Off Couple of Weeks, Months, Year Really
I have tried to deal with my own crap and cry to only those closest to me, but right now I feel like screaming, so to avoid the neighbors calling the cops to report loud noises coming from my house, I thought I’d reach out to my friends to vent. So consider yourself warned, the following is the rantings of a women on the edge.
- Recently, my husband of 9 years, best friend for over 20 years, who I was supporting through school, decided that, despite still loving me, he didn’t want to be married anymore or have children and left me.
- My brother was addicted to Crystal Meth, was dealing, charged with drug possession, and has been under house arrest.
- My aunt was injured on the job and has been waiting almost 8 months now for L&I to approve her surgeries and give her any money to support herself and her daughter. She’s worked hard her whole life and now she has been evicted from one place and about to be evicted from another so I have been her primary financial support.
- My mom was arrested for selling drugs in a trailer park she lived in over 4 years ago, then while awaiting her trial she tried to commit suicide.
- I lost an uncle to a drug overdose.
- And my great aunt pasted away of cancer.
You think you can take everything that comes your way, but some weeks it seems like too much, so here’s been my last week…
- I found out that Ted (my now ex-husband) has started dating one of his study partners, someone that I know and met while we were still married.
- My aunt’s L&I still has not been approved (government apparently doesn’t care if you end up on the streets, they will get to things on there own timeline) and they were about to repo her car, so I switch cars with her, now I’m driving her car that smells like her dogs and missing my Honda, which I just had to take out another loan on to cover my aunt’s rent for the last couple months.
- My mom’s trial has been delayed because the courts are too busy and the only witnesses that defend her case are drug users, have records, or have pasted away so they can’t call them to trial. I’ve had to take time off work to take her back and forth to court and I received a supina to appear at her trial as possibly her only witness.
- I’ve been pulling double time at work because my counterpart quit and taking time off for my mom’s trial isn’t helping.
- I can’t even get into the lack of maintenance on my house and my yard these days, but the dandelions were taking over so I finally hired a lawn care company and on their first day to start (today) it rained and they cancelled so the dandelions are still there haunting me.
- And when I’m not at work or at court with my mom, I’ve been working on taxes for me and my neighbors. And now that I see I’m getting a refund, I am reminded that I agreed to share it with Ted, even though he didn’t work last year, so although I have already paid him for the house and covered his expenses, I now have to write him one more big check.
So this week I am reminded, that I am broke from the divorce, I’m broke from my aunt, I’ve borrowed about everything I can, I’m heart broken and alone from the news about Ted, and I’m stressed with work and my mom’s trial. BLAH!!! And the damn dandelions are still there.
And all I really want to do is go to the beach and paint.
The only break I’ve had in all this was getting to go to the Monkey Moot this weekend, that was probably the only thing keeping me sane, and once I left I had 7 messages from my neighbor and several from my friends who received calls from my neighbor who couldn’t reach me about her taxes and apparently didn’t know I was out of town, so she panicked and called everyone she knew and left me having to call everyone back to explain I just went to relax for a couple days. Teach me to take a break.
It is weeks like this that I am reminded that LIFE SUCKS!
But then I read the news about Basic Rights Oregon and at least I know that things will get better.
P.S. My next posting with be happy! Promise! Something fun about the Monkey Moot!