Anything? No? Nothing? No?
Well, I was going to start this post like 20 minutes ago, but Chye-Ann decided she absolutely MUST have loves right NOW. So, yeah. She isn't subtle. She literally attatches herself to your face, licks your eyeball, and dares you to breathe. She's like a Tribble or something! Never should have spoiled her so much as a baby (I think getting her used to chest kisses may have been the downfall of us all). Ah, well. *shrug*
Anyway, I've got a mountain of stuff here: a Doctor Who commentary that I'm finally getting around to, but am still nowhere near close to being caught up on even writing them; a -surprise!- Top Gear commentary (I KNOW, RIGHT?!); and whatever else my frakked up computer will let me do before it makes keyboard useage completely impossible and starts smoking or something.
Okay. First, I think I'll post the OhMyGawd HowLateIsThis?!?! "Last Of The Time Lords" comments. I know, I know. I sicken myself. And now I get to sicken you!! :D
I warn you, some of this is just ... gibberish, really. I wrote this SO long ago, I don't remember what I meant by some of these things, so please forgive the nonsense.
ooh- cute! who is cute lantern boy? hey! MarthA! She no happy?
Tom Milligan. hm.
one year exactly.
walked America
only 1 who got out of Japan alive. yikes.
"Isn't it good? Anything? No, anything??" hee. I love John Simm as The Master. He's so perfect.
"They broke your hearts, didn't they?"
"Martha Jones has come back home."
"I have one thing to say to you- you know what it is." I DON'T!! TELL ME!!
3 fingers? wtf? ooh! I knew it- something!! YAY CONSPIRACY!!
Jack and his fish&chips. yum. hee.
woah- big Master stone thing.
War with the rest of the universe. w o w. Russia is launch 1. mmKay.
"Anything else I should know?" "I've met Shakespeare." hee!
A Doctor? Mm.
So... the Toclafane are creepy.
cool! Keep Martha secret. {whaaat? this be one of those gibberishnesses}
Psychic transmision.
Unnoticable.
uhh, honey, genetic transfer...
nearly 3pm. OH! The 3 thing!!
That looks wrong. The lazer.
gasp! He beat his wife!!
Poor Martha's mom.
"There you go, Gramps." heh.
Medusa Cascade rift sealed.
"Just need you to listen."
Wire cutters. Handy.
"This is Martha Jones."
"She could be the Queen of Sheba for all I care, I'm still busy." {hey! I was her once! ;P }
A plural for wha? "Des"?
"Countdown"- a Brit show, I assume. "Oh, god, I miss Countdown. Never been the same since Des took over. Both Deses. What' the plural for Des? Desi? Deseen?"
Eve of War. Lovely woman.
A Child walking the Earth, giving you hope.
Say hello, Gandolf. ;P
Stunted little apes- heh.
Suspend ability to regenerate? WTF?! 900 years, OMG!!
Okay, me is not happy- and Jack looks absoluely devistated. Good lord, he's breaking me.
Um. Teeny Lump In Big Clothes??
EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG?!!!!??!!!
heh- the look on the Master's face @ Teeny!Doctor. Kinda the look I had, minus the creeped out horror, but, yeah...
ThAT's the spirit, Martha! Still alive!!
Archangel network. Weakness? I thought he made it? Wh- grrrr.
It keeps people scared. Take out the 15 satelites & ... what? They get un-scared?
Not "Toclofane". I knew that. How- oh, yeah, I'm a spoiler whore for this season. nm.
Brought down by lightning strike!?
cool.
"Who'd ever thought we'd miss Bill Gates?" heh.
Weapon?
510megajoules.
Recreate the wha? MKay. Too much real smart science for my dead brain.
Don't open it until it's all-dead! Didn't you see The Princess Bride?!
Why is his wife so... clingy? What's she on? Where are the bruises from like three scenes ago?
WHY IS THE DOCTOR TINY, IN A TINY!DOCTOR SUIT ALL BEING TINY AND KINDA YUCKY AND IN A FRAKKING CAGE?! What, he's a canary??
Bracatolian space.
New Gallifrey. Maybe then it stops.
The drumming. Ever since he was a child & looked into the vortex he's heard it. It 'chose' him- a call to war. He doesn't get why the Doctor doesn't hear it. ~Maybe it's because he's TOO TINY to hear it grrrr~
Doing it for them- the Toclofane? Why does the Doctor love them so very very much? He loves humans, right? Wh- I's losted. Mayhap I's should have been spoiled a bit more? Or a whole lot less?
I wouldn't take off those goggles.
WTF?
"Sweet, kind Martha Jones. you helped us to fly. You led us to salvation." um, yay? "The skies are made of diamonds".
cute blonde kid- says 'The skies are made of diamonds'
ohmygod.
They got them up and out of Planet Death and sent away to "Utopia" and now they're creepy heads in metal balls of flying doom?? Why are they mean??
They share their memories. mkay. I- wh- So, they're the human race from the time after the end of the universe, yeah? And this is what Utopia made them? I'm thinking we've got differing views on Utopian society and life.
"I took Lucy to Utopia. A Time Lord and his companion. I took her to see the stars." [I never thought of that. She sort of was/is his companion. I didn't know they did that- you know, other than The Doctor. Or was that mockage and I missed it? I dunno. Simm is so awesome and subtle and graceful in this role; I'm really in, well, awe.]
"Trillians of years into the future, to the end of the universe."
"Tell him what you saw."
"Dying. Everything dying. The whole of creation was faling apart, and I thought, there's no point. No point to anything. Not ever." Odd how Martha and Jack didn't come away with those feelings...
"And it's all your fault."
Do not be blaming Tiny!Doctor for this! He's got enough guilt as it is.
"I'd sort of worked it out with the paradox machine. Cuz The Doctor said, on the day before The Master came to power, he said, "When he was stealing the TARDIS the only thing I could do was fuse the coordinates. I locked them permanently. He can only travel between the year 100trillian and the last place the TARDIS landed, which is right here, right now." The Master had the TARDIS. This time machine. But the only other place he could go was the end of the universe, so he found Utopia."
"You should have seen it Doctor. Furnaces. Burning. The last of humanity screaming at the dark."
"The Utopia project was the last hope. Trying to escape the end of everything."
"There were no diamonds, no solutions. Just the dark and the cold." hm. Creepyhead sounds a bit miffed.
Master: "All that human invention that had sustained them across the eons, it all turned inward- they cannibalized themselves."
Toclofane: "We made ourselves so pretty." -ew ew ew ewwww-
Master: "Regressing into children. But it didn't work. The universe was collapsing around them."
Open Toclofane: "Then the Master came, with his wonderful time machine." -um, not HIS, tyvvvm.- "To bring us back home."
Docherty: "But that's a paradox. If you're the future of the human race, and you've come back to murder your ancesters, you should cancel yourselves out. You shouldn't exist."
Martha: "And that's the paradox machine."
Master: My masterpiece, Doctor. A living TARDIS strong enough to hold the paradox in place, allowing the past and the future to collide in infinite majesty."
