Week 17
Truth: Talk about something you want but are uncomfortable discussing with others.
Family. It wasn't something she'd been accustomed to, her own proving to be more screwed up than it was worth. Her first watcher had been worth loving, and she'd been killed. When she'd met Buffy she'd fully expected someone like her. Alone, lonely, maybe misunderstood. She hadn't assumed they would be best friends and braid each others hair, but she'd thought that maybe, for two seconds, there would be someone she could connect with. Imagine her surprise when not only did Buffy have a mother, a Watcher/Father figure, but an entire gang to back her up and fight with her. She had a family.
And Faith coveted it.
When she ended up working for the Mayor, well, it was a messed up time for her; but he was family. He looked at her the way Giles never did, that was just reserved for Buffy. He made her feel safe, wanted, loved... everything she'd needed and had been missing. She didn't have to try to be perfect, she just had to be herself- until it all fell apart.
After the showdown with Angel and her turn with the redeemed, there was still something missing. She played by the rules now, at least, most of the time- but she still wanted more. She'd see people holding hands, or mothers playing with babies, and she'd ache. They were able to find that deeper connection that she found herself craving. Maybe she chased away almost everyone that had tried to get close to her. It stung like a bitch when they left you, so it was safer not to let them in, in the first place. Maybe she couldn't keep a goldfish alive much less another person. Not like slaying gave you maternity leave anyway, and wouldn't she just be damning whatever hypothetical kid she might hypothetically have to some hypothetically hellish existence? Didn't stop her from wanting it.
It wasn't like she was going to tell anyone. She was Faith. Faith didn't need anybody. Not friends, not kids, not family. She was a badass. She was a Slayer.
Truth was, she was lonely.
Character: Faith Lehane
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/ Angel the Series
Word Count: 363
Family. It wasn't something she'd been accustomed to, her own proving to be more screwed up than it was worth. Her first watcher had been worth loving, and she'd been killed. When she'd met Buffy she'd fully expected someone like her. Alone, lonely, maybe misunderstood. She hadn't assumed they would be best friends and braid each others hair, but she'd thought that maybe, for two seconds, there would be someone she could connect with. Imagine her surprise when not only did Buffy have a mother, a Watcher/Father figure, but an entire gang to back her up and fight with her. She had a family.
And Faith coveted it.
When she ended up working for the Mayor, well, it was a messed up time for her; but he was family. He looked at her the way Giles never did, that was just reserved for Buffy. He made her feel safe, wanted, loved... everything she'd needed and had been missing. She didn't have to try to be perfect, she just had to be herself- until it all fell apart.
After the showdown with Angel and her turn with the redeemed, there was still something missing. She played by the rules now, at least, most of the time- but she still wanted more. She'd see people holding hands, or mothers playing with babies, and she'd ache. They were able to find that deeper connection that she found herself craving. Maybe she chased away almost everyone that had tried to get close to her. It stung like a bitch when they left you, so it was safer not to let them in, in the first place. Maybe she couldn't keep a goldfish alive much less another person. Not like slaying gave you maternity leave anyway, and wouldn't she just be damning whatever hypothetical kid she might hypothetically have to some hypothetically hellish existence? Didn't stop her from wanting it.
It wasn't like she was going to tell anyone. She was Faith. Faith didn't need anybody. Not friends, not kids, not family. She was a badass. She was a Slayer.
Truth was, she was lonely.
Character: Faith Lehane
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/ Angel the Series
Word Count: 363