I am SO angry with myself.

[trying2recover]

So I did REALLY well on my intake today. Less than 500 calories.

UNTIL I went out with friends for drinks.
I had 2 margaritas and 1 rum & coke.

I should have looked up the fucking calories before I ordered the drinks.

Yet I’m still not sure exactly how many calories the drinks have. Online, the estimated caloric value of a margarita ranges between 170ish to 550ish. What the fuck? That’s a huge fucking difference.

And now I know that I am going to weigh more when I get on that scale tomorrow.

I’m so pissed off.

I didn’t even get a buzz! How did I not get a buzz? I’ve eaten hardly anything all fucking week and three mixed drinks didn’t even give me a buzz.

What a waste of money AND calories.

I want to cut so badly.
I want to punish myself.

I don’t want to work all weekend.
I don’t want to go to classes, even though I only have two weeks left.
I have a lot to do in those 2 weeks.

I AM SO PISSED OFF AT MYSELF!
UGHHHHH!

I just want to cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.