Tiny!Doctor: But you're changing history. Not just Earth, the entire universe.
Master: I'm a Time Lord. I have that right.
Tiny!Doctor: But even then, why come all this way just to destroy?
Toclofane: We come backwards in time all to build a brand new empire, lasting 100trillian years." -mmkay. what then?-
Master: With me as their Master. Humans and Time Lord combined- haven't you always dreamt of that, Doctor?
Tom: What about us? We're the same species, why do you kill so many of us?
Open Toclofane: Because it's fun! *creeepy, sociopathic, bad-seed laughter*
Master: Human Race - greatest monsters of them all. ... 'night then. -and he's absolutely right. sad how it takes a villian to show us so much truth.-
Tom: "All we need is to get close, I can shoot the master dead with this."
Docherty: "Actually, You can put that down now, thank you very much." -hee!-
Martha: "Point is, it's not so easy to kill a Time Lord. They can regenerate. Literally bring themselves back to life."
Docherty: "Wonderful. The Master's immortal."
Martha: "Except for this. Four chemicals slotted into this gun, inject him, kills a Time Lord permanently."
She's got three. Traveled the world to get them (scattered for safe-keeping. Torchwood, I presume? Or maybe not, since they're sort of the antiDoctor... or they were. Also, probably wouldn't do very well at it... ;P ).
San Diego, Bejing, Budapest & London.
An old UNIT base in North London.
Aside from the wild, flesh eating dogs seems like a lovely stroll in the terrifying pitch-blackness of Creepy Alt!Earth Master's Death World: London.
"You don't look like a killer to me." the look Martha gives- she seems to say, too late?
I KNEW IT!! (Not in the sense that I had any idea what was going on, but I knew there was something I didn't know!) She just seemed... weird in the last scene. What about her son? Who is he? *random, uninvited theories crash into her like a freaking tidal wave- ranging from Jack (ha!) to the Master (oy vey), to that tocloface (i swear, i'm insane)... i'm dying here!*
ooh! story time.
Radiation pits of Europe? yummy.
He never walks the Earth, huh? snob.
"He walkes among us- our Lord and Master."
Okay, he's kinda funny. "I can seee youu!" all squeeky. heh.
Hide Martha! :/
"Anybody? Anything? Nobody? No?" I kind of love John Simm.
"What would the Doctor do?" he's mocking, but it's kind of a strengthening thing, I think. Also, I want something that says that on it.
Brave Martha.
OMGOMGOMG- d- he just... :( :( :'''(
Make The Doctor watch? How... stupid of him.
ooh!@ Jack!!
Teleport device? groovy.
Kneel? Frak no.
200,000 ships burning the universe. fun fun.
Black hole converters.
"Never could resist a ticking clock." hee.
"My first blood."
"Any last words. No? Such a disapointment, this one. Days of old, Doctor, you had companions who could absorb the Time Vortex. This one's useless. Bow your head." -how did he know about that? would the Doctor tell him? I don't think he would, but... I don't know, what do you think? Theories, conjectures, randomly chosen words to make me laugh or confused?-
"A new order of Time Lords." Aaaaand, she's laughing. (?_?)
"A gun?"
"What about it?"
"A gun in four parts."
"Yes?? And I destroyed it."
"A gun in four parts scattered across the world, I mean, come on, did you really believe that?"
"What do you mean?"
"As if I would ask her to kill." -*doodles hearts around that considerably angry, disappointed Tiny!Doctor quote*-
"Oh, well. Doesn't matter. I've got her exactly where I want her."
"But I Knew what prof.Docherty would do. (cool!) The Resistance knew about her son." ~"Know your enemy."~ Again, I must interject a GROOVY here.
"But you're still gonna die!"
"Don't you want to know what I was doing- travelling the world?"
"Tell me." He's a really good actor.
"I told a story. That's all. No weapons, just words. I did just what The Doctor said. I went across the continents, all on my own, and everywhere I went I found people and I told them my story. I told him about the Doctor. I told them to pass it on, spread the word so that everyone would know about the Doctor."
"Faith and hope, is that all?"
"No. Cuz I gave them an instruction." She stands up- I do love defiance. "Just as the Doctor said. ~"Use the countdown."~ I told them that if everyone thinks of one word at one specific time..."
"Nothing will happen! Is that your weapon? Prayer?"
"Right across the world, one word just one thought at one moment, but with 15 satelites" ooh- that got his attention.
"What?"
"The Archangel Network" oh, hello Jack! Good to see you.
"A telepathic field, binding the whole human race together with all of them- every single person on earth- thinking the same thing at the same time, and that word is "Doctor"."
*blink* um, it is? Where's my memo on this? I'm not getting all my memos. :(
Also? Really? That's all you could think of? *eyebrow & grumble*
Why is my Doctor glowing? Seriously, he's all ... glowy. and blue. And if he's gonna go back to regular size, he's gonna need to get out of that cage first.
"I've had a whole year to tune myself into the network and integrate with it's matraces."
"I order you to stop!" yeah. good try.
"The one think you can't do is stop them thinking." ooh! Pretty Doctor!! YAY!!:D:D
"Tell me the human race is degenerate now, when they can do this." They can make gorgeous guys glow and fly and be all... *loses sense cuz of the pretty* I'd like to see that race!
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." why?
"Then I'll kill them!" And, there goes your laser screwdriver (which is way harder to write, I might add), cuz apparently he can now use telekenesis too.
"You can't do this! It's not fair!" aww- poor evil dictator. I bet they all say that at the end.
"You know what happens now." WHAT?! WHAT?!
Why's he flying? More flying?? OOH! TRAINERS!!!
"I forgive you." ... i think i wet mmysefl.
protect the paradox!
"Captain!" hee!! I love it when he calls him that!! "The paradox machine!"
"You men, with me!" wow, how quickly we change loyalties, eh?
They go bye-bye? Where to they go?
Ends? No, it says there's 21:58 left.
ACK! Frelling commercials!!
Black hole converter in every ship. UH-OH. And I mean that.
"If I can't have this world, Doctor, than neither can you! We shall stand upon this earth together as it burns."
The Toclofane have the Phone Box!!
"We'll get slaughtered!"
"Yeah, happens to me a lot."
"Weapon after weapon after weapon. All you do is talk talk talk. But over all these years, and all these disasters, I've always had the greatest secret of them all- I know you. {may I interject a *SQUEASDGFHJGL:KEEE!!!* here? cuz, yeah.} You blow up those ships you kill yourself, and that's the one thing you could never do. Give that to me."
Aw. Hand holdie.
Go RAMBO!JACK!!!
um... shh. I um... fighting.
Martha- she falls & the Doctor catches her & I have a happy happy moment of squee. And I don't even ship them!
"Everyone get down! Time is reversing!" and then he looks at Martha and they're laughing like they're on a ferris wheel or something. Which is awesome in ways I can't describe.
ughhh- I'm getting vertigo here...
hey! where'd everybody go??
