(no subject)
Boy, all I ever do is complain. Whine whine whine. Shut the fuck up, Kirsten, don't you ever have anything NICE to say. Oh, poor you, your life sucks so much robot cock, but did you ever stop to think that HEY, maybe life ISN'T the big shithole you made it out to be? No. Of course not. You're too busy sitting behind your shitty little computer, feeling depressed and lonely and hated and scared.
Because you're STUPID.
You're TOO DAMN STUPID to come to the realization that HEY, your life doesn't have to revolve around a boy, HEY, your life can go on while your dad is jail, HEY, Delaware ain't that bad, HEY, you do actually have friends, even though they're far away and you have absolutely no social life anymore...
See what I mean. I turned that into another bitchrant. Aren't I wonderful. Wonderfuckingful.
It hurts to be useless. To not have anybody to run to. To always assume that the person you love is going to betray you, turn on you, hate you, that they never liked you in the first place and are only using you now, or that they didn't mean to get involved with someone as stupid and horrid and ugly and annoying and USELESS as me.
But no. There's no choice and there never will be. I delude myself with all these false hopes that maybe someday I will have a choice, and maybe the person on the other side of the mirror will choose the same thing. Will choose to be with me, instead of somebody else.
And here I go again with the selfish whining about how I'm so alone.
Even though I have a boyfriend.
A boyfriend who I'm madly in love with but I don't ever feel returns the affection. I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell him just how I feel but every time I do he doesn't listen, he doesn't want to hear it. I don't know what I'm doing. Getting all tongue-tied and bent out of shape over another person. I shouldn't do that. People don't want me. WHY CAN'T I GET THAT THROUGH MY PACHYCEPHALODINE SKULL?? DEAR CHILD ARE YOU LISTENING TO THE BULLSHIT YOU'RE WRITING ON THE WALL??
You're just TOO FUCKING STUPID to understand.
But that's okay. I'll just put the wall up and nobody will ever know.
Ever.
Because you're STUPID.
You're TOO DAMN STUPID to come to the realization that HEY, your life doesn't have to revolve around a boy, HEY, your life can go on while your dad is jail, HEY, Delaware ain't that bad, HEY, you do actually have friends, even though they're far away and you have absolutely no social life anymore...
See what I mean. I turned that into another bitchrant. Aren't I wonderful. Wonderfuckingful.
It hurts to be useless. To not have anybody to run to. To always assume that the person you love is going to betray you, turn on you, hate you, that they never liked you in the first place and are only using you now, or that they didn't mean to get involved with someone as stupid and horrid and ugly and annoying and USELESS as me.
But no. There's no choice and there never will be. I delude myself with all these false hopes that maybe someday I will have a choice, and maybe the person on the other side of the mirror will choose the same thing. Will choose to be with me, instead of somebody else.
And here I go again with the selfish whining about how I'm so alone.
Even though I have a boyfriend.
A boyfriend who I'm madly in love with but I don't ever feel returns the affection. I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell him just how I feel but every time I do he doesn't listen, he doesn't want to hear it. I don't know what I'm doing. Getting all tongue-tied and bent out of shape over another person. I shouldn't do that. People don't want me. WHY CAN'T I GET THAT THROUGH MY PACHYCEPHALODINE SKULL?? DEAR CHILD ARE YOU LISTENING TO THE BULLSHIT YOU'RE WRITING ON THE WALL??
You're just TOO FUCKING STUPID to understand.
But that's okay. I'll just put the wall up and nobody will ever know.
Ever.