"So and so..."
You know what I find reaaaalllly funny?
People that don't know themselves well enough to know when they're being overdramatic and immature (to the point of annoyance).
So... had this relationship... it was pretty good while it lasted, but it wasn't working. In the words of Usher... had to let it burn. I mean, it just WASN'T working, right? And what do you do when things aren't working? You sit on them for awhile, wait and see what happens... see if in a few weeks things start to get better or if indeed there really is a serious problem. I couldn't tell if it was me - there was a lot going on... I was unhappy in general. But no, come to find out it was the relationship. Nothing that "so and so" wasn't "doing right" per say. It just wasn't working. I will say there were some really good points. Great moments. But how do you build a relationship off of good points and great moments. It was too hard... we both had to work too hard and in the end I think I found it wasn't worth it. I wasn't happy... and neither was "so and so". So it was hard. It was hard being in the relationship but even harder to end it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt "so and so"... because they really didn't deserve it, by any means. But at the same time, it had to come down to my own hapiness and what I was going to be able to live with in the end. I talked with lots of people to make sure I wasn't over-reacting... make sure I was doing the right thing. And pretty much everyone attested to the fact that if you're not happy... it needs to end. So I had to let it go. And I did. And it wasn't easy... I didn't look forward to it, but I did it. It needed to be done.
So it's some odd weeks earlier and the drama is still coming (in some way or another). At first it was e-mails and phone calls and text messages... "I love you..." "I hate you..." those kind. And now it's gotten more sneaky with blog entries on myspace and forward jokes about me. The thing is... I tried to understand, in the beginning. Giving "so and so" the benefit of the doubt because they were hurting... and it was understandable to need time and act irrationally in the beginning stages of the break-up. Ok. That was fine. Despite the hurtful, mean things said about me... friends that wouldn't be talking to me anymore... lines about other girls and how "so and so" had gotten numbers and was going out all the time like they used to before they met me.
Here's my thing. I didn't set out to change anyone. Am I wrong to think that when you're in a relationship with someone, it requires committment? I mean, I sure as hell am not going to go out every night and get drunk, take numbers and lap dance with someone else if I'm claiming to be nuts about my significant other. It's kind of an oxymoron. And the big deal being made now is how much "so and so" CHANGED for me. I gotta think it's not healthy to be out sleeping with random chics and hooking up with someone different once a week to begin with. But while you're with someone? I guess being in a relationship would HAVE to change that pattern in anyone's life. Am I wrong? Sleeping around = not appealing to me. But whatever... that's how some people roll I guess. That's just how some people roll.
Bottom line of all this is that I'm definitely (now more than ever) glad I cut it off. After putting up with the shit "so and so" has dealt me in the weeks following our break-up... I'm glad I finally got to see some true colors. And those colors definitely spelled DRAMA. To a "t".
So why am I writing this? Because... I guess I've been feeling like I need to send some words out into the void to get across that I am not the bad guy. I didn't set out to destroy anyone... I didn't do anything especially evil which caused the relationship to end and I certainly am not going to feel bad now for moving on with my life. I've tried to be cordial... tried to be nice... even put up with a whole lot of bullshit for the sake of making "so and so" feel like they had the upperhand. But I'm tired of the drama. And trust me, I will never go back. No more games...
And... finally... to "so and so" (whether you happen upon this entry or not)... if it makes you feel better to sneakily put me down publicly... then enjoy it. I am the last person who will care. I laugh at your jokes and your snide comments along with everyone else who has no idea what went on between us. If it helps you get past this then keep 'em coming. Just as long as I'm watching from the sidelines.
People that don't know themselves well enough to know when they're being overdramatic and immature (to the point of annoyance).
So... had this relationship... it was pretty good while it lasted, but it wasn't working. In the words of Usher... had to let it burn. I mean, it just WASN'T working, right? And what do you do when things aren't working? You sit on them for awhile, wait and see what happens... see if in a few weeks things start to get better or if indeed there really is a serious problem. I couldn't tell if it was me - there was a lot going on... I was unhappy in general. But no, come to find out it was the relationship. Nothing that "so and so" wasn't "doing right" per say. It just wasn't working. I will say there were some really good points. Great moments. But how do you build a relationship off of good points and great moments. It was too hard... we both had to work too hard and in the end I think I found it wasn't worth it. I wasn't happy... and neither was "so and so". So it was hard. It was hard being in the relationship but even harder to end it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt "so and so"... because they really didn't deserve it, by any means. But at the same time, it had to come down to my own hapiness and what I was going to be able to live with in the end. I talked with lots of people to make sure I wasn't over-reacting... make sure I was doing the right thing. And pretty much everyone attested to the fact that if you're not happy... it needs to end. So I had to let it go. And I did. And it wasn't easy... I didn't look forward to it, but I did it. It needed to be done.
So it's some odd weeks earlier and the drama is still coming (in some way or another). At first it was e-mails and phone calls and text messages... "I love you..." "I hate you..." those kind. And now it's gotten more sneaky with blog entries on myspace and forward jokes about me. The thing is... I tried to understand, in the beginning. Giving "so and so" the benefit of the doubt because they were hurting... and it was understandable to need time and act irrationally in the beginning stages of the break-up. Ok. That was fine. Despite the hurtful, mean things said about me... friends that wouldn't be talking to me anymore... lines about other girls and how "so and so" had gotten numbers and was going out all the time like they used to before they met me.
Here's my thing. I didn't set out to change anyone. Am I wrong to think that when you're in a relationship with someone, it requires committment? I mean, I sure as hell am not going to go out every night and get drunk, take numbers and lap dance with someone else if I'm claiming to be nuts about my significant other. It's kind of an oxymoron. And the big deal being made now is how much "so and so" CHANGED for me. I gotta think it's not healthy to be out sleeping with random chics and hooking up with someone different once a week to begin with. But while you're with someone? I guess being in a relationship would HAVE to change that pattern in anyone's life. Am I wrong? Sleeping around = not appealing to me. But whatever... that's how some people roll I guess. That's just how some people roll.
Bottom line of all this is that I'm definitely (now more than ever) glad I cut it off. After putting up with the shit "so and so" has dealt me in the weeks following our break-up... I'm glad I finally got to see some true colors. And those colors definitely spelled DRAMA. To a "t".
So why am I writing this? Because... I guess I've been feeling like I need to send some words out into the void to get across that I am not the bad guy. I didn't set out to destroy anyone... I didn't do anything especially evil which caused the relationship to end and I certainly am not going to feel bad now for moving on with my life. I've tried to be cordial... tried to be nice... even put up with a whole lot of bullshit for the sake of making "so and so" feel like they had the upperhand. But I'm tired of the drama. And trust me, I will never go back. No more games...
And... finally... to "so and so" (whether you happen upon this entry or not)... if it makes you feel better to sneakily put me down publicly... then enjoy it. I am the last person who will care. I laugh at your jokes and your snide comments along with everyone else who has no idea what went on between us. If it helps you get past this then keep 'em coming. Just as long as I'm watching from the sidelines.