A year ago today, the world is as it was before the year that just was but isn't anymore... I think I read that in Revelation somewhere... There's so much wordiness sometimes & John's got too many visions to be always coherent.
Eye of the Storm- the only ones who'll ever remember what happened. That's kinda cool.
"Oh! Hello! You must be Mr. Jones, we haven't actually met!" Gawd, he's cute.
The Master makes an unwise, vain attempt at a run for it, but is stopped by an adorable Jack saying "Woah, big fella! You don't want to miss the party! Cuffs." He looks thoroughly disgusted (The Master, Jack looks like this is great fun indeed).
"So, what do we do with this one?"
"We kill him."
"We execute him."
dang. Violent family, those Jones.
"No! That's not the solution. You're my responsibility from now on. The only Time Lord left in existence."
"Yeah, but you can't trust him."
"No. The only safe place for him is the TARDIS." *more blinkage, but for different reasons. you know what they are*
"You mean you're just gonna... keep me?" *iz dead of SGOIJWSEALRF:POGH!!!!!#ERW&*
"Mhm. If that's what I have to do."
Looks at Jack, whose face is all kinds of expressive, even under all that crap.
"It's time to change. Maybe I've been wondering for too long." NO! You haven't! DON'T GO!! *clings* "Now I've got someone to care for." Aw. AWW. That was weirdly sweet!
*BANG!* WTF?W??
OMG. OMG!! Crazy, drugged-out red lady shot The Master!! WHATTHEHECKISGOINGON!? I wanted The Doctor to keep him. *pout* :(
"I've got you. I've got you." okay, I have a feeling tears are on their way. I'm just gonna watch the scene, and then re-watch for typeage.
guh.
guhGUHGUGHUHGUJGHKIASlskfjSDGLKJAlaskdjfOMG.
And that's all I can say about that ending. Because words... they have no meaning. *keeps trying to choke something out, vocally or typing and gettin' nothin'*
The Master & the Ring and the Fire and the Martha and the is this going somewhere? and the awesomeness that is this show OMG.
{Credits:
brontide &
slayerchen }
Okay, so I'm flipping through the Guide, trying to find something to watch and I see "Top Gear" on BBCA, and I think, 'Well, I've heard it's good, and I know both Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant have been on here, so why not?' Why not, indeed. I'll tell you why not:
Because I DID NOT NEED ANOTHER FANDOM!! THAT'S WHY NOT!! Yet, that is what I got. So... crap. But, it is really funny and cute and quotable, so here's my commentary/quotes written down on the first episode I ever did see of "Top Gear" ::
{Do forgive me for not putting who-said-what stuff in there. Cuz I don't actually know.}
"James and I decided to go down to the [museum] and see if we can find the answer to a question that no one is asking."
"Because no one cares!"
1896 first car ever made: Genesis. Benz. {Ohhh- so it's a car show! Ohhkaaay! I should have figured... but I, ya know, didn't.}
"*pulls on something* That's not the brake!"
"The great thing about this particular car is that when you turn the handle (to crank the car into starting) it will break your wrist."
"Your what?!"
"Well, we don't actually need to drive it. We can just stand around and talk about it for a bit."
*hops around after the car starts*, still afraid for his wrist, maybe? Either way, it's adorable.
[Reading the direct-to-translated instructions for this car- this is directly quoted from him]:
"For making the carraige walking at the first speed, take back the drag of the wheel backward crowbar of the right. And take completely and progressively back the crowbar of embrayage to you, while you keep the direction... Pull the mover til his starting. *gets funny look from hopping guy*"
"AH-HAHAHAA!!"
"I can understand why this is better than going around looking at a horse's bottom, but how'd anyone ever figure out how it worked?" (Clarkson, I think.)
"If we've established that that's the gear lever, that's the advance thing- the ignition, and that's... something important, this was designed for someone with three arms and one leg. If you need to give a hill-start, you have to steer it with your chest."
"Or your face."
[More "instructions"]:
"For taking the second speed, push rapidly at the crowbar forward, without brutality. When it is raised up again, engage all its strength!"
*creaking, grinding* <- hey, that's what the caption said.
"Hey! Top gear! Now how do I stop?"
"Do what?"
"Well, I'm gonna need to stop eventually. This road won't go on forever."
*looks through instruction papers*
"Hurl the move-its- no..."
"Seriously."
"I don't know, James! I don't know!"
"Well, find it. You're in charge of the instructions."
"They're in gibberish! There's no point in relying on this!"
"Well, what's it say?! Embrayage, crowbar..."
"I brought them as a joke for the viewer!"
"Oh, God, there's a-" *an actual car drives right by them*
"For making the carraige completely stopped, when it goes at 15 kilometers an hour, take abruptly the crowbar of embrayage-"
"Right, so..."
"No, no, wait! We haven't finished!"
"You haven't got very long-" *points at intersection coming up very quickly*
"When you are in first speed, push - we aren't are we? James! We're going to be killed!"
*silly horn honking*
voiceover-"I decided to use ingenuity..."
*standing with his arms out* "I'm using friction!"
"I've got one- that's neutral. We're in neutral."
"It's my wind resistance... Stop it!"
"I don't know how to do it!"
"Make it STOOOPP!!!"
*car sorta sputters lazily to a stop on the other side of the intersection thing, mostly on the far shoulder*
"Right."
*gets out so fast it's funny*
voiceover-"It's got eight clutches. What kind of dullard would think that was brilliant?"
James May (?) "That's brilliant."
(Clarkson) "What's brilliant?"
"This gear box...[boring car talk, sorry]"
*falls down of bordom*
"You'd think that all the cars made after it would be laid out in the same way. Luckily, they weren't. Honestly, I'm glad this didn't catch on, because driving a model-T is more complicated [opens door, pause for effect] than doing eye surgery. It's almost as though Ford was being... I dunno... deliberately obtuse, because to make it move you have to up the revs of the accelerator, which is here on the steering wheel. Then you move the handbrake in the middle, which somehow puts the car in neutral. And then depress the left pedal... *it begins moving forward* yeah! The only problem is, in order to maintain this speed, I have to keep my foot pressed hard down on what feels like a very, very heavy clutch pedal, and the pain in my thigh is excrutiating! The only way around this is to change into Top gear. Now, in order to do that, we have to go faster, push this lever- the handbrake that isn't a handbrake- all the way down, then I can take my foot off that pedal. This shoots the speed up to about 40, whether you like it or not. And 40 on wooden wheels in a world of hardly any roads is terrifying."
"Look! Handbrake and gear lever in the middle of the car and three pedals in the right order!"
"And better still, no starting handle, no broken wrists. This was the first car to come with one of these: *jingles key*"
There is absolutely NO suspension on that Little Austin 7. Dang.
"Thanks, lads, for wasting 9 minutes of my life."
"No, no, I'll tell you something else really interesting..."
"Not with a kitchen knife stickin' thorugh your neck you won't." [I did a double take on that, then laughed hysterically.]
"No, seriously, durning the war..."
"Oh, not James May on the war!!"
