“We have the wolf by the ears; we can neither hold him, nor let him go." For auror_aura

[true_marauder]

Wolfsbane potion imbibed by a wizard now flowed through the veins of a wolf, calming him, keeping his more dangerous predilections at bay.  Sometimes the draught was enough to cool his blood and allow him to curl up before the fire and sleep, but not tonight.  Tonight he prowled the room he could not leave, thanks to charms he could not undo in

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[auror_aura]

It had been a long night for Tonks, too. First, she was fretting like she always did about Remus on the full moon. She was always antsy about it, and her worry only increased as their relationship became more involved

[true_marauder]

Though the wolf was forced to withdraw with the rising of the sun it lingered just below the surface, thrumming through him like a drug. Normally Remus slept until well after the morning was ended, waking bleary eyed but fully human (or at least as human as he ever was). He made sure that he didn't see anyone until he was in control once again.

He didn't hear the door open, but the moment her hand touched his skin he was fully awake, and instinct took over. Attack was his first thought, and he sprung at the warm body, knocking her to the ground. He had each of her wrists captured with his hands before the smell overwhelmed him. It was her. Unaware of his nakedness he loomed over her, lowering his head to nuzzle her neck. The only sound he made was akin to a low growl.

[auror_aura]

She let out a surprised yelp as he overpowered her - it happened so quickly, and she was so caught off-guard that she didn't even have time to register what was happening until he had pinned her down.

"R- Remus..." He clearly wasn't himself, not that her body cared all that much. The sounds he made sent shivers down her spine and the intimate caress made her sigh involuntarily. Nonetheless, she was a little frightened. He was far too strong for her and already had the advantage - if he started to - but this was Remus, Remus would never hurt her - but, she remembered with a jolt, less than an hour ago he hadn't been Remus at all...

"Remus," she said again, making sure not to struggle, "Remus John, look at me and say my name."

[true_marauder]

He heard her speak, but the meaning of the words did not penetrate the fog surrounding his mind quiet yet. They did draw his attention to her mouth, however. Pale pink and glistening with moisture from her nervous lick, he needed to taste her lips. He nipped at the lower one, lightly, almost playfully; the taste was known to him. With his tongue he tasted the space between her lips, prizing them apart, kissing her passionately.

He moved a little so that his body brushed against hers, once, then again, his only frustration in the barrier between her skin and his nakedness. When he ended the kiss and raised his head a little the need was clear in his eyes; this is what he had been craving all night.

[auror_aura]

Well, bugger. It was obvious what he wanted, and she would be happy to let him, Merlin knew he was making her body as eager for contact as he was.

But she knew he would feel guilty about this later, and that made her worry. She ought to try and stop him, but if she tried and failed that might make him feel even worse, and...

His grip on her wrists was like a vice - there was no way she would be able to break it, and her wand was in a pocket of her robes, hopelessly out of reach.

"Remus," she said yet again, her voice loud and clear, "Please say something. I need to know it's you."

[true_marauder]

Remus The name echoed through him, calling to him. Desire gave the wolf more power then usual, but the moon was moving farther away in its cycle and the man was fighting hard. His hold on her wrists lightened, though he did not release her yet.

Say something. He fell against her neck against and drew in a breath, releasing it slowly. His throat worked hard to produce a sound other then a growl or a howl, but all that came out was a soft moan against her shoulder. He stayed there, not moving, for dozens of heart beats.

Know it's you. This time when he looked at her the need was not physical, it was so much deeper then that. He had called her his that first night they were together, but he belonged to her too and he needed to find that piece of himself, that most human piece. He needed to remember the man, not the beast.

"Dora." His voice was hoarse, but human.

[auror_aura]

"Wotcher," she said, a hint of a smile flitting over her face when he finally spoke. She had to admit, it was a relief to hear him say her name. His grip was loose enough that she was able to carefully extract one of her hands, and she touched his face gently.

[true_marauder]

When she touch him he winced, as the realization of their respective positions hit him. He looked at her, lying on the ground. At his hand, covering hers, the skin of his arms showing fresh wounds. He felt her clothing rubbing against his naked skin, and took in the state of the room and the early morning light streaming though the window. His arms trembled, his eyes widened, and the colour drained from his face.

"Fuck." He snatched up the torn sheet next to him, and as fast as he could moved from on top of her to the farthest side of the room. Remus wrapped the sheet around his waist as best he could and leaned his forehead against the wall. Merlin's blessed right thumb, what had he done?

[auror_aura]

She stayed where she was for a moment, and glanced at her wrists. Bruises were already starting to form where he'd grabbed them. She sighed and got up carefully. She was likely to have a couple of other bruises from her impact on the floor, but she'd had worse, and it wasn't his fault.

Crossing the room, she placed a hand in the middle of Remus' back, trying to comfort him, and maybe herself a little, too. "I'm sorry, Remus. I should've waited longer before dropping by."

[true_marauder]

"Don't." He pulled away from her touch, though caught in the corner of the bedroom he couldn't move far. It was lucky that Grimmauld place was block from apparating, other then from one floor to the other, or he might have ended up at some unknown destination in nothing but the thin sheet. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands tightly, feeling the nails digging into his palms and welcoming the pain.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice low but sharp.

[auror_aura]

"Remus," she began, and made a move as though to touch him again, grab him, pull him around to look at her, but then she thought better of it.

"You didn't hurt me. I was startled, that's all. It was my fault, you've told me before it's better to wait until later in the day. Look at me, Remus."

[true_marauder]

He was a coward. In his innermost mind he had never quite understood how he came to be sorted into Gryffindor, when his first instinct was always to run and hide. He'd spent 12 years on the run after the war, and sometimes he thought it would have been better if he had stayed away. He turned, but couldn't meet her gaze.

"I suggested you stay away, but I didn't explain why. I didn't explain this well enough." He paused as he gestured to the room, the bed that was in ruins. She'd been in that bed just a few nights ago, and now he'd destroyed it, as he would destroy her, given the chance

[auror_aura]

This was ridiculous. She didn't like making him feel cornered but she had to touch him, reassure him. She ran her fingers through his hair gently, not allowing him to turn away. "We both messed up. You ought to have explained things better and I ought to have taken your advice. It's not going to be perfect. We'll work on it together."

[true_marauder]

"Perfect?" His laugh was bitter. With caution and control he touched the red marks with one finger.

"If you were dating anyone else and I found you with marks like these I would hunt the bastard down and make sure he never touched another woman. And I wouldn't be alone." With a grimace he looked up at the ceiling, where Sirius was probably still asleep.

[auror_aura]

"You didn't do it intentionally!" He was running away again, and it was all her fault. "It was an accident, and you didn't do me any harm. You wouldn't have."

[true_marauder]

"You still don't understand. I would have. If you had come in a minute earlier, if I had been a little harder to pull out of it, if one little thing had been different I would have left you with a hell of a lot more then bruised wrists. And I would have enjoyed it." Never had he hated the wolf within more.

"I always knew I would hurt you but I never..." He pushed past her, crossing the room to the wardrobe. His sheet fell off as he reached up to feel for the wand he had stowed carefully out of reach. Once he had it he unlocked the wardrobe door and started to get dressed.