Unsent...
Dear everyone,
I know how useless I've been these past months. I know.
I know I haven't been there and if I have I've been useless.
I know I haven't spoken to anyone as much as I should have done, or appreciated you all as much as I should have. I've failed socially this past little while. And more than that.
Lots of big things have been getting in the way, even more so than usual and I haven't got around to doing anything I promised, supporting the people I need to or even just acting like I care.
I've felt really selfish, which is sort of what I have been. But I don't know how to include other people when everything I do seems difficult.
However, I must be near the top of this goddamn hill soon, and when I get there I intend to see how much of me I can piece back together. I intend to sort through the backlog of things I should have done and haven't, and to try as best I can to remove or ignore this lost feeling and to do the things I should and want to. Things I've recently just given up on.
I promise I'll try to be me again soon. As soon as I am you're all invited to the party.
Dear you,
I know things are awkward between us sometimes, I mostly blame my complete lack of social skills, but I'm so glad we keep trying anyway and I promise to make more of an effort.
Please please know that you don't have to hide anything from me, nothing, nada, zip. I love you, I really do; every weird little part of you. I don't care if you are illegally importing heroin or sexually attracted to skunks, bring the wall down and let someone in.
I think I'm worried about us, I so hope I don't have to be
Dear you,
I'm being stiff upper-lippy and so are you. I some ways I wish we'd both get over it and tell each other how okay it's going to be. Maybe our ways best.
I hope you know how awesome I think you are- how awesome you are.
Dear you,
I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you. I'm sorry you need me and I haven't been there on the phone. I've been completely inadequate for a long while now.
I will try to be a better friend, I swear.
Dear you,
Can I keep you?
No? Well, I didn't think so... but still...
It would have been inappropriate to say 'you look gorgeous too', but of course you did.
Always...