Hey! James Blunt! cool. Someone I'm familiar with. I didn't know he was a Brit. Actually, I don't know much about him at all. hm...
"First guest we've ever had to be able to drive a tank!"
"Yeah, but I think you'll see in a minute I can't drive a car, though."
"Yes, but you see here, your problem is, is that your car history's rubbish."
"Why have you never replaced it with another car? Cuz, presumably you can afford one, now."
"Because I owned a moterbike after that, Jeremy."
"Oh, did you?"
"Yeah. Moto Guzzi...."
"I didn't know you were homosexual."
"Yes, absolutely. Most of my songs are about you." (OMG Awesome comeback!!)
*dies laughing* "Oh, God, no! I've got all kinds of lyrics going through my head now."
Oddly, JB doesn't seem to be laughing at the joke himself too much.
"A diet tank?"
"We're going green in the army."
"How can you be worried about what's coming out of the pipe in the back when the pipe in the front has depleted uranium coming out of that one? 'Yeah, I know, but look.'"
"We're just trying to make war a little bit safer."
Okay, I'm loving this guy.
"I had to crack a bottle of champagne on the chairlift and say, 'I name this chairlift James Blunt. God bless her and all who ride me.'"
[When the conditions he was in while serving in the war are brought up]:
"Yeah, it was a pretty miserable place, actually. So was the Kosovo-Albanians and Serbs murdering each other." (Have I mentioned my loving him??)
"I had my guitar strapped to the outside [of the tank]. It's a precious guitar, I wanted it inside, but I was told by my superiors I had to keep their soldiers on the inside. Wasn't allowed to strap them on the outside." (re: see above)
"Do you inhale helium before you sing, or is that just how it ^comes out^?"
"I was fed it as a child."
"Fed helium?"
"Yes. I think if I sang and inhaled helium at the same time it would be beyond the human ear's register. Only dogs would hear it."
"But you do actually take the mick (microphone?) out of your own songs at gigs, though, don't you?
"Well, have you heard them?"
#4 Most Annoying Things In Britian.
"That really pissed me off, actually. I thought I'd at least do better than that."
"Exactly!"
"You got your pilot's licence at 16. Do you still fly?"
"No, I'm normally just in the back of the plane. If you ever found yourself in a plane with me, you should jump out."
"I found him on e-Bay."
"What? You found your brother-in-law on e-Bay?"
*explains how his sister couldn't get to a funeral in southern Ireland, so he put her on e-Bay as a "Damsel in distress needs a knight in shining armor" * and this fool started bidding, among others..."
"So, you- you put your sister on e-Bay?"
"Yeah...*goes on with story of how he won, had a plane, flew her to Ireland, and 6months ago they got married. The sister & pilot, not James.*"
"You put your sister on e-Bay and now she's married?"
"Yeah, and I have a second sister who will be online shortly. Starting price: 5pounds."
"This is what they do in Thailand, isn't it? And then slightly portly men in Barnsley buy them."
"Yeah, hey! You must have met him."
"This is absolutely terrifying! Did you look like that in the tank?"
[Driving Times]::
Les Ferdinand: 1.47.4
Well-Spoken Man: 1.47.6
Jamie Oliver: 1.47.7
Hugh Grant: 1.47.7
Ewan McGregor: 1.48.0
Billie Piper: 1.68.3
Justing Hawkins: 1.68.4
--can't see the rest--
JB: 1.48.3
"Just above Billie Piper, and who wouln't want to be there?"
Um, one of the all-time F1 greats... has a daisy painted on the side. Seriously.
"No racing cheetahs or bats on superbikes."
[in GBP, unless otherwise noted]:
engine: 170,000
gearbox casing (no gears): 60,000
wing: 20,000
wheel nut: 500 quid
socket to remove nut: 1000
mirror: 800 quid
steering wheel: 30,000
That is the most high-maintainence car EVER. OMG.
1...2...3...4... 1minute = 40ft.
8. 8 stalls. Ah, a record. Congrats.
"After the team had laughed at me and warmed the tires so they'd be more grippy..."
"That's absolutely the most glorious machine in the world."
"Wait til you get into second."
"Give him his due. He did use full throttle in a Formula 1 car... for 0.2 seconds."
Okay, he's not 8yrs old.
"First case you over-took- Eyebow Man..."
"It is actually quite exciting when you're flying... you know, head-first into a barrier."
"Why don't you just watch Die Hard 4? That's exciting."
"He truely believes he's a better driver than me..." about his dad.
"It's the fuel of Satan, man!"
1.44.7 on water/oil track.
So, this is a maze rat BMW?
"Would you mind awfully sitting behind the wheel, just in case something goes wrong? ...No. ... In case something goes wrong... I can't believe I'm doing this!"
"Imagine if the British had built this. 'Oh, well, we didn't get it quite right, that's what happened there. We just missed that, didn't we, dear?'"
"If you want to scare yourself... TO DEATH! ... please don't get it wrong, please don't get it wrong... BRAKE BRAKE!! *sputters terrified nonsense*"
"Now... how do I stop it? I forgot to ask the man how to stop it. I'm going to be out here for the rest of my life! How much petrol it's got? 3/4 of a tank? *makes face, like, 'eh, alright'*"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Tonight, in a well-balanced show: James gets egg on his face, Richard runs himself over, and I power slide the new Aston Martin..."
--and then it freakin' cut off cuz this thing only does an hour of pausing and there was this thing on the lost pyramid and ... it just all went bad--
But, yeah. That's my new love- Top Gear. ... crap.
So I'm watching Top Gear and it's ... okay, my computer is frakked. seriously. I mean FRAKKED. So I'm trying to fix it as best the little I can.. whatev. Anyway. So after the ONE ep I've seen twice now asdlkfjaslkdfjs;oi it's doing the preview and I'm not watching and all I'm hearing is the mwaamwaa of Previews ... until... Next Week on BBCAmerica: David Tennant .... and I can't feel my legs and my eyes nearly leave my head behind as they shoot up to see WTF?! and sure enough- there's TehTen all velvet-suitted up and adorable and seriously my legs are frelling numb, people O MM GGGG!!!!! When? When does this stuff ever happen? Don't I ALWAYS miss these things?? But NO!! I have earned some sort of grace because of my FRAAKKKKKKEEEDDD computer and can now set the recorder for DAVID FRELLING TENNANT ON TOP GEAR!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D ADFKLAHS;DGFOAJPSDOVI[PAWJ!!!!!! mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee -breath- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!!!!!!
My legs and bum went totally numb, then tingly, then really heavy and numb again, and my top half is bouncing all over the place trying to keep me quiet, and I just... I'm just so much happier than I was five minutes ago. lordielordlord. hmm... *sigh*
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Well, it's pretty late now, so I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Or maybe I'll upload a few new userpics. Or maybe I'll just go to bed. I dunno. And I totally want to change my mood theme, but it takes SO LONG and I just know I'll get 90% done and my computer will glitch and bes mean and I'll have to cry. But I have the one I want in mind- an animated one of Doctor Who. Can't remember right now who made it, but it's filed away somewhere. I just want it *poof* done. meh. I must be tired, I'm getting blehh-y.
