(no subject)
it's been a month and four days since doug and i started to offically date. we met in january, and i thought he was so attractive. it was new years eve, at jess' house. i was sleeping over that night and she had her friend dan come over. i thought dan was cute too, but not as cute as doug. but, dan told me he was gay and i still was in love with jon so i didnt really give him a second thought. i wanted to hookup with him but then i also heard a rumor that he was a sex-addict and i didnt want to have sex with him either, so i left it. we talked occasionally, on myspace and a couple times on aim. but then he messaged me and asked why we lost contact. i had only met him once, and then once i saw him in my job and he didnt even say hi to me so i figured he had forgottan about me. i guess not. anyway, we talked on aim and he asked for my number so that he could text me while he was bored at school, so i gave it to him. to my suprise, he actaully did text me. then we hung out and it really wasnt awkward at all like i was expecting. at first, i viewed him as just a friend but then we started to hang out more and more and he finally admitted to having a crush on me. i knew that our relationship could turn into more so instead of telling him the truth, which was that i only saw him as a friend, i played along and told him i had a crush on him, too. we hung out more and more and i really did start to devolp feelings for him. then we had our first kiss. it was really cute, and after that i fell so hard for him. that night was the night we made it offical. i didnt think i'd be dating him for long, infact, i thought the relationship would already be over. i guess i'm wrong, so far. we hang out all the time and we fight sometimes too but the good times definatly over rule the bad. he told me he loved me and i love him too. he's really everything to me. all he wants is to see me happy. whether that means he's miserable or not. he respects me and he knows me really well. he knows me weak points and my strong ones. he knows what i'm thinking and what i'm not. he knows so much about me and this boy is my world. i've never been in love before and now that i am i want to go to the highest mountian i can find and just scream it out loud and show everyone what an amazing boyfriend i have. what a wonderful life i'm living with him in it. i know things are eventually going to end one day because we're at a really tender age. he's 18, and i'm 17. we can't be together forever, it just wont happen. i know i'm going to look back at this and cry and miss him so so much. i know i'll always have this boy in my heart, and i know i'll always be in his. i love this boy, and nothing will never change that.