July!
yay! First post for July! I can't believe that days are quickly passing. A lot of things happened in my student life and major decisions were made. I can't believe that I passed a lot tribulations to get where I am now. June 2012 saw a lot of changes in my life - my university transfer, new school adjustments, and eventual acceptance (almost there!).
This afternoon, I dreamed of something really symbolical which is a reflection of my worries. I dreamed that I was in my new school(Adamson), waiting for another class. Then I decided to go out of the premises. Going down the staircase, I discovered that my old classmates from UP (a lot of them!) were visiting the area and we will definitely collide with each other. Not knowing what to do, I tried to hide somewhere(I can't remember). I thought I already passed them but a classmate of mine saw me. It's ironical because that classmate also decided to change schools but everyone knows about it unlike me. I begged her to be quiet but she called the attention of my other classmates. Desperate, I ran quickly but they already saw me and and they keep on following me...well that's the end of my dream. I woke up because of the noise my roommates were making.
After waking up, I realized how afraid I am for them to learn my status - that I decided to go to a 2nd rate university from the best university in the country,well, I'm just exaggerating. Remember, I even lied in a panic about my school before. I'm still coming to terms with my self in accepting my decision. Pride is the reason for this and now, I'm trying to do something about it.
I know that I need to change my attitude because it won't be a good thing to linger in the past. I know I need to move on, because that is the only way to achieve my goals. I can still go back and invalidate everything but that would be a waste of time and money. I know that I'm still being blinded by the name and prestige of graduating from UP. And I'm not getting any younger, I'm turning 19 this August! ^_^
PS. I have already finished watching Q10, but I'm too absorbed in reading yaoi right now that I keep on forgetting about it. ^_^
This afternoon, I dreamed of something really symbolical which is a reflection of my worries. I dreamed that I was in my new school(Adamson), waiting for another class. Then I decided to go out of the premises. Going down the staircase, I discovered that my old classmates from UP (a lot of them!) were visiting the area and we will definitely collide with each other. Not knowing what to do, I tried to hide somewhere(I can't remember). I thought I already passed them but a classmate of mine saw me. It's ironical because that classmate also decided to change schools but everyone knows about it unlike me. I begged her to be quiet but she called the attention of my other classmates. Desperate, I ran quickly but they already saw me and and they keep on following me...well that's the end of my dream. I woke up because of the noise my roommates were making.
After waking up, I realized how afraid I am for them to learn my status - that I decided to go to a 2nd rate university from the best university in the country,well, I'm just exaggerating. Remember, I even lied in a panic about my school before. I'm still coming to terms with my self in accepting my decision. Pride is the reason for this and now, I'm trying to do something about it.
I know that I need to change my attitude because it won't be a good thing to linger in the past. I know I need to move on, because that is the only way to achieve my goals. I can still go back and invalidate everything but that would be a waste of time and money. I know that I'm still being blinded by the name and prestige of graduating from UP. And I'm not getting any younger, I'm turning 19 this August! ^_^
PS. I have already finished watching Q10, but I'm too absorbed in reading yaoi right now that I keep on forgetting about it. ^_^