So... G'Nite!! :)
~TR
Anyway, I've got a mountain of stuff here: a Doctor Who commentary that I'm finally getting around to, but am still nowhere near close to being caught up on even writing them; a -surprise!- Top Gear commentary (I KNOW, RIGHT?!); and whatever else my frakked up computer will let me do before it makes keyboard useage completely impossible and starts smoking or something.
Okay. First, I think I'll post the OhMyGawd HowLateIsThis?!?! "Last Of The Time Lords" comments. I know, I know. I sicken myself. And now I get to sicken you!! :D
I warn you, some of this is just ... gibberish, really. I wrote this SO long ago, I don't remember what I meant by some of these things, so please forgive the nonsense.
ooh- cute! who is cute lantern boy? hey! MarthA! She no happy?
Tom Milligan. hm.
one year exactly.
walked America
only 1 who got out of Japan alive. yikes.
"Isn't it good? Anything? No, anything??" hee. I love John Simm as The Master. He's so perfect.
"They broke your hearts, didn't they?"
"Martha Jones has come back home."
"I have one thing to say to you- you know what it is." I DON'T!! TELL ME!!
3 fingers? wtf? ooh! I knew it- something!! YAY CONSPIRACY!!
Jack and his fish&chips. yum. hee.
woah- big Master stone thing.
War with the rest of the universe. w o w. Russia is launch 1. mmKay.
"Anything else I should know?" "I've met Shakespeare." hee!
A Doctor? Mm.
So... the Toclafane are creepy.
cool! Keep Martha secret. {whaaat? this be one of those gibberishnesses}
Psychic transmision.
Unnoticable.
uhh, honey, genetic transfer...
nearly 3pm. OH! The 3 thing!!
That looks wrong. The lazer.
gasp! He beat his wife!!
Poor Martha's mom.
"There you go, Gramps." heh.
Medusa Cascade rift sealed.
"Just need you to listen."
Wire cutters. Handy.
"This is Martha Jones."
"She could be the Queen of Sheba for all I care, I'm still busy." {hey! I was her once! ;P }
A plural for wha? "Des"?
"Countdown"- a Brit show, I assume. "Oh, god, I miss Countdown. Never been the same since Des took over. Both Deses. What' the plural for Des? Desi? Deseen?"
Eve of War. Lovely woman.
A Child walking the Earth, giving you hope.
Say hello, Gandolf. ;P
Stunted little apes- heh.
Suspend ability to regenerate? WTF?! 900 years, OMG!!
Okay, me is not happy- and Jack looks absoluely devistated. Good lord, he's breaking me.
Um. Teeny Lump In Big Clothes??
EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG?!!!!??!!!
heh- the look on the Master's face @ Teeny!Doctor. Kinda the look I had, minus the creeped out horror, but, yeah...
ThAT's the spirit, Martha! Still alive!!
Archangel network. Weakness? I thought he made it? Wh- grrrr.
It keeps people scared. Take out the 15 satelites & ... what? They get un-scared?
Not "Toclofane". I knew that. How- oh, yeah, I'm a spoiler whore for this season. nm.
Brought down by lightning strike!?
cool.
"Who'd ever thought we'd miss Bill Gates?" heh.
Weapon?
510megajoules.
Recreate the wha? MKay. Too much real smart science for my dead brain.
Don't open it until it's all-dead! Didn't you see The Princess Bride?!
Why is his wife so... clingy? What's she on? Where are the bruises from like three scenes ago?
WHY IS THE DOCTOR TINY, IN A TINY!DOCTOR SUIT ALL BEING TINY AND KINDA YUCKY AND IN A FRAKKING CAGE?! What, he's a canary??
Bracatolian space.
New Gallifrey. Maybe then it stops.
The drumming. Ever since he was a child & looked into the vortex he's heard it. It 'chose' him- a call to war. He doesn't get why the Doctor doesn't hear it. ~Maybe it's because he's TOO TINY to hear it grrrr~
Doing it for them- the Toclofane? Why does the Doctor love them so very very much? He loves humans, right? Wh- I's losted. Mayhap I's should have been spoiled a bit more? Or a whole lot less?
I wouldn't take off those goggles.
WTF?
"Sweet, kind Martha Jones. you helped us to fly. You led us to salvation." um, yay? "The skies are made of diamonds".
cute blonde kid- says 'The skies are made of diamonds'
ohmygod.
They got them up and out of Planet Death and sent away to "Utopia" and now they're creepy heads in metal balls of flying doom?? Why are they mean??
They share their memories. mkay. I- wh- So, they're the human race from the time after the end of the universe, yeah? And this is what Utopia made them? I'm thinking we've got differing views on Utopian society and life.
"I took Lucy to Utopia. A Time Lord and his companion. I took her to see the stars." [I never thought of that. She sort of was/is his companion. I didn't know they did that- you know, other than The Doctor. Or was that mockage and I missed it? I dunno. Simm is so awesome and subtle and graceful in this role; I'm really in, well, awe.]
"Trillians of years into the future, to the end of the universe."
"Tell him what you saw."
"Dying. Everything dying. The whole of creation was faling apart, and I thought, there's no point. No point to anything. Not ever." Odd how Martha and Jack didn't come away with those feelings...
"And it's all your fault."
Do not be blaming Tiny!Doctor for this! He's got enough guilt as it is.
"I'd sort of worked it out with the paradox machine. Cuz The Doctor said, on the day before The Master came to power, he said, "When he was stealing the TARDIS the only thing I could do was fuse the coordinates. I locked them permanently. He can only travel between the year 100trillian and the last place the TARDIS landed, which is right here, right now." The Master had the TARDIS. This time machine. But the only other place he could go was the end of the universe, so he found Utopia."
"You should have seen it Doctor. Furnaces. Burning. The last of humanity screaming at the dark."
"The Utopia project was the last hope. Trying to escape the end of everything."
"There were no diamonds, no solutions. Just the dark and the cold." hm. Creepyhead sounds a bit miffed.
Master: "All that human invention that had sustained them across the eons, it all turned inward- they cannibalized themselves."
Toclofane: "We made ourselves so pretty." -ew ew ew ewwww-
Master: "Regressing into children. But it didn't work. The universe was collapsing around them."
Open Toclofane: "Then the Master came, with his wonderful time machine." -um, not HIS, tyvvvm.- "To bring us back home."
Docherty: "But that's a paradox. If you're the future of the human race, and you've come back to murder your ancesters, you should cancel yourselves out. You shouldn't exist."
Martha: "And that's the paradox machine."
Master: My masterpiece, Doctor. A living TARDIS strong enough to hold the paradox in place, allowing the past and the future to collide in infinite majesty."
Tiny!Doctor: But you're changing history. Not just Earth, the entire universe.
Master: I'm a Time Lord. I have that right.
Tiny!Doctor: But even then, why come all this way just to destroy?
