of the other women to go see what's on the other side of a mountain or something but she wouldn't succeed, she'd have to go on her own because i can just hear that conversation:
cavewoman 1: come on!! let's go see what's on the other side of that mountain, that huge huge one over there
cavewoman 2: what? what for?
cavewoman 1: to see what's over there... we've never been...there could be anything over there..
cavewoman 2: oh really now? hey becky, becky.. listen to this nut....girl, you are crazy..uh uh..and what? mess up my new mammoth-fur coat? it took 80 of us just to kill that one and it was a baby and you saw what it did to betty, girl, she is tore up! ... no thank you, i'm fine here eating my berries, go on then, go yourself stupid.
cavewoman 1: *sigh*
so i guess you just have to take the good with the bad.