(no subject)

[trustinginfaith]

I love how you can't talk to me, but you can post about it.
I love that I feel like a jackass for no reason.
I love how I'm the only one that matters. A double standard. somehow.
I love when people dont tell it to me straight. Don't tell me full truths. Outright lie to me.
I love that I sort of like a "bad boy" again and am now frustrated at myself since I know I can't have him.
I love when a guy smells so good, is clean shaven, has gorgeous hair.
I love when I can't do anything about that.
I love that I have to be careful around a best friend. Walk on eggshells. Avoid land mines.
I love that you STILL aren't calling me back.
I love that you're lying to me too. I just know it.
I love that I'm getting nothing done, that I'm running out of time, and that I'm working these crappy shifts.
I love that I know I can never hug you the same way, hold you the same way ever again.
I love how it kills me that I can't just hold on to you and tell you everything will be alright even though dont know that.
I love that I still want to.
I love that I'm so stupid.
I love how I told myself I wasnt going to write this.