Toclofane: We come backwards in time all to build a brand new empire, lasting 100trillian years." -mmkay. what then?-
Master: With me as their Master. Humans and Time Lord combined- haven't you always dreamt of that, Doctor?
Tom: What about us? We're the same species, why do you kill so many of us?
Open Toclofane: Because it's fun! *creeepy, sociopathic, bad-seed laughter*
Master: Human Race - greatest monsters of them all. ... 'night then. -and he's absolutely right. sad how it takes a villian to show us so much truth.-
Tom: "All we need is to get close, I can shoot the master dead with this."
Docherty: "Actually, You can put that down now, thank you very much." -hee!-
Martha: "Point is, it's not so easy to kill a Time Lord. They can regenerate. Literally bring themselves back to life."
Docherty: "Wonderful. The Master's immortal."
Martha: "Except for this. Four chemicals slotted into this gun, inject him, kills a Time Lord permanently."
She's got three. Traveled the world to get them (scattered for safe-keeping. Torchwood, I presume? Or maybe not, since they're sort of the antiDoctor... or they were. Also, probably wouldn't do very well at it... ;P ).
San Diego, Bejing, Budapest & London.
An old UNIT base in North London.
Aside from the wild, flesh eating dogs seems like a lovely stroll in the terrifying pitch-blackness of Creepy Alt!Earth Master's Death World: London.
"You don't look like a killer to me." the look Martha gives- she seems to say, too late?
I KNEW IT!! (Not in the sense that I had any idea what was going on, but I knew there was something I didn't know!) She just seemed... weird in the last scene. What about her son? Who is he? *random, uninvited theories crash into her like a freaking tidal wave- ranging from Jack (ha!) to the Master (oy vey), to that tocloface (i swear, i'm insane)... i'm dying here!*
ooh! story time.
Radiation pits of Europe? yummy.
He never walks the Earth, huh? snob.
"He walkes among us- our Lord and Master."
Okay, he's kinda funny. "I can seee youu!" all squeeky. heh.
Hide Martha! :/
"Anybody? Anything? Nobody? No?" I kind of love John Simm.
"What would the Doctor do?" he's mocking, but it's kind of a strengthening thing, I think. Also, I want something that says that on it.
Brave Martha.
OMGOMGOMG- d- he just... :( :( :'''(
Make The Doctor watch? How... stupid of him.
ooh!@ Jack!!
Teleport device? groovy.
Kneel? Frak no.
200,000 ships burning the universe. fun fun.
Black hole converters.
"Never could resist a ticking clock." hee.
"My first blood."
"Any last words. No? Such a disapointment, this one. Days of old, Doctor, you had companions who could absorb the Time Vortex. This one's useless. Bow your head." -how did he know about that? would the Doctor tell him? I don't think he would, but... I don't know, what do you think? Theories, conjectures, randomly chosen words to make me laugh or confused?-
"A new order of Time Lords." Aaaaand, she's laughing. (?_?)
"A gun?"
"What about it?"
"A gun in four parts."
"Yes?? And I destroyed it."
"A gun in four parts scattered across the world, I mean, come on, did you really believe that?"
"What do you mean?"
"As if I would ask her to kill." -*doodles hearts around that considerably angry, disappointed Tiny!Doctor quote*-
"Oh, well. Doesn't matter. I've got her exactly where I want her."
"But I Knew what prof.Docherty would do. (cool!) The Resistance knew about her son." ~"Know your enemy."~ Again, I must interject a GROOVY here.
"But you're still gonna die!"
"Don't you want to know what I was doing- travelling the world?"
"Tell me." He's a really good actor.
"I told a story. That's all. No weapons, just words. I did just what The Doctor said. I went across the continents, all on my own, and everywhere I went I found people and I told them my story. I told him about the Doctor. I told them to pass it on, spread the word so that everyone would know about the Doctor."
"Faith and hope, is that all?"
"No. Cuz I gave them an instruction." She stands up- I do love defiance. "Just as the Doctor said. ~"Use the countdown."~ I told them that if everyone thinks of one word at one specific time..."
"Nothing will happen! Is that your weapon? Prayer?"
"Right across the world, one word just one thought at one moment, but with 15 satelites" ooh- that got his attention.
"What?"
"The Archangel Network" oh, hello Jack! Good to see you.
"A telepathic field, binding the whole human race together with all of them- every single person on earth- thinking the same thing at the same time, and that word is "Doctor"."
*blink* um, it is? Where's my memo on this? I'm not getting all my memos. :(
Also? Really? That's all you could think of? *eyebrow & grumble*
Why is my Doctor glowing? Seriously, he's all ... glowy. and blue. And if he's gonna go back to regular size, he's gonna need to get out of that cage first.
"I've had a whole year to tune myself into the network and integrate with it's matraces."
"I order you to stop!" yeah. good try.
"The one think you can't do is stop them thinking." ooh! Pretty Doctor!! YAY!!:D:D
"Tell me the human race is degenerate now, when they can do this." They can make gorgeous guys glow and fly and be all... *loses sense cuz of the pretty* I'd like to see that race!
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." why?
"Then I'll kill them!" And, there goes your laser screwdriver (which is way harder to write, I might add), cuz apparently he can now use telekenesis too.
"You can't do this! It's not fair!" aww- poor evil dictator. I bet they all say that at the end.
"You know what happens now." WHAT?! WHAT?!
Why's he flying? More flying?? OOH! TRAINERS!!!
"I forgive you." ... i think i wet mmysefl.
protect the paradox!
"Captain!" hee!! I love it when he calls him that!! "The paradox machine!"
"You men, with me!" wow, how quickly we change loyalties, eh?
They go bye-bye? Where to they go?
Ends? No, it says there's 21:58 left.
ACK! Frelling commercials!!
Black hole converter in every ship. UH-OH. And I mean that.
"If I can't have this world, Doctor, than neither can you! We shall stand upon this earth together as it burns."
The Toclofane have the Phone Box!!
"We'll get slaughtered!"
"Yeah, happens to me a lot."
"Weapon after weapon after weapon. All you do is talk talk talk. But over all these years, and all these disasters, I've always had the greatest secret of them all- I know you. {may I interject a *SQUEASDGFHJGL:KEEE!!!* here? cuz, yeah.} You blow up those ships you kill yourself, and that's the one thing you could never do. Give that to me."
Aw. Hand holdie.
Go RAMBO!JACK!!!
um... shh. I um... fighting.
Martha- she falls & the Doctor catches her & I have a happy happy moment of squee. And I don't even ship them!
"Everyone get down! Time is reversing!" and then he looks at Martha and they're laughing like they're on a ferris wheel or something. Which is awesome in ways I can't describe.
ughhh- I'm getting vertigo here...
hey! where'd everybody go??
A year ago today, the world is as it was before the year that just was but isn't anymore... I think I read that in Revelation somewhere... There's so much wordiness sometimes & John's got too many visions to be always coherent.
Eye of the Storm- the only ones who'll ever remember what happened. That's kinda cool.
