why me....
Why do I always seem to hurt him and get him upset....I wish i had a switch whenever i start to hurt him or upset the switch will go off and alarm me that i'm being a fuckin duche bag....I can't take the fights anymore. I want things to be like they were when we first started going out. Happy and cheerful, loving one another with no bickering back and forth, getting upset at one another for the dumbest reasons....I wish i could go back to when i was starting to fall asleep on his bed and wake myself up....I hate when i do that...I hate myself for a lot of reasons but that particular reason for making matt unhappy is what i hate myself the most for making him go through all this stupid shit i put him through...I really do hate myself right now *tear*.....I dunno what else to do to get myself to stop. I wish i could so i can stop the vicious cycle...but i have an early class tomorrow that i need to wake up for night journal...