What Drunk Type Are You?
I’ve decided there needs to be an addition to my list of the different types of drunks. I don’t remember if I’ve ever written it down before, but for the past few years, I decided that there were only 4 main types. My guess is the past few weeks of craziness has expanded what I believe is within these categories. I guess I can break them all down for your educational enlightenment:
1. Good Time Drunk - This is by far the most common type of drunk. When people have a few drinks, things tend to get “lighter.” Whether that “lighter” is in terms of mood, personality, “social barriers,” appropriateness, or vulgarity is unique to each person. The good time drunk is all of these at the same time. The saturation point brings about an exciting person that everyone wants to be around. There people are loud, talkative, and always wanting to dance. In some small instances, the “bar all-star” appears. This is the ultimate in good time drunk. The kind of person who knows just what to do, at all times, in order to have fun. In other instances, you get the sloppy good timer, who, while still is a lot of fun, makes a mess for everyone.
Telltale sayings: “Lets go dancing!”, “who wants to do shots with me?” “I’m not drunk, you ARE!”
2. Violent Drunk - A less common drunk, often appearing within testosterone filled males of late teen to early twenties, the violent drunk plays on the invincibility aspect of alcohol. Part of it is the mental sense of invulnerability, and the other part is the physical deafening of pain during this period. These upstanding young citizens tend to get to the point where the alcohol begins to fuel their lust of action. This action does not always involve physical contact, but it always involves macho posturing. These actions can include breaking things, physical greetings, head bashing, wrestling, and smashing. These are the folks that you would not want “crashing” at your place in fear that they might awaken in a stupor and begin pummeling other guests.
Telltale sayings: “Go ahead, hit me,” “hey, don’t you be talking to my girl,” “what is YOUR problem?” “Don’t mess with me”
3. Crying Drunk - By far my least favorite drunk, the crying drunk is the epitome of alcohol’s truth serum and emotional resonator side affects. Alcohol has an ability to magnify emotions and grind raw the mental defenses that keep us from being able to express how we truly feel. In many cases, this will be limited to minor misses in peoples lives. In rare cases, they’ve been putting things away, and hiding things so long that only the raw power of alcohol can bring it out. Perhaps this is a fairly recent breakup, or a breakup 5 years ago, the scars heal slowly. The crying drunk is overtaken by the emotion and will try to tell everyone in hearing distance.
Telltale sayings: “why why why?” “Its all my fault,” “I did my best”
4. Self Aware Drunk - A fairly regular drunk, this drunk is actually less drunk than it is type. Self aware drunks often haven’t really had much to drink. These drunks can be…we…sober. Confusing as this may sound, the self-aware drunk is the type that is always way to well aware of what is going on. Often, taking it a step further and buying in completely to a placebo like effect. They think alcohol’s properties are so much more potent than they actually are. This may sound like a great problem, except these people tend to avoiding drinking enough for better effects to come into play. They also use alcohol as an enabler and an excuse to do things they know they would not normally do. I might also call these types “fakers.”
Telltale sayings: “No thanks, I’ve been drinking all night (at 9pm),” “oh man, this party is sooo good,” “I’m sooo drunk right now”
5. Paranoid Drunk - This is my new type of drunk. This type is a combination of the good time drunk and the crying drunk. They let their emotions come to the forefront, but they tend to be less painful emotions. It doesn’t elicit the sadness and depression, but rather paranoid schizophrenia. Upon intoxication, this drunk will lose sight of what keeps them normal members of society and give rise to thoughts of abandonment and twitchy flake like actions. I would best relate this to the sorority girl stereotypes, still looking to have fun, but easily confused and self conscious.
Telltale sayings: “What’s wrong?”, “are you mad at me?”, and “why aren’t you paying attention to me?”
1. Good Time Drunk - This is by far the most common type of drunk. When people have a few drinks, things tend to get “lighter.” Whether that “lighter” is in terms of mood, personality, “social barriers,” appropriateness, or vulgarity is unique to each person. The good time drunk is all of these at the same time. The saturation point brings about an exciting person that everyone wants to be around. There people are loud, talkative, and always wanting to dance. In some small instances, the “bar all-star” appears. This is the ultimate in good time drunk. The kind of person who knows just what to do, at all times, in order to have fun. In other instances, you get the sloppy good timer, who, while still is a lot of fun, makes a mess for everyone.
Telltale sayings: “Lets go dancing!”, “who wants to do shots with me?” “I’m not drunk, you ARE!”
2. Violent Drunk - A less common drunk, often appearing within testosterone filled males of late teen to early twenties, the violent drunk plays on the invincibility aspect of alcohol. Part of it is the mental sense of invulnerability, and the other part is the physical deafening of pain during this period. These upstanding young citizens tend to get to the point where the alcohol begins to fuel their lust of action. This action does not always involve physical contact, but it always involves macho posturing. These actions can include breaking things, physical greetings, head bashing, wrestling, and smashing. These are the folks that you would not want “crashing” at your place in fear that they might awaken in a stupor and begin pummeling other guests.
Telltale sayings: “Go ahead, hit me,” “hey, don’t you be talking to my girl,” “what is YOUR problem?” “Don’t mess with me”
3. Crying Drunk - By far my least favorite drunk, the crying drunk is the epitome of alcohol’s truth serum and emotional resonator side affects. Alcohol has an ability to magnify emotions and grind raw the mental defenses that keep us from being able to express how we truly feel. In many cases, this will be limited to minor misses in peoples lives. In rare cases, they’ve been putting things away, and hiding things so long that only the raw power of alcohol can bring it out. Perhaps this is a fairly recent breakup, or a breakup 5 years ago, the scars heal slowly. The crying drunk is overtaken by the emotion and will try to tell everyone in hearing distance.
Telltale sayings: “why why why?” “Its all my fault,” “I did my best”
4. Self Aware Drunk - A fairly regular drunk, this drunk is actually less drunk than it is type. Self aware drunks often haven’t really had much to drink. These drunks can be…we…sober. Confusing as this may sound, the self-aware drunk is the type that is always way to well aware of what is going on. Often, taking it a step further and buying in completely to a placebo like effect. They think alcohol’s properties are so much more potent than they actually are. This may sound like a great problem, except these people tend to avoiding drinking enough for better effects to come into play. They also use alcohol as an enabler and an excuse to do things they know they would not normally do. I might also call these types “fakers.”
Telltale sayings: “No thanks, I’ve been drinking all night (at 9pm),” “oh man, this party is sooo good,” “I’m sooo drunk right now”
5. Paranoid Drunk - This is my new type of drunk. This type is a combination of the good time drunk and the crying drunk. They let their emotions come to the forefront, but they tend to be less painful emotions. It doesn’t elicit the sadness and depression, but rather paranoid schizophrenia. Upon intoxication, this drunk will lose sight of what keeps them normal members of society and give rise to thoughts of abandonment and twitchy flake like actions. I would best relate this to the sorority girl stereotypes, still looking to have fun, but easily confused and self conscious.
Telltale sayings: “What’s wrong?”, “are you mad at me?”, and “why aren’t you paying attention to me?”