"Oh! Hello! You must be Mr. Jones, we haven't actually met!" Gawd, he's cute.
The Master makes an unwise, vain attempt at a run for it, but is stopped by an adorable Jack saying "Woah, big fella! You don't want to miss the party! Cuffs." He looks thoroughly disgusted (The Master, Jack looks like this is great fun indeed).
"So, what do we do with this one?"
"We kill him."
"We execute him."
dang. Violent family, those Jones.
"No! That's not the solution. You're my responsibility from now on. The only Time Lord left in existence."
"Yeah, but you can't trust him."
"No. The only safe place for him is the TARDIS." *more blinkage, but for different reasons. you know what they are*
"You mean you're just gonna... keep me?" *iz dead of SGOIJWSEALRF:POGH!!!!!#ERW&*
"Mhm. If that's what I have to do."
Looks at Jack, whose face is all kinds of expressive, even under all that crap.
"It's time to change. Maybe I've been wondering for too long." NO! You haven't! DON'T GO!! *clings* "Now I've got someone to care for." Aw. AWW. That was weirdly sweet!
*BANG!* WTF?W??
OMG. OMG!! Crazy, drugged-out red lady shot The Master!! WHATTHEHECKISGOINGON!? I wanted The Doctor to keep him. *pout* :(
"I've got you. I've got you." okay, I have a feeling tears are on their way. I'm just gonna watch the scene, and then re-watch for typeage.
guh.
guhGUHGUGHUHGUJGHKIASlskfjSDGLKJAlaskdjfOMG.
And that's all I can say about that ending. Because words... they have no meaning. *keeps trying to choke something out, vocally or typing and gettin' nothin'*
The Master & the Ring and the Fire and the Martha and the is this going somewhere? and the awesomeness that is this show OMG.
{Credits:
brontide &
slayerchen }
Okay, so I'm flipping through the Guide, trying to find something to watch and I see "Top Gear" on BBCA, and I think, 'Well, I've heard it's good, and I know both Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant have been on here, so why not?' Why not, indeed. I'll tell you why not:
Because I DID NOT NEED ANOTHER FANDOM!! THAT'S WHY NOT!! Yet, that is what I got. So... crap. But, it is really funny and cute and quotable, so here's my commentary/quotes written down on the first episode I ever did see of "Top Gear" ::
{Do forgive me for not putting who-said-what stuff in there. Cuz I don't actually know.}
"James and I decided to go down to the [museum] and see if we can find the answer to a question that no one is asking."
"Because no one cares!"
1896 first car ever made: Genesis. Benz. {Ohhh- so it's a car show! Ohhkaaay! I should have figured... but I, ya know, didn't.}
"*pulls on something* That's not the brake!"
"The great thing about this particular car is that when you turn the handle (to crank the car into starting) it will break your wrist."
"Your what?!"
"Well, we don't actually need to drive it. We can just stand around and talk about it for a bit."
*hops around after the car starts*, still afraid for his wrist, maybe? Either way, it's adorable.
[Reading the direct-to-translated instructions for this car- this is directly quoted from him]:
"For making the carraige walking at the first speed, take back the drag of the wheel backward crowbar of the right. And take completely and progressively back the crowbar of embrayage to you, while you keep the direction... Pull the mover til his starting. *gets funny look from hopping guy*"
"AH-HAHAHAA!!"
"I can understand why this is better than going around looking at a horse's bottom, but how'd anyone ever figure out how it worked?" (Clarkson, I think.)
"If we've established that that's the gear lever, that's the advance thing- the ignition, and that's... something important, this was designed for someone with three arms and one leg. If you need to give a hill-start, you have to steer it with your chest."
"Or your face."
[More "instructions"]:
"For taking the second speed, push rapidly at the crowbar forward, without brutality. When it is raised up again, engage all its strength!"
*creaking, grinding* <- hey, that's what the caption said.
"Hey! Top gear! Now how do I stop?"
"Do what?"
"Well, I'm gonna need to stop eventually. This road won't go on forever."
*looks through instruction papers*
"Hurl the move-its- no..."
"Seriously."
"I don't know, James! I don't know!"
"Well, find it. You're in charge of the instructions."
"They're in gibberish! There's no point in relying on this!"
"Well, what's it say?! Embrayage, crowbar..."
"I brought them as a joke for the viewer!"
"Oh, God, there's a-" *an actual car drives right by them*
"For making the carraige completely stopped, when it goes at 15 kilometers an hour, take abruptly the crowbar of embrayage-"
"Right, so..."
"No, no, wait! We haven't finished!"
"You haven't got very long-" *points at intersection coming up very quickly*
"When you are in first speed, push - we aren't are we? James! We're going to be killed!"
*silly horn honking*
voiceover-"I decided to use ingenuity..."
*standing with his arms out* "I'm using friction!"
"I've got one- that's neutral. We're in neutral."
"It's my wind resistance... Stop it!"
"I don't know how to do it!"
"Make it STOOOPP!!!"
*car sorta sputters lazily to a stop on the other side of the intersection thing, mostly on the far shoulder*
"Right."
*gets out so fast it's funny*
voiceover-"It's got eight clutches. What kind of dullard would think that was brilliant?"
James May (?) "That's brilliant."
(Clarkson) "What's brilliant?"
"This gear box...[boring car talk, sorry]"
*falls down of bordom*
"You'd think that all the cars made after it would be laid out in the same way. Luckily, they weren't. Honestly, I'm glad this didn't catch on, because driving a model-T is more complicated [opens door, pause for effect] than doing eye surgery. It's almost as though Ford was being... I dunno... deliberately obtuse, because to make it move you have to up the revs of the accelerator, which is here on the steering wheel. Then you move the handbrake in the middle, which somehow puts the car in neutral. And then depress the left pedal... *it begins moving forward* yeah! The only problem is, in order to maintain this speed, I have to keep my foot pressed hard down on what feels like a very, very heavy clutch pedal, and the pain in my thigh is excrutiating! The only way around this is to change into Top gear. Now, in order to do that, we have to go faster, push this lever- the handbrake that isn't a handbrake- all the way down, then I can take my foot off that pedal. This shoots the speed up to about 40, whether you like it or not. And 40 on wooden wheels in a world of hardly any roads is terrifying."
"Look! Handbrake and gear lever in the middle of the car and three pedals in the right order!"
"And better still, no starting handle, no broken wrists. This was the first car to come with one of these: *jingles key*"
There is absolutely NO suspension on that Little Austin 7. Dang.
"Thanks, lads, for wasting 9 minutes of my life."
"No, no, I'll tell you something else really interesting..."
"Not with a kitchen knife stickin' thorugh your neck you won't." [I did a double take on that, then laughed hysterically.]
"No, seriously, durning the war..."
"Oh, not James May on the war!!"
Hey! James Blunt! cool. Someone I'm familiar with. I didn't know he was a Brit. Actually, I don't know much about him at all. hm...
"First guest we've ever had to be able to drive a tank!"
