The Light
Tenderness...
Warmth...
Hope...
It filled me to the brink. Feelings I thought I had lost. Something long forgotten. When it left, I don't know. But as hard as it hit when it came back, you'd think it had been a lifetime. I learned to smile again. At times, so much my entire face hurt. I cried... but only from laughing so hard. And I slept. A calm sleep without dreams, not the fitful sleep that came from mental exhaustion. Peace. That's what it was! Peace in my heart. Peace in my mind. And peace in my soul. It was wonderful and made me a little nervous at the same time. What if my world crashed again? What if this was the dream and I woke to find that everything was a mess again? That my life had no meaning and no one cared?
No....
NO!!!
I refuse to let it take over. I will be strong. I won't let it win. If nothing else, because I need to believe. I need to hold onto this feeling. I need.... I need to live.
So I reach for the light, keeping my eyes open this time. Because if I close them... then the light goes away and darkness will steal away everything I worked so hard to find.
Warmth...
Hope...
It filled me to the brink. Feelings I thought I had lost. Something long forgotten. When it left, I don't know. But as hard as it hit when it came back, you'd think it had been a lifetime. I learned to smile again. At times, so much my entire face hurt. I cried... but only from laughing so hard. And I slept. A calm sleep without dreams, not the fitful sleep that came from mental exhaustion. Peace. That's what it was! Peace in my heart. Peace in my mind. And peace in my soul. It was wonderful and made me a little nervous at the same time. What if my world crashed again? What if this was the dream and I woke to find that everything was a mess again? That my life had no meaning and no one cared?
No....
NO!!!
I refuse to let it take over. I will be strong. I won't let it win. If nothing else, because I need to believe. I need to hold onto this feeling. I need.... I need to live.
So I reach for the light, keeping my eyes open this time. Because if I close them... then the light goes away and darkness will steal away everything I worked so hard to find.