(no subject)
The Temptations have been the soundtrack to my month. I'm an idiot for not obsessing over all of this stuff years ago.
Today I got a much needed haircut and shaved and I feel like my face is breathing on it's own. Feels crazy.
I got a new car. A 98 Toyota Camry. The thing is leaps and bounds above anything I've been driving. The air conditioning works, the windows defrost in an instant, it has both a CD player and a tape deck, functioning blinkers, I even have power windows. And a sunroof. or a moonroof. I don't know of those are different things. I have one of them. I've been keeping my tank full too, which is something I've never done and seeing the gauge up around F feels like what I imagine a cocaine binge feels like.
On the back of my car.
So I've been balls deep in an ongoing effort to better myself as a person and fit a little more into my image of what it means to be an adult. It seems all that's come out of it is that I drink more.
I hate talking about drinking because I feel like a complete bro dude. Unless you already think of me as a bro dude (I'm flattered) try to look past that, because I'm really gonna push it.
I think maybe I've been drinking too much. Really. Now, I do like drinking a good bit, and I never do anything stupid (anymore) as a result or go overboard or anything, but I feel like I'm SUPPOSED to feel like it's ridiculous. Now, I work five nights a week and go to school full time. Some (myself included) would say given that I don't fuck anything up, I've earned it to be an idiot at night.
This does stand in stark contrast with the effort I've been making to get back into shape. Going to Vegas last year started a downward spiral backwards after all the weight I lost in the year before that. For the past month or so I've been eating better, making (sometimes sporadic) efforts to go running and other exercise-type shit, and I feel way better. It's just kinda silly that if I took all that beer out of my diet I'd probably look like John fucking Basedow by now.
Regardless, it feels very good to have money in the bank, be on top of school (albeit after only one week) and when need be using my free time to do things that I need to do. I think if I didn't have an outlet to be act like an irresponsible asshole, or at the very least a fucking idiot my little heart would give out on me. And you couldn't have a better supporting cast than mine for that sort of thing.
Really though, I should give them more credit. A few of my friends, especially the ones I'm left with when everyone else leaves, I really think of almost like family. The type of thing that gives you a kind of concern for what's going on with them. It sort of seems like everyone's acknowledged how much we've gone wrong in the past few years, and everyone's getting their shit together at once and it's really cool to watch it happen. If anything it makes it easier to do the right thing in my own personal situation.
Do The Right Thing. That's a fucking great movie. I just saw it for the first time like two weeks ago and couldn't stop talking about it.
Anyway, I'm sure they don't think of all that stuff the same way I do, but it's alright, whatever makes me feel better I'm alright with.
I think I'm getting a tattoo on Thursday. The same one I've talked about getting since I was like 15 or 16. The Bouncing Souls broken heart on my left forearm. I couldn't possibly think of anything more appropriate.
I haven't had much of anyone to really talk to in a little while, maybe in part because of how busy I've been, and at risk of sounding a little pathetic it feels good to put all of this out there, almost like I'm validating it. and there's so much more I want to say.
but it's Hitchings birthday today, and this is more than long enough. Duty calls.
Today I got a much needed haircut and shaved and I feel like my face is breathing on it's own. Feels crazy.
I got a new car. A 98 Toyota Camry. The thing is leaps and bounds above anything I've been driving. The air conditioning works, the windows defrost in an instant, it has both a CD player and a tape deck, functioning blinkers, I even have power windows. And a sunroof. or a moonroof. I don't know of those are different things. I have one of them. I've been keeping my tank full too, which is something I've never done and seeing the gauge up around F feels like what I imagine a cocaine binge feels like.
On the back of my car.
So I've been balls deep in an ongoing effort to better myself as a person and fit a little more into my image of what it means to be an adult. It seems all that's come out of it is that I drink more.
I hate talking about drinking because I feel like a complete bro dude. Unless you already think of me as a bro dude (I'm flattered) try to look past that, because I'm really gonna push it.
I think maybe I've been drinking too much. Really. Now, I do like drinking a good bit, and I never do anything stupid (anymore) as a result or go overboard or anything, but I feel like I'm SUPPOSED to feel like it's ridiculous. Now, I work five nights a week and go to school full time. Some (myself included) would say given that I don't fuck anything up, I've earned it to be an idiot at night.
This does stand in stark contrast with the effort I've been making to get back into shape. Going to Vegas last year started a downward spiral backwards after all the weight I lost in the year before that. For the past month or so I've been eating better, making (sometimes sporadic) efforts to go running and other exercise-type shit, and I feel way better. It's just kinda silly that if I took all that beer out of my diet I'd probably look like John fucking Basedow by now.
Regardless, it feels very good to have money in the bank, be on top of school (albeit after only one week) and when need be using my free time to do things that I need to do. I think if I didn't have an outlet to be act like an irresponsible asshole, or at the very least a fucking idiot my little heart would give out on me. And you couldn't have a better supporting cast than mine for that sort of thing.
Really though, I should give them more credit. A few of my friends, especially the ones I'm left with when everyone else leaves, I really think of almost like family. The type of thing that gives you a kind of concern for what's going on with them. It sort of seems like everyone's acknowledged how much we've gone wrong in the past few years, and everyone's getting their shit together at once and it's really cool to watch it happen. If anything it makes it easier to do the right thing in my own personal situation.
Do The Right Thing. That's a fucking great movie. I just saw it for the first time like two weeks ago and couldn't stop talking about it.
Anyway, I'm sure they don't think of all that stuff the same way I do, but it's alright, whatever makes me feel better I'm alright with.
I think I'm getting a tattoo on Thursday. The same one I've talked about getting since I was like 15 or 16. The Bouncing Souls broken heart on my left forearm. I couldn't possibly think of anything more appropriate.
I haven't had much of anyone to really talk to in a little while, maybe in part because of how busy I've been, and at risk of sounding a little pathetic it feels good to put all of this out there, almost like I'm validating it. and there's so much more I want to say.
but it's Hitchings birthday today, and this is more than long enough. Duty calls.