"Yeah, but I think you'll see in a minute I can't drive a car, though."
"Yes, but you see here, your problem is, is that your car history's rubbish."
"Why have you never replaced it with another car? Cuz, presumably you can afford one, now."
"Because I owned a moterbike after that, Jeremy."
"Oh, did you?"
"Yeah. Moto Guzzi...."
"I didn't know you were homosexual."
"Yes, absolutely. Most of my songs are about you." (OMG Awesome comeback!!)
*dies laughing* "Oh, God, no! I've got all kinds of lyrics going through my head now."
Oddly, JB doesn't seem to be laughing at the joke himself too much.
"A diet tank?"
"We're going green in the army."
"How can you be worried about what's coming out of the pipe in the back when the pipe in the front has depleted uranium coming out of that one? 'Yeah, I know, but look.'"
"We're just trying to make war a little bit safer."
Okay, I'm loving this guy.
"I had to crack a bottle of champagne on the chairlift and say, 'I name this chairlift James Blunt. God bless her and all who ride me.'"
[When the conditions he was in while serving in the war are brought up]:
"Yeah, it was a pretty miserable place, actually. So was the Kosovo-Albanians and Serbs murdering each other." (Have I mentioned my loving him??)
"I had my guitar strapped to the outside [of the tank]. It's a precious guitar, I wanted it inside, but I was told by my superiors I had to keep their soldiers on the inside. Wasn't allowed to strap them on the outside." (re: see above)
"Do you inhale helium before you sing, or is that just how it ^comes out^?"
"I was fed it as a child."
"Fed helium?"
"Yes. I think if I sang and inhaled helium at the same time it would be beyond the human ear's register. Only dogs would hear it."
"But you do actually take the mick (microphone?) out of your own songs at gigs, though, don't you?
"Well, have you heard them?"
#4 Most Annoying Things In Britian.
"That really pissed me off, actually. I thought I'd at least do better than that."
"Exactly!"
"You got your pilot's licence at 16. Do you still fly?"
"No, I'm normally just in the back of the plane. If you ever found yourself in a plane with me, you should jump out."
"I found him on e-Bay."
"What? You found your brother-in-law on e-Bay?"
*explains how his sister couldn't get to a funeral in southern Ireland, so he put her on e-Bay as a "Damsel in distress needs a knight in shining armor" * and this fool started bidding, among others..."
"So, you- you put your sister on e-Bay?"
"Yeah...*goes on with story of how he won, had a plane, flew her to Ireland, and 6months ago they got married. The sister & pilot, not James.*"
"You put your sister on e-Bay and now she's married?"
"Yeah, and I have a second sister who will be online shortly. Starting price: 5pounds."
"This is what they do in Thailand, isn't it? And then slightly portly men in Barnsley buy them."
"Yeah, hey! You must have met him."
"This is absolutely terrifying! Did you look like that in the tank?"
[Driving Times]::
Les Ferdinand: 1.47.4
Well-Spoken Man: 1.47.6
Jamie Oliver: 1.47.7
Hugh Grant: 1.47.7
Ewan McGregor: 1.48.0
Billie Piper: 1.68.3
Justing Hawkins: 1.68.4
--can't see the rest--
JB: 1.48.3
"Just above Billie Piper, and who wouln't want to be there?"
Um, one of the all-time F1 greats... has a daisy painted on the side. Seriously.
"No racing cheetahs or bats on superbikes."
[in GBP, unless otherwise noted]:
engine: 170,000
gearbox casing (no gears): 60,000
wing: 20,000
wheel nut: 500 quid
socket to remove nut: 1000
mirror: 800 quid
steering wheel: 30,000
That is the most high-maintainence car EVER. OMG.
1...2...3...4... 1minute = 40ft.
8. 8 stalls. Ah, a record. Congrats.
"After the team had laughed at me and warmed the tires so they'd be more grippy..."
"That's absolutely the most glorious machine in the world."
"Wait til you get into second."
"Give him his due. He did use full throttle in a Formula 1 car... for 0.2 seconds."
Okay, he's not 8yrs old.
"First case you over-took- Eyebow Man..."
"It is actually quite exciting when you're flying... you know, head-first into a barrier."
"Why don't you just watch Die Hard 4? That's exciting."
"He truely believes he's a better driver than me..." about his dad.
"It's the fuel of Satan, man!"
1.44.7 on water/oil track.
So, this is a maze rat BMW?
"Would you mind awfully sitting behind the wheel, just in case something goes wrong? ...No. ... In case something goes wrong... I can't believe I'm doing this!"
"Imagine if the British had built this. 'Oh, well, we didn't get it quite right, that's what happened there. We just missed that, didn't we, dear?'"
"If you want to scare yourself... TO DEATH! ... please don't get it wrong, please don't get it wrong... BRAKE BRAKE!! *sputters terrified nonsense*"
"Now... how do I stop it? I forgot to ask the man how to stop it. I'm going to be out here for the rest of my life! How much petrol it's got? 3/4 of a tank? *makes face, like, 'eh, alright'*"
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"Tonight, in a well-balanced show: James gets egg on his face, Richard runs himself over, and I power slide the new Aston Martin..."
--and then it freakin' cut off cuz this thing only does an hour of pausing and there was this thing on the lost pyramid and ... it just all went bad--
But, yeah. That's my new love- Top Gear. ... crap.
So I'm watching Top Gear and it's ... okay, my computer is frakked. seriously. I mean FRAKKED. So I'm trying to fix it as best the little I can.. whatev. Anyway. So after the ONE ep I've seen twice now asdlkfjaslkdfjs;oi it's doing the preview and I'm not watching and all I'm hearing is the mwaamwaa of Previews ... until... Next Week on BBCAmerica: David Tennant .... and I can't feel my legs and my eyes nearly leave my head behind as they shoot up to see WTF?! and sure enough- there's TehTen all velvet-suitted up and adorable and seriously my legs are frelling numb, people O MM GGGG!!!!! When? When does this stuff ever happen? Don't I ALWAYS miss these things?? But NO!! I have earned some sort of grace because of my FRAAKKKKKKEEEDDD computer and can now set the recorder for DAVID FRELLING TENNANT ON TOP GEAR!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D ADFKLAHS;DGFOAJPSDOVI[PAWJ!!!!!! mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee -breath- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!!!!!!
My legs and bum went totally numb, then tingly, then really heavy and numb again, and my top half is bouncing all over the place trying to keep me quiet, and I just... I'm just so much happier than I was five minutes ago. lordielordlord. hmm... *sigh*
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Well, it's pretty late now, so I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Or maybe I'll upload a few new userpics. Or maybe I'll just go to bed. I dunno. And I totally want to change my mood theme, but it takes SO LONG and I just know I'll get 90% done and my computer will glitch and bes mean and I'll have to cry. But I have the one I want in mind- an animated one of Doctor Who. Can't remember right now who made it, but it's filed away somewhere. I just want it *poof* done. meh. I must be tired, I'm getting blehh-y.
So... G'Nite!